14 Most Outdated Pieces of Baby Advice

My daughter was spoiled in every way, soothed to sleep, and picked up whenever she cried to be picked up from the time she was born. She is confident, secure, and independent now. She's a great sleeper, and very outgoing in general. I was left to cry it out and I am still afraid of the dark and I have nightmares. So by personal experience, I'm inclined to agree that CIO isn't great. I mean, later, I knew I could not go to my parents, and had to take care of everything by myself, which led to lying and secretive behavior. I also have serious trust issues. BUT I sleep through the night so it's ok, right? You think it's ok now but later on, the kids need therapy, and perhaps for the rest of their lives, they have issues.

Crying it out is never good for an infant. Aside from the physical harm it does (raises cortisol levels as well as blood pressure), it teaches the infant that their cries (their ONLY form of communication) mean nothing and that not even their parents will be there to soothe them when they are in need. Babies need the closeness of their mothers for a myriad of reasons – to feed, to sleep, and to be soothed. Leaving a baby to cry it out is cruel and quite selfish. The only reason the baby stops crying eventually is because they have learned that their cries go unanswered and have basically given up on trying to communicate a need. In Africa where babies are carried around in slings most of their waking hours, crying is unheard of. In Japan where babies sleep with their mothers and almost exclusively breastfeed, SIDS is unheard of. In both regions children are extremely independent because they feel secure in knowing that they can rely on their parents should they need help. Its only in the US where babies are left to cry it out, sleep in a different room, drink cow’s milk or soy based formula that there are such problems. Some children in this country are so insecure in themselves and I believe it is a direct result of ridiculous parenting books such as Train Up a Child, Babywise, and any books about crying it out or “Ferberization”. I honestly don’t understand why some people have children if they view them as such an inconvenience. It is heartbreaking and I fear for the future of our young children. If you want to read some good parenting advice, pick up any books by Dr. Sears, Meredith Small, or Dr. James McKenna. Or better yet, why not just follow your instincts? You can’t tell me that you actually enjoy hearing your baby cry…you’re not supposed to. You as mothers are evolutionarily hardwired to be bothered by the sound of your baby’s cry because you are supposed to pick him or her up (notice I didn’t use the pronoun “it” as some others on here have).

I cannot even believe some of the comments that I'm reading. I'm very, very frightened for some of your children. If you are going to raise children, which is the most demanding job I've ever known, then do that child a favor and educate yourself on the emotional development of infants and children. Far too many people have children and have NO CLUE what is developmentally and age appropriate behavior. During the first several months of a child's life all cries need to be responded to, this is when trust is initially developed between a child and parent. They have NO OTHER WAY to communicate a need other than to cry. At this age they have NO CONCEPT of manipulation. If they are crying it's because they have a NEED. This is your job as a parent, to respond to cries and figure out why the baby is crying. I have not had a full nights sleep in many months, some nights are better than others but this is my job, this is what I signed up for when I chose to have a baby. Stop being selfish and realize that it's going to be over sooner than you'd like. If you're having a hard time with it then get some help.

Not to mention my best memories were of my grandma "saving me" from having to go to sleep by myself in the dark... I still really never forgave my parents for that.

Crying does definitely NOT help develop their lungs but can cause a hernia!!! letting a 2 month old baby "cry it out" is NEGLET!!! also laziness. you had a baby. hold them and soothe them when they cry and find out what's wrong with them. If not then give them to someone who will!!!!!!!! disgusting!

ALSO putting a baby to sleep on their belly SIGNIFICANTLY increases risk for SIDS....then fact that your child may have SURVIVE sleeping on their tummy just means they were LUCKY! do some research!!

the pussification of America..... let them cry it out or else they will train the parent....

the pussification of America..... let them cry it out or else they will train the parent....

I think people think Cry It Out is just letting the baby scream for hours on end until he finally tuckers himself out. But that's not it. It's just giving the child an opportunity to self-soothe. If you've determined that the baby doesn't need anything, let them cry for a few minutes so they can figure out ways to calm themselves down. If they don't manage it on their own, go and get them. As they get older, increase the time they cry for a few minutes. Go periodically and reassure the child that you are there: speak softly to him, rub his back, etc. Eventually, the child will develop some self soothing techniques.

Of course, there is balance to it. If my son (6 months) is crying for attention and I am able to stop what I'm doing, then I go pick him up and spend some time with him. If he's been playing by himself for a while and is crying because he misses me, I go hang out with him. But, if I'm cooking chickn and I'm elbow deep in salmonella, he's got to wait until I'm done. His newest thing is, he'll be playing contentedly until he sees me or my husband walk past him or leave the room, then he starts to complain about it. When he sees that we're not coming back, he goes back to playing. Letting the baby cry, when done correctly and with lots of reassurance, doesn't traumatize the child. It teacher him that Mommy and Daddy will be there for him, but sometimes he's got to be patient.

A good rule of thumb for many of these is "consult your Pediatrician". My younger son has bad acid reflux to the point he's losing too much weight. He IS on a strict feeding schedule and has rice cereal in his bottle at three months.

Really, 90% of these are a matter of individual kids. My son's acid reflux made him so miserable his first two months, I could NOT pick him up every time he cried. There would be times where he was dry, feed, warm, and still screaming his lungs out due to acid reflux. I could hold him, cuddle him, whatever and he just. kept. screaming. He had me to the point I HAD to let him scream it out because I had a pounding migraine. Yeah, definitely varies by kid.

eating your babys dieper is good for you.

The 'myth' is that there is one right way to approach any topic that will be best for all infants!
Four babies later....and now much later!....and the biggest thing I learned was not to judge other parents! I used common sense picking up with the first two....common sense CIO with the last two. All 4 still speak to me,
all 4 go to church as young adults, only diff. is that last two are sounder sleepers, and faster TO sleep

And in 10 years, all of THESE pieces of baby advice will be outdated.

"Picking infants up when they cry helps them learn that parents will always be there to take care of them."
Maybe we should only pick them up some of the time, to teach them people won't always be there for them? Better to ask yourself, do you want to raise a child to be dependent, or independent?

I never let my son sit in a soiled diaper, especially after seeing what some elderly people are subjected to in understaffed nursing homes. A soiled diaper eats at the skin. I believe one of the reasons my son never got a rash is because of frequent changes. I always picked him up whenever he cried. It was a process of elimination. It was either the diaper, discomfort or hunger. I kept his basinet in our room so I could be close to him, specifically so I could get to him quickly. I can't imagine just leaving a baby to cry. It's natural instinct for a mother to comfort their child. Just my $0.02

As one of “those” CIO parents, let me set the record straight. Of course I get up with my child when he wakes up crying in the middle of the night. I’m not a monster. What CIO means is that after your child is about 4 months old you choose to evaluate a situation before you react. And not every situation that involves crying is resolved by picking up your kid. Honestly! It means that when my child cries (usually just after) he has been put down, I give him a few minutes before I panic and run to his side. It means that I try to teach him coping skills other than holding when he’s cranky because I shut a gate or took a toy away. It means I treat him like a little person instead of a whiny puppy.

Every family is different and what works for you is great for you. That said, don’t you dare presume to judge those of us who do things differently, i.e. believe in CIO. I guarantee that every mom posting on this site loves their child dearly and would never do anything to harm them intentionally or not. I realize that there are tons of mothers who have some deep psychological need to judge every mother’s parenting skills. I call them PTA Nazi’s if you’re interested, but seriously, GET OVER YOURSELF!!!

SIDS is caused by vaccines. They know what causes SIDS but won't tell you. I will never immunize my children if ever have any of my own.

ok the only one I'm concerned about is the SIDS one which position is it really (for my future kids)

Yes, picking up a baby will definitely "spoil them". You will be stuck with a baby/toddler stuck on your hip. I have seen plenty of this. These are the kids with the seperation anexity.

It says babies under 4 months shouldn't be left to cry it out. If you're baby's 8 months and you're still picking them up every time they cry you're an idiot and you're doing more harm to your baby than good. I've lots of parents who's kids are already horribly spoiled that other people don't want them around. My son's 15 months and we often let him cry it out, and he's a very well adjusted kid.

The only advice I would ever give to any parent is this: love your child and use common sense. All the rest is opinion (expert or not).