During a recent discussion with a married friend of mine, we talked about whether or not it's OK to have a crush on another man when you're already in a relationship. It's easy to feel guilty for being attracted to someone other than your partner, but does it mean your own relationship is in danger? The resounding answer is no. Even if it feels like the worst thing in the world, it really isn't. Here are three reasons it's OK to have a crush when you're in a relationship.
We can't help who we are attracted to
Attraction is pretty much a part of life. It's how we decide who we want to be with, and even when we've found the one, we can't turn off our natural instincts. Much like how we keep breathing while we're asleep, we can't help noticing good-looking men when we have a boyfriend. As long as the crush doesn't take over your life, it isn't something you should be worried about.
It gives you mini-break from the stresses of daily life
Everyone has fantasies. No doubt your boyfriend occasionally glances not-so-subtly at another woman and tunes out of reality for a moment. Having a little daydream about a crush gives you a break from the real world and will make you smile. Be aware that if you are doing this very regularly, it could be a bad sign. But from time to time, it's a nice distraction!
It makes you feel happy
If you are in a solid relationship with your man, there is no harm in getting a happiness boost from thinking about another guy. Having a crush takes you back to that giddy time when you first meet someone new. Everything looks sunny, and it puts a spring in your step! This is not a threat to what you already have, it's just an added extra which could spill over and make your own relationship even better.
While having a simple crush on someone can actually be good for your overall mood, there is a fine line that you shouldn't cross. A crush is only a crush if you keep it as something meaningless that makes you feel good. The moment romantic feelings start to creep in, it is no longer innocent, and people could get hurt. Having a passing attraction for someone other than your man is totally acceptable, but only if it remains purely on the surface.
More from Kyra: