Last night, as my daughter ran out of the room to grab she yelled, "Mom, press pause, OK?"
"Um, I would ... if we weren't playing cards."
Did she really ask me to press pause during a game of Go Fish?
Millennials are so used to being able to control anything with the push of a button --they can "stop," and "pause," and "delete," and "restart" pretty much anything, including their toothbrushes. It makes playing a game like Go Fish in this day and age seem pretty archaic.
As a child, I recall hearing Baby Boomers wax nostalgic about watching black and white television, going to sock hops, or playing 78rpm records ... and thinking how totally obsolete those activities are to my generation. Now, I'm the one who sounds out of touch and antiquated. How did that happen? When did all my references become old school? There were so many things I did as a child that my children would currently find hilariously unhip and unnecessary.
Here are just a few things our kids will never NEED to do:
1. Ignore the B-side
2. Mail a tangible letter
3. Use all of their fingers to type
4. Learn to spell
5. Get up to turn the channel (while possibly walking across static causing shag carpets, no less)
6. Adjust the tracking
7. Blow on a video game cartridge. I still do this with scratched DVDs -- it makes my kids laugh.
8. Write notes in class
9. Get information from reference books
10. Be a part of a family decision in which you decide whether to buy a Beta or VHS player
11. Write a check
12. See #10 but sub in Atari and Colecovision
13. Take a Polaroid picture and shake it like one -- even though you weren't supposed to shake them
14. Survive with only 4 channels
15. Clap to get your lights on or off
16. Pay a fee for not reading the label that said, "Be Kind, Rewind"
17. Dial a rotary phone - or know the frustration when you accidentally rolled the wrong number
18. Borrow a quarter to make a phone call
19. Twist the cord on a phone as you nervously talked to a cute crush
20. Answer the phone every time it rang because you never knew who could be calling
21. Fill an ice tray
22. Ask a human for directions
23. Wait for their favorite song to come on the radio so they can record it
24. Watch commercials
25. Pull up the antenna on their cell phone
26. Watch a show during the actual day and time it aired
27. Manually roll down a window
28. Trade stickers
29. Skate to 70s and 80s music when it wasn't considered retro
30. Make a mix tape
31. Read a map
32. Use the Dewey Decimal System
33. Have the school nurse give you a hot water bottle for cramps
34. Use reinforcers for your loose-leaf paper (or for fake nails)
35. Make sure the 4 Food Groups are represented
36. Reach across a car to unlock a door
37. Write in cursive
38. Carry a date or address book -- and get the refills for it each calendar year
39. Put film in a camera (oh, and accidentally have the camera pop open only to render the whole roll blank).
40. Go to a Drive-in movie (and fight over who gets to lie across the back ledge of the car).
What did you do that your kids will never need to do or understand?
XO- Jenny From the Blog (Formerly, Jenny from the 8-Track)
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Jenny Isenman AKA Jenny From the Blog is the humorist behind the award winning site, The Suburban Jungle. A caffeine addicted card carrying Gen Xer, on air lifestyle expert for NBC, and columnist at Huff Po and The Stir, her goal is to you keep herself sane. Oh, and to teach dolphins to read. She is failing at both. Join the insanity on Facebook and Twitter, and Pinterest.