4 S.A.F.E. Rules to Reduce Cyberbullying
By GALTime Parenting Pro Michele Borba, Ed.D.
REALITY CHECK: Did you know that a recent survey found that almost 70 percent of adolescents say the best way for them to be safe online is through education?
Let's face it: it is a different world. And one big crucial parenting task is to make sure that our kids learn how to be safe online. While there are dozens of talks we can have with our kids and even dozens more rules and tips we can teach, unfortunately kids say most of our glorious lessons are not remembered. When it comes to safety, it's critical to find a way for those those lessons to stick. One way is to teach kids "rules" via acronyms. In fact, many of my students and clients tell me that acronyms helped them remember an important tip not only in the "here and now," but also when they are away from the computer (or I'm not reminding them). That process is called "learning transfer"- and it's the key to helping kids acquire new habits. After all, knowing our kids can remember and apply crucial rules when we're not around guiding them is what allows us to breathe a bit easier.
Related: Why Protecting Your Teen's Online Reputation Is Critical for School
S.A.F.E. Four Critical Online Safety Rules to Teach Your Child
I teach kids the acronym, S.A.F.E. for online safety from my book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. Each letter in SAFE stands for one of the four simple rules that help kids know what to do to ward off cyberbullying. Review each rule over and over with your son or daughter until S.A.F.E. becomes second nature.
S - Stop and Don't Click. Never respond to a cyberbully-doing so usually only intensifies things. (Remember, bullies want a reaction and usually enjoy knowing you're upset, so don't give them the pleasure!) In fact, never respond to any email when you are upset or angry. Instead, count to 10, turn off the monitor, walk away from the computer, or take a deep breath, but do not click. There are no take backs. (Also, don't turn off the computer. You will lose the evidence, which you may need to prove online cyberbullying).
A -Tell An Adult. Don't keep this to yourself. Cyberybullying usually escalates and doesn't go away. Report any threat ASAP to a parent, teacher or an adult you trust. Your parent needs to get you a new account and password immediately. Even then you should always change your password periodically.
F - Filter Out Personal Information. Never ever give out personal information such as your name (or your parent's name), address, phone number, birth date, Social Security number or credit card number. Never ever exchange passwords with even your closest friend or let someone take your place at the computer and pretend to be you.
E - Save Evidence. Do not delete the text or phone message. Save the e-mail, blog, photo, or Web page. Print out copies, and show the electronic evidence to an adult. You can use it to track the source and use it as proof to stop the assault.
Here's something useful to know: A study at Clemson University found that kids often did not tell their parents about cyberbullying for fear of losing online privileges.
One study found that almost 60 percent of kids did not tell their parents when someone was abusive to them online. So do not overreact or ban your child from using the Internet altogether if you suspect your child was harassed online. Doing so may curtail your child from telling you she was victimized. After all, you want your child to feel comfortable coming to you and telling you about any safety concerns both on or off line.
YOUR TURN: How do you protect your kids? What advice do you have when it comes to recognizing and protecting against cyberbullying? Leave us a comment!
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