It has been said often that life is a game of perception. Whether you believe that things will work out for you or not, you are exactly right. For better or worse, we have ingrained beliefs about how relationships should unfold. Some of these stories come from experiences with our families; other limiting beliefs come from our cultures or society. In any case, don't believe everything you think.
A belief is just a thought that you keep thinking. If there's a mantra you subscribe to, such as "all men are dogs," you will most certainly attract and be drawn to men who will prove you right.
Let's look at two thought systems that may be preventing you from getting the love you deserve.
"All The Good Men Are Taken."
There are no good men left to hear some women tell it. All the good ones are already in a relationship or gay. Oh, really? This is a belief in scarcity that leads to bad decision making. If you think that all the good ones are gone then you might as well date jerks or even men who are already in a relationship with someone else, right? Wrong.
For better or worse, most of us cycle in and out of relationships. So if everyone seemed hooked up at 35, maybe at 40 almost half of those people are one the market again. There are great men out there and even diamonds in the rough. And here's the thing, you only need one!
A much more positive love mantra for your dating life is "every day millions of people meet their soul mates, why not me?"
"Men Don't Like Me."
Last year I was giving a talk on dating and self-esteem at the "Single in Stilettos" conference when a woman asked a poignant question. She felt that trying to date in New York City was incredibly tough for her because she was "average-looking" -- her words.
First of all, there's no such thing as looking average. We all have incredibly unique beauty that we bring to the table. Sure you may not look like Naomi Campbell, Heidi Klum or Kate Moss but guess what? Without the extensions and makeup, neither do they. Even supermodels have insecurities.
Love and appreciate who you are inside and out. Yes, men are visual creatures but give them a little more credit than that. As I said, you only need one. If you want a self confidence pick-up give yourself a Bombshell Makeover.
Unleash the goddess within and any man would be lucky to have you.
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