"Rough night! Good thing I just ate a burrito. Maybe I'll just check Facebook before I fall asleep, I mean the curser is like right on my status bar anyway." Bad decision #1 (#2 if you count the burrito). The next mistakes are a domino effect: you graffiti your co-workers' Facebook walls with the word "fart." You re-tweet 50 of your ex-boyfriend's tweets. You implore an OKCupid date from two years ago to come over via text message, at least you think that's who the "Mark" in your phone was.
It's called drunk digital driving, kids, and it destroys reputations.
The Social Media SobrietyTest is here to help. Your virtual designated driver, the application for Twitter and Facebook forces users to answer sobering brain-teasers before accessing their accounts in the wee hours. It's a good idea and not the first of its kind. Gmail offers a similar service for email users. And surprise, surprise, the iPhone has an app for preventing drunk texts and calls. Thanks, internet. Just one problem: it's really fun to read other people's web walks of shame. And there have been many. Here's a look....
Drunkest Texts (via Texts From Last Night):
- "I'm just gonna be the bigger person and say I want you inside me."
- "We could make it a date, dinner and show. The show being my nipples getting pieced."
- "I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you."
- "I'm on a plane to LA where I'm doing the tonight show friday. I'm kid of hammered on rum n cokes. bad idea." "My head hurts. The turbulence on this flight is nasty. uuuuhh. I hate the letter H. I ate it. I'm very tired. Verry." That was the start and end of comedian Louis CK's airborne barrage of hammered tweets. Read all the awesomely unprintable tweets, in between, here.