3 myths about having "the sex talk" with your kids

My dad gave me the talk when I was six! Granted I never dated till 20 years old, I had a greater respect for it and since then it reinforced a lot of the values and morals I've heard and talked about. This article is great. For all parents with kids out there, take it from a former kid who knew about sex ed before the word sex itself, it means a lot to the kid when the parentstalk aobut those 'topics' then handing it over to someone else. It made me view my dad as more capable to handle other hard topics as well.

My kids are 13 and 9 and sex had always been an open topic just as it was in my home when I was a child. I have never had to have "the talk" due to the fact that for us talking about sex and our bodies was as normal as talking about what was for dinner. My oldest son is seeing an older friend (17) going through alot right now due the fact that he did not know he could get a girl pregnant the first time he had sex, Now the girl is pregnant and this kid is trying to be a good dad to his unborn child by getting a job and giving the girls parents the money to help out. My son told me about the situation and we talked for quite a while about it and the types of birth control available for if and when he does have sex He knows I would rather he wait until he is married but I cant be with him every second of his life so I want him informed to protect himself and whoever he is with

Good advice. As a parent I was afraid to talk to my kids about sex, but I felt comfortable explaing the :Bird and Bee's. I had rather them hear from me than from someone else.

I've never had the fortunate event where my parents give me the 'talk'. It's sad, really, but they were just chickened out and never say anything about sex and it's kind of a taboo subject in my home, up until a girl in my school pregnant out of wedlock. And even then, all they say to me was "Don't do it."

Hahahaha......but maybe to redeem their "chickening out" phase, they often gave me lots of books about sex education, sexual diseeases, religious teaching, and such in my teen age years. So instead of them giving me the lesson, it is those authors who gave me the 'talk'. And they often send me articles about sex and health education, so I'm kind of hm......self-taught in sex?

Still, I think it will be better for parents to give the 'talk'....I know I will do it if I have children someday.

I totally agree very good advice! as a mother of two boy and girl i am really scared to talk to my kids about sex each time i tell myslf today is gonna be the day i end up putting it off. so this really helps. thanks

My oldest came home from kindergarten and told his grandma he knew all about where babies come from. They were talking about it on the bus. So if you think your kid hasn't heard about it somewhere, wake up!

At that point we started having conversations. You really don't have to make a big deal about it. Sometimes something on TV or in the news can be a starting point. I think buying a book and leaving it in their room is also a good idea. They can read about it privately. But you should still talk about it.

We have been having conversations since then. My oldest is 19 and youngest is 13. It is important to share all of the biological info but also your moral values through these discussions. My line was -- it is best to wait as long as you can because having sex is physical and emotional. Most younger kids are not ready emotionally. I also emphasized that if there was ever a pregnancy that they should come to me and we will work things out.

As for people who are afraid to have the talk - think of consequences if you don't -- emotional scars, unintended pregnancy, STDs and AIDS.

I never officially had the "sex talk" as my family has been overtly blunt about everything at ALL times. Half the time I wondered if they had Tourettes or something. But basically I heard enough from my mom to form my own opinions about sex to to know that it is not for me right now even at 21 soon to be 22. She wasn't being all religious about it, but she was direct enough with me to tell me if I was ever to be so hot in the ass to be out there having sex, then I should be out there having a job and finding my own place too if I got pregnant. And I'm no dummy, I know there are hardly any jobs in my area and rent is affordable but with no job and with a baby, that would just be asinine.

As for telling kids about their body parts, I agree with that too. But still I think it is something that you shouldn't just teach them without letting them know that it is their private parts and needs to be not talked about so openly unless someone has touched them in a bad way or a way they weren't comfortable with and explain about that too. I think parents even if they don't fully believe in it, also need to teach kids the importance of saying NO to sexual acts they aren't ready for either. That is not to say teach them to wait til they are married for sex. But there are so many kids nowadays giving into peer pressure so much, each at age 8 and getting pregnant at 13 and what not. So really if parents don't want to deal with things like that, I think they do need to make a big deal out of their kids knowing how to say no when feeling pressured, and to respect the fact that their private parts can create other lives and its not just about their life anymore if that happens. I have tried to explain this point on another message board but I was told I have sexual hang ups about thinking it is important to teach kids this way. I don't have any kids of my own, but I refuse to be the type of parent running around and freaking out because my kid is knocked up either. And as for suggesting the child not call their privates by another name, I say that is still up to the child. Sure you can still teach them vagina and penis, but kids though they have their moments of deep intelligence, will likely still say pepe or whatever they are comfortable with calling their privates. And I believe that should be ok too. Because flipping out over the kid calling their penis by their own nickname for it is kind of silly, especially when they grow up and give it a nickname or petname anyway. But otherwise good post.

My parents well mother never had the sex talk with me,I had to learn about periods from a really bad video at the end of 5th grade. And learned about sex from movies and what other friends told me their parents told them. Sad I know,but I turned out pretty well,I guess.

My parents really never talked to me about it. I heard things at school and then learned in Family Life and Human Sexuality classes. This definitely wouldn't work for everyone, though, so the advice given is good.

I teach middle school and see kids every --whose parent have thier heads in the sand, while thier kids wander around without guidance. This is great advice.

Kids don't take sex seriously until they end up pregnant or have end up with a pregnant girlfriend... great advice.

My parents were smart, they knew I'd read anything I could get my hands on so they put the "Where Did I Come From Book" in the house for me to "find". I thought it was like some forbidden treasure I got away with when I found it. Years later I realized I'd been conned into reading it! The good new is I learned about sex without having to live through my parents giving me "the talk" *shudders*

I found out about sex on my...

I knew early on from my mother. As a single parent of an 11 yr old boy, i realy have dreaded the "talk" since i left his father 10 yrs ago, who never seems to be in the picture. I've sorta waited to see when he asks the questions to me espeacily now with 6th grade health... after reading this I may just go out and find a good book to help me talk to him one on one rather than some health class "crazy" video. Thanks...!

I too learned a lot about my period from a stupid video in 5th grade. It totally confused me, so I asked my mom for clarification. She got really scientific and biological about the whole thing. And that's how she explained sex too, as a part of biology. It really cleared things up for me and I really didn't have any problems understanding it.

She reinforced that it was between a married man and woman and I respect that to this day. I, on my own, chose to dress and act in a mature manner because I saw all the attention that girls got over being overtly sexual and I didn't want to end up that way. There's no respect in it.

I plan on enjoying sex with my future husband and I'm really looking forward to it! Good article and it will in my future when I plan on telling my kids.