Recently, after a indulging in a few rounds of brewed libations, I was recruited into a conversation with some friends about to what extent we'd go to fulfill the desires of our sexual partners and their fantasies. After some alcohol induced contemplation, I boldly expressed that there were few things that should be out of bounds between two people who love each.
Of course, that led to several more rounds of beer, and a couple of healthy rounds of "but, what if". Now, I've never been one to back down from a challenge, and I've been known from time to time to say and do some things just for the shock value. But when it comes to the issue of sexual exploration, I must also confess that I've always been fairly adventurous.
But, this group can be absolutely brutal. And the more beer they drank, the more outrageous the "what if's" became.
"But, what if she wanted to handcuff you?" (As long as I can handcuff her, too))
"But, what if she wanted to spank you with a whip?" (As long as I'm not handcuffed)
"But, what if she asked you to lick between her toes?" (Only after she's washed her feet)
"But, what if she wanted you to watch her with another man (Watch them do what? If they were shooting pool it'd be okay. Otherwise, I ain't wit that one)?"
"But what if she wanted you to stick your tongue in her a**hole?" (WHAT???!!!)
Now, I should confess at this point that I'm known as the most open minded of the group. I like to create verbal visuals about things that I'd be open to, if only to push a few buttons. There are times that I may go overboard, but it's all in good fun. A few weeks ago, one of the women, in her own efforts to be creative, called me "The Cunning Linguist", and somehow, the tag seems to have stuck.
But, in all of my beer embolden bravado; I could not come up with a smart enough retort for that one. The only thing that I could muster was "Stick my tongue where?" The women laughed, and suddenly, I felt sexually inexperienced. So I had to ask one of the women if they'd ever experienced that particular party favor. Two of them had, and one of them more than once.
So, where the heck have I been? All I could ask after that was "Did he kiss you afterwards?" Now, I'm really curious. Is this something that guy's are doing and not admitting to, because I can't, for the life of me, find one guy who will confess to that one. And after thinking about it, neither would I.
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