"What is the worst advice your mother gave you about men?" I asked this question to different women across the country, and the answers shocked me. Some of the quotes were sad and some were unequivocally wrong. It made me realize why a few of my female friends, of all ages, look for love in all the wrong places and in nonconstructive ways. It also made clear why some of the other gals I know have settled for nothing less than an ideal relationship.
The Great Pearls of Wisdom:
"I got nothing; Mom was always right." - L.D., New Prague, Minn.
"My mom always gave me great advice; I just never followed it. That is where it went bad!" - N.M., Hayward, Wis.
"When I was a teenager, my mother told me they weren't worried about me and any guy I was with, because they knew I could beat the crap out of them." - C.O., Belle Plaine, Minn.
"I remember my mom and my aunts saying, 'back straight and chest out!'" - N.B., New Prague, Minn.
"The first thing I think of is when she told me to wait to have sex when I was a teenager. 'There are steps before sex; first a hand job, then a blow job, then sex.' That's some shocking advice for a 16 year old!" - P.K., Cushing, Okla.
The Unbearably Sad:
"My mom never gave me relationship advice. I am kind of glad she never gave me advice, because she isn't a very good role model." - N.O., Belle Plaine, Minn.
"My mom never really gave me any. She was just always there to comfort me if my heart was broken. But I can say, I know why she never really had 'advice.' Looking back, I watched her and still watch her be disrespected and treated like a doormat. She must just not know any better." - B.O., New Prague, Minn.
The Not-So-Good, the Bad, and the Chauvinistically Ugly:
"She pretty much she told me to stay away from boys. They're bad news. They use you and abuse you." - K.G. New Prague, Minn.
"The worst my mom ever told me was, 'Make sure you know how to cook and clean well, because that's when men make the best love to you.' Yeah right!" - E.B., Montgomery, Minn.
"How about, 'Well, he's the bread winner so he has all the say,' and 'they're always fun to clean up afterward.' Yeah, my mom is firm with her opinion about if the man makes the money, he makes the rules. I was complaining about refusing to go to bed when my boyfriend told me to, and she bust out with that one! Needless to say, I DON'T agree." - R.O., Houston, Texas
The Other Side of Wrongness:
"I know my mom did this. She suggested I spy or look through his things and play hard to get when I was suspicious. Just childish things!" - J.S., Sauk Rapids, Minn.
"Let me first say this is from my biological mother that I don't associate with. She said to always have a backup plan, in other words, a man you are stringing along, and to make sure your man knows it. She thought jealously was a good thing and kept a man straight, because he knew he could be easily replaced. She is on her fourth or fifth husband now, so obviously this has worked well for her." - C.G., Clarksville, Tenn.
Speaking of confusing, how is this gem that crosses the line on both sides?
"I would have to say that the worst advice my mom gave me would be, 'Marry a man for his money, NOT because you love him. And, remember, sometimes it's ok for a man to hit a woman. You just have to hit back!' Here's another one...'One of the most important things about a man is his looks, like Jim Morrison. You don't want to crawl in bed next to someone who is ugly!'"- S.N, Island Falls, Maine
"After a few dates with a really handsome guy, I told my mom I wasn't feeling any butterflies, no fireworks when we kissed. She told me I wasn't 16 anymore, that he was a good guy, and had his life together, and I needed to get over it. I told her I wasn't going to settle because I'm in my 30's and a single mom. She told me when she married my dad she wasn't in love with him. She married him because he was 'a good provider.' I simply told her I wasn't her, and I'd never marry for any reason other than LOVE!" - M.H., Cleveland, Okla.
At least, we all can be hopeful that we do not become our mothers, no matter how many times we hear that gut-wrenching cliché. If you think you can beat these stories of the "worst dating advice your mother gave you," leave your story below.
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