Recently engaged actress Meagan Good is reportedly waiting until she's tied the knot with her fiance to have sex with him for the first time. (Pause for reaction.) In the era of instant everything, the "Jumping the Broom" actress' choice might seem a bit odd. But according to headlines, she and her betrothed have been celibate for the year they've been dating. This isn't exactly a new concept, but it is one that many people are choosing to explore. How do you determine whether this decision is best for you?
Pro: You can determine how much someone really respects you as a person.
Obviously one of the main benefits of waiting until marriage to have sex is that you get to find out just how much someone likes you. Women in particular have a difficult time determining whether a man is interested in them for something purely physical or for something that could be potentially long-term. Many would argue that you don't necessarily have to wait until marriage to find out whether someone loves and respects you. But like Meagan and her fiance, waiting until the wedding night to share that special moment is perhaps more symbolic than anything.
Con: You are unsure whether you and your partner will be sexually compatible.
Unfortunately, one of the main reasons why people struggle with this concept is because they are unsure whether they and their potential spouse would be compatible sexually. However, therapists might argue that you don't necessarily need sexual intercourse per se to determine whether you have the kind of chemistry that will sustain for the long haul.
Pro: You are free to concentrate on other important aspects of the relationship.
Indeed, there is a lot more to a romantic relationship than just sex. Nonetheless, without the burden of sex you are afforded the opportunity to concentrate on things that you would probably have overlooked due to your growing state of infatuation. Those personality quirks that you find endearing (because he's great in the bedroom) might become big red flags when examined with an unbiased view.
Con: You may feel the urge to rush things.
Logically some people may find remaining celibate to be a "waste of time", especially when they are unsure about exactly where the relationship is headed. Ironically, the very thing you are trying to avoid may take place simply because you have chosen to hold off on physical intimacy. In other words, you may over-romanticize the relationship and in turn, rush things in order to get to the "good" part.
Is waiting for marriage right for you?
There is a big difference between remaining a virgin until marriage, and choosing to remain celibate until marriage. Virgins don't know what they're missing; however the latter usually involves lessons learned in retrospect. Waiting for someone who is worthy of your time and resources isn't unnatural.
Obviously this isn't the right decision for everyone. Although waiting until the wedding night may seem nerve-racking, there are varying levels of intimacy to be explored prior to marriage without actually having sex. Is Meagan Good's future marriage more likely to last as a result of the couple's choice to be celibate? Ultimately, it's difficult to say; sex or no - whatever you put into your relationship is what you will likely get out of it.
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