1st day of schoolBefore the current school year started, I took a deep breath and told myself that even though my son was joining the ranks of the "big kids" by heading into first grade, there was no way I'd lose the sweet little angel I'd poured six years of hard work into simply because he was growing up.
I'd heard of it happening to other parents, you know, the whole "big kid school ruined my baby" thing, but I figured I'd most likely be an exception to the rule because my little guy is pretty darn awesome.
More from The Stir: 6 Things I'm Sorry for Thinking Before I Became a Mom
Well, I may have had a "not me, not MY kid" mentality back in September, but today? Yeah, I'll admit that first grade has pretty much ruined him and erased a lot of the effort I put in day after day for the past few years.
And I'm not ashamed to say that I miss the hell out of half-day kindergarten right now -- and don't even get me started on what I'd give to be able to send my son back to the land of sunshine, smiles, and sanity (a.k.a. preschool).
That being said, I'd like to issue a stern warning to all the moms out there who will send a child to big kid school next year. Here are seven ways first grade is totally screwing up my kid.
- Swearing -- Sure, I'll be the first to admit that he's picked up a choice term or two from me in the past, but some of the things big kids have said that he's repeated have still left me with my mouth wide open in complete shock. (Big kids can be pretty nasty little you-know-whats.)
- He knows what being cool means -- The other night, he told me he wants a new personality because he wants to be cool like the older kids. (Just. Shoot. Me.)
- Humiliation -- How do I put this lightly ... my mere existence on this planet is enough to embarrass him at the bus stop. (Sniff, sniff.)
- Peer pressure -- Yes, peer pressure has already kicked in. When he sees other kids behaving badly? He figures he can do it too and use the fact that they are doing it as an excuse. (For the record, we're working really hard on fixing this one.)
- He's catching on to fashion trends -- He got all bent out of shape the other night because I put fire truck pajamas on him. (Yep, my baby is gone. WTF?)
- He's run into friend issues -- I really wasn't prepared for this one quite yet, even though I knew it was inevitable. His best buds from kindergarten are all in the other first grade class, and now they don't play with him as much anymore and it hurts his feelings. (Which makes me want to cry.)
- He's holding his own -- Please tell me I'm not the only mom of a 6-year-old who is having issues with him giving me an attitude or back talking me. It's like he's growing into his own little individual with his own opinions -- and he's not afraid to argue with me AT ALL.
Lord have mercy, somebody please give me my baby back. PLEASE.
More from The Stir: 6 Baby Products That Will Make You the Laughingstock of Your Moms' Group
(And if you feel like reassuring me and telling me that I'm not a shi&%y mom, that would be much appreciated too.)
Did you notice any changes when your child went to first grade?
Image via Mary Fischer
More from The Stir: