To find out your guy lied, cheated and broke your trust makes you feel as if your heart was ripped out, stabbed and stomped on. Nothing in the world can prepare you for that pain, even if you already have an inkling that it happened. I've been through it as have many others. The only good thing is that while you don't have control of the fact that you have to deal with this situation in the first place, you do have control of how you can deal with it. So how do you get through being cheated on when you have no idea where to start?
Don't bash yourself
Many have a habit of bashing themselves after being cheated on, saying how they're a horrible person, it's all their fault and that they're never going to find a good guy. That is the last thing you should do to yourself. You and your guy may have had problems in your relationship, but it wasn't an excuse for him to go out and cheat. While the two of you should take responsibility for the problems, he's the only one who was responsible for the cheating itself.
Don't blame every guy for one guy's mistake
After being cheated on, it's not easy to get your mind wrapped around the idea that another guy isn't going to do the same thing to you. However, every guy should not pay for one guy's mistake. The only way you can make sure you don't blame other guys for your ex's indiscretion is to keep reminding yourself that they're all not the same and that, should you transfer the anger and fear, you could ruin something good because of something bad someone else did.
Avoid jumping into a new relationship
Finding a rebound guy may seem like a good idea at the time, but it only makes you avoid the feelings and pain instead of dealing with them. Take some time to let yourself heal and grieve before committing yourself to someone else. You always want to have a clear head to process everything and a clear head when you get into a new relationship so you know for sure that he's someone you should be involved with.
Don't go to him for comfort
There are many women who turn to the same guy for comfort who hurt them in the first place. He's the last person you should go to. As cheesy as it sounds, the best way to find comfort and peace is to look inside yourself. Read a bunch of self-help books and meditate if that's what it takes, but do what you have to to find some peace. While you're putting yourself back together, it's best if you cut ties with him altogether permanently or at least until you figure things out.
Don't agree to forgive if you can't
If you decide that you want to get back with your guy, don't do so unless you know you can forgive him and work to get past things. Quite a few ladies will get back together with the guy but hold what happened over his head. They'll completely lose trust in him and hope to get over it, but at the same time will have insecurities and fear that it'll happen again and those feelings start to eat at them and the relationship. All this does is put strain on the relationship and make things worse. Be honest with yourself and if you find that you really won't be able to forgive him and trust him again, you're better off moving onto someone else.
Wallow then move forward
One of the worst things you can do is keep wallowing in your grief and sadness. Give yourself a week at the most to eat ice cream, watch sappy movies and hide out in bed before you give yourself a swift kick in the derriere and get back to your life. You do have to deal with your feelings, but that doesn't mean letting misery suck you in. The more you confront your sadness and work to move forward, the sooner you'll start feeling better.
Don't rush to take him back
There are so many women who are so eager to work things out with their guy that they rush into taking him back. Give yourself time to figure out what you want to do. Being brutally honest with yourself can allow you to decide if you really want to give him another shot and if he actually deserves one or if you want to kick him to the curb and find someone else.
There's no doubt that being cheated on is painful, but as someone who's been through it, you can get past it and find happiness. You have to do what you think is best for you and if that means taking time away from him for a few weeks or running off to the spa for the day, so be it. Considering he's the one who cheated, he should have no problem trying to make things right and giving you the time you need to decide what you want to do without pushing you.
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