I've heard many on dating sites complain they don't get a lot of responses to their messages. These are people who are attractive and have well-written profiles so they can't figure out the problem. When I ask what they're writing in their initial messages, more often than not it turns out they're not sending anything worth responding to. The pictures and profile play a big part in getting a response, but what you write in the message can mean the difference between getting a reply and getting passed over. If you're sending any of the following types of messages, you may want to switch things up a bit.
Really? You couldn't think of anything else to say other than "hi." I get that some aren't great with writing personal messages, but at least throw a few more words in there. If you can't think of anything at all to write, ask a question about something that was mentioned in their profile.
"Hey sexy/hot stuff/ gorgeous"
Some think this sounds cute, but it actually makes you sound sleazy. Avoid any intro that references their appearance. You can pay them a compliment later on, but most want to know you're talking to them because of what they said in their profile and not for what they look like (even if that's not the case).
"Hey there, do you like _____ "
A guy once sent me a message that said "Hey there, do you like short guys with a big ..." I wonder if he actually thinks he's going to get a legitimate response with a message like that. I've gotten other less graphic messages, but ones along the lines of the guy asking if I liked a particular religion, race or nationality. Whether you're referencing your nationality, religion, height, weight or race, find something else to ask. Any of that information is available in your profile or through your photos, so if they're into you, they'll message you back.
"Yo, wuts gud"
No. Just no. If you're not going to speak proper English, you're better off not sending a message at all. Most are going to ignore any message they need a translator or spell check to read through.
It takes a minute or less to run your message through a spell checker and many dating websites already have one built into their messaging system. Send a message that's riddled with misspelled words and it tells the recipient that you don't care enough to correct the errors. Pay special attention to the major ones - their, they're, there, you're, your, it's and its. I know many who consider bad spelling a huge turnoff and they won't even respond to messages that contain basic spelling errors especially if one of the aforementioned words is used in the wrong context.
There are some who send a generic message to each person rather than write a tailored message. You don't even have to write a whole paragraph, but if you feel the need to, at least don't make the message sound generic. No one wants to feel as if they're one of a hundred you messaged even if it is the case. Everyone wants to feel special.
Paragraphs detailing everything about you
Long-winded paragraphs repeating the same information in your profile are some of the most annoying messages you can send. Those you're messaging are going to see all this info in your profile and even if they don't read it all, let that be part of the conversation later on so there's something left to talk about.
Some think the key to writing a good message is to go all out by writing a paragraph while many others don't want to make the effort and only write a single word. One or two sentences is a happy medium. Make sure to also include a little info that indicates you read their profile. A little effort can go a really long way.
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