Many long-distance couples eventually get to the point where they want to move in together. At first it's exciting, then reality sets in and you realize one of you has to move to the other. Rarely does it happen that both decide to move to a relatively neutral place, especially when certain circumstances are factored in. So who should be the one to pack their life up into a bunch of boxes and relocate? If you and your partner are deciding on the best option, or you think you'll need to in the future, there are factors to consider before making any definite plans.
A child is typically the most influential factor in deciding who should move, especially when it comes to visitation rights. Sometimes it's not legally possible to move certain distances unless there's a whole process with the courts, and even then it may not work out. There are also kids who are in specialized schools and moving would mean they wouldn't get the same type of education that they're getting where they currently are. Some parents may also not feel comfortable uprooting their children out of their current school and lifestyle until they reach a certain grade level, mainly kindergarten, high school or college.
Having a certain job or being in a specific industry may automatically mean that one person can't move unless they get transferred, choose a new line of work or take a pay cut. Those in the military can't just pick up and move -- they're told where they're going. Someone who works in the entertainment industry will typically have to stay in New York or California in order to get opportunities and well-paying jobs. Freelancers can usually work from almost anywhere, but it depends on the work they do. Although there are many types of jobs you can find almost anywhere you move, it also depends on whether those jobs are actually available in that area.
Those who are caring for a sick or elderly family member will likely have a problem picking up and moving to a new area, especially if there's no one else to provide care or the person receives specialized treatment that's not available anywhere else. Some may also have a big problem moving away from their family at that time, in which case it may be best to live in that area until the person feels more comfortable moving away.
Cost of living
If you're thinking of moving to a big city, be prepared to pay big city prices for everything from putting a roof over your head to hiring someone to fix that roof when it gets damaged. Some may assume small towns are much cheaper, but some are filled with large homes where the average price for each is well over a million dollars. You'll want to make sure both you and your partner can actually afford the change in the cost of living from where you're currently living to where you're considering moving. In order to narrow down your options, browse City-Data.com which provides detailed information about everything from home prices to crime statistics for thousands of cities and towns across the U.S.
It's important to do your best to live in a place that makes you happy. Some say to sacrifice and deal with whatever area you move to, but if you were living in an area you couldn't stand where you felt uncomfortable and out of place, you would be miserable on a daily basis and it would affect everything from your mood to your relationship. There are many places to live that allow for a happy compromise, but in some cases, either you or your partner may end up being unhappy until the situation changes.
Moving, especially long distance, is a big decision and not one that should be taken lightly. Although it's all about being with the person you love, where you live really will have an effect on your relationship. On top of dealing with being in a new environment and getting adjusted to living with your partner, you don't want to know that the person you love is unhappy either. More often than not, there's a way to come to some type of compromise that will make both of you happy, but the key is to communicate your wants and needs and be willing to listen to your partner in return. Both of you should lay everything out on the table to help ensure that there's a happy medium.
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