Last year, my husband returned from an eight month deployment. When he got home, we didn't give the time apart the respect and space it needed, and instead, continued our lives, without really stopping to deal with what this separation had done to our marriage. We spent a lot of time re-cementing my husband's relationship with our two year old, and now, almost a year later, they are buddies, and my son probably doesn't even remember a time without his dad.
Soon after my husband's return, I got pregnant. And with the pregnancy came additional challenges. Plus, with me working from home and attending school, it was so easy to let my marriage be the one thing I didn't have time for.
Well, this year, things are going to change. We are having our second child any day now, but this baby's arrival is reaffirming my idea that our marriage has to be one of our top priorities; we're in this together; we chose each other, and it's time to give that decision the time and respect it deserves. So, here are my three resolutions for 2013:
1. To give my husband at least an hour of concentrated time each day. We always spend time as a family, but what we really need is to spend alone, together. Watching a movie. Talking. Playing a Game. We've already started, and it's So. Much. Fun.
2. Going out on dates! Last Saturday, we just went to a movie. We were home in two hours, but it was two hours out on a Saturday night, where we could relax, joke with each other, and even flirt a little.
3. Have more fun at home. My husband and I are so intense that often, we look at our evenings as time to get work done. I have homework or writing to do, he has to work on something, and we end up in separate rooms. So, now, we've put away our work at a certain time, (even if this means that I work a bit more on the weekends) and we spend the time together. We're loving it, and it's brought us so much closer.
How do you prioritize your marriage when you have young children? Do you ever feel like this balancing act is super hard?
Sarahlynne loves writing for Shine as a Parenting Guru. She also is the co-founder of merelymothers.com, a website that talks about mothers as women, wives, and fashionistas.