The Parenting Controversies that Changed the Way We Raised Our Kids in 2011

Last week, I saw a middle school aged boy standing on the corner of the street across from the school in the town I live, he was holding a sign, I pulled into the store next to his corner and when I got out I could see the sign better, It read, "I apologise to the faculty, students and parents of the middle school for bringing drugs to school, It was a terrible choice and error in judgement that I will never make again" It was cold outside he was bundled up in gloves and coat, and when I went inside I saw a cop pull up to see what was going on and the boys father step over to talk to him, the cop smiled reached in the trunk, tossed him a woven hat for the kid some extra warmth and left. As I was pulling out of the lot, I was next to the man and his son, I rolled down my window to tell him I thought what he was doing was great, the dad said, if he pulls another bonehead stunt like that again he will be out here everyday all day the whole time he is suspended.

I was beaten as a child. Belts, willow switches, razor straps, milker hoses and more. I carried the scars on my lower back long after my 4 children were born. My children were never beaten. But, I did let them know that was an option! As a Marine, biker and construction worker, they always believed me. My kids have never been in trouble with the law and come to home as often as possible.They know I'm here for them. My secret? Keep your word...If you say no telivision for a week, there is no going back. The same for promises. I'll take you to the beach...you go even if its snowing! Once they know you keep your word, good or bad. they will listen to you.

The Biblical proverb, "Spare the rod and spoil the child" has absolutely nothing to do with spanking or hitting a child. What is means is this: the rod is what a shepherd uses to guide the sheep, to keep them out of trouble, and to defend. "Sparing the rod" means withholding guidance and protection, basically letting the "sheep" run amok.

That said, a spanking - a single thwack on a bare butt with a bare, open palm, NEVER an implement, and NEVER in anger - is a necessary disciplinary tool.

No child ever died from not getting their way. Say no parents. Be a rock, not a pushover. Be a parent, not a friend.

The key seems to be everything in moderation. There is a difference between beating a child and spanking a child. My children grew up knowing that a swat on the bottom was punishment for misbehaving or running out in the street. A swat on the hand kept them from putting things in the electric sockets and possibly electrocuting themselves. Time out for most intelligent children is a waste of time, and explaining the concept of being good to a three year old is ridiculous. The Mexicans say that you don't discipline a child before they reach age six or seven, "the age of reason?" If one waits until a child is six or seven, that's the same child you see throwing a tantrum in the local shopping mall, to get what they want (not necessarily need or should have). If your neighbors and friends lock their doors and pretend not to be home when you show up with your children, you might look at the child's or children's behavior. I dislike seeing a parent verbally or physically abuse a child, but if it comes to a matter of type of discipline in public, a trip to the car and then home without whatever it is that caused the problem should not come under the heading of abuse and it would not take many applications of such a treatment, to make the child understand that the word "NO" is not a dirty word.

I agree there is a big difference between spanking and abuse as I also think that every situation is different.My son is 9 now.When he was a baby I always tried to teach him good from bad.Always tried to make him understand that there are consequences to your acts.At that age yes they do understand.I spanked him a few times when I thought it was needed, softly spanking NOT beating him up to pieces.Hes a good student, respectful and I feel always proud when I get compliments from people saying how well behaved he is.My own mother used to criticize me for being "too hard on him".Now shes the one always telling me I am doing a very good job and that shes very proud of that.As I said every situation is different and I think it should be up to the parent to spank or not.But also to remember the difference between that and abuse.

I did not get my daughter vaccinated. I refused to. My doctor told me that there was not enough data to prove what the biochemical outcome of this vaccine would be in the future. Not only that, but when I looked into Perry's position of forcing girls to be guinea pigs, I found out that he was very much in league with the manufacturer of the vaccine!
HPV is a horrible disease, and of course I want my daughter to avoid it all costs. I also don't want her to be an experiment. In another 20 years when the girls who have been vaccinated are either fine or have grown a third eye, then I think we can all make better decisions regarding this! Right now, my best bet is that if my doctor won't get HIS daughter vaccinated, neither will I. The decision is not based on sexual promiscuity or abstinence - just past FDA flops!

When I kicked my sister in the face my dad spanked me. In that case I feel as if Dad did the right thing. I thought of other typical punishments.

My Wife and I are Parents now, We will be our daughters friend after she graduates high school.

"To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences."
Sounds like how our parenting used to be decades ago when this country was functional.

Parents need to be "the enforcer" and "the loving parent". It's a hard job. Kids need you to parent them not be their buddy. If your child has never said," Your not cool". Then you are not doing your job. The need boundaries and structure. Parents need to enforce those rules. They also need to acknowledge and praise their kids when they do something right. As a parent you can't let your kid walk all over you when they are young because they will do it forever.

If you're going to breed children, then you had better plan ahead for instilling proper values into them BEFORE YOU START. Don't expect the child's teachers to do your job, or you'll end up sorely disappointed, and your children will end up God alone knows where.

Everyone is going to have their own opinions and every parent should have the say so in how they manage their household. That is as long as actual child abuse does not take place.

nameless in oklahoma! the difference in your story and alot of others is the father was there !!!! involved and disappointed in his son's choices. To be truthful, lots of children that are in trouble come from single parent homes with out the support of both parents and I don't mean beating, i mean disciplining with love and fairness ! This father obviously cares about his son taking responsibility for his actions.

the best investment you can make in your kids is your time!! Quit buying them every freaking video game that comes out and plopping them in front of the tv. Take them out for ice-cream and ask them "what's on your mind?" "what do you want to talk about?" LISTEN to your children. They aren't necessarily asking for advice; they are using you as a sounding board and just want their parents to LISTEN. And please, please, please stop being your child's friend. They need a parent who puts forth expectations and boundaries; they don't need a parent to act like their friends. There are some really good kids out there from dysfunctional homes, but those kids have taken their dysfunction and turned it around.

Oh and sometimes it is best to let kids make their own mistakes.. I've learned more from my mistakes than my mom's, dad's or grandparent's

Arsenic is good for the soul & it gives it that wonderful flavor

I read the Tiger Mom's article for History class a month ago. While this woman had very valid points regarding American culture & the way we raise our kids, she was also very extreme in other areas. I don't agree with forcing your child to play an instrument that they find boring or simply don't want to nor do I agree with the idea of pretty much degrading them when they can't get a note right. This is what she's doing to her little girl who clearly thinks that a particular song is too hard & she wants to stop to take a rest. Many American parents are permissive, but Chinese mothers(the way she described it) are very Authoritarian. Her children won't be able to make decisions for themselve & will not know how to handle simple tasks without having an overbearing mother standing over their shoulder checking to see if they're doing it "correctly". While I do believe in letting children know that having an education is important, they also need to socialize with their peers. Many Asian students I've met over the years with "Tiger Moms" aren't allowed to even have any actual friends because of their parents who fear that it will derail them off of their path to success. I believe that we can have somewhat of what Chinese mothers use & keep our own values when raising our kids. Don't call your child stupid or garbage when they get bad grades, but also don't let them walk all over you because you failed to set the rules early on.

What ever happen to good ol' trial and error with kids? Why does everything have to be a big deal. We've survived this long. I say if isn't broken don't fix it.

todays parents let their children run over them. its disgusting