It's both a blessing and a curse that love is so unpredictable; you get the pleasure of butterflies during unexpected moments and a hurting heart when it's not going the way you would like. No one expects to fall for someone who loves someone else, but when it happens, it ties your stomach in knots and provides for some sleepless nights. I've been on both ends of this situation -- the one to love and the one to be loved -- and it's almost impossible that someone isn't going to get hurt. It's undoubtedly a delicate situation, and one you don't want to make any worse, so what are you supposed to do when the one you love, loves someone else?
Tell a couple of people you trust
This is one of those things that's going to eat you alive if you don't tell someone. You need people to help you get through this, so opening up to those you trust will provide you with an outlet to vent and a source for advice. They can also help knock some sense into you when you're planning on making some unwise choices and, let's face it, everyone needs those people in their life.
Don't tell the person how you feel
I know this goes against everything we were told growing up -- when you love someone, tell them -- but this isn't your typical situation. There are more than enough ways that this can get very messy, especially for you. Of course the person could feel the same way, but that doesn't mean the two of you are going to be together. Even if the feelings are mutual, the person should leave their relationship because they know it's not working, not because how you feel. You shouldn't be a backup option or a breakup reason for a relationship that's not working. It's not like a job where you should have a new one before you quit your old one. If the person doesn't realize they want you enough before you say something, it's not someone you want to devote your heart to at that time. Even if the person says they're leaving, there's no telling how long that's going to be. You may want to hold off on saying anything until the relationship ends and your love interest is actually single.
Let the person go
There's quite a bit of pain associated with watching someone you love, love someone else. At least for the meantime, hold off on hanging out together and conversing with each other. It really is true that if two people are supposed to be together, it's going to happen when it's supposed to, for as long as it's supposed to. From personal experience, I was only able to move on from the situation when I let go and cut ties. It actually gave me peace of mind knowing if he came to me, it was on his own accord and not because I was his "Get out of jail" card. We did eventually get together months after his relationship fell apart.
Keep yourself busy
You can't sit around checking your texts or your Facebook messages hoping for contact that may never even come. The best thing to do is keep yourself busy and get your mind off things. Letting go may feel similar to a break up, and rightfully so, especially if the two of you are friends. Of course healing is not going to happen overnight, but the more you make an effort to get yourself busy with other things, the better it is for you.
Although every situation is different, I can promise that everything is going to happen the way it's supposed to, even if it doesn't make sense at the time. It's going to be a painful and difficult time, but all you can do is take care of yourself. If only love were as easy to turn off and on as flipping a light switch.
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