8 Ways to Help a Shy Toddler
Around the time my first boy turned 2, he became ultra-sensitive in social situations.
Kids would come up to him right in his face, and his response would be to literally turn around and run in the other direction. He would occasionally cower under my legs, too.
He has mostly grown out of it now that he's almost 4. He'll talk to grown-ups and other kids much more readily, but I often wondered how I should deal with these types of behaviors.
What I learned is that shy kids are usually just more cautious and observant than other kids. Perhaps they notice more and don't want to barrel through moments in the ways other kids do. It might be seen as a kind of filter.
I found a bunch of interesting articles on understanding, helping and dealing with a shy toddler. Here are some tips that I learned.
1. Don't push them
If your child doesn't want to enter a social interaction or a new situation, don't make them, or at least let them go on their own time. Urging them to participate does more harm than good: the more you push, the more anxious they will become.
Related: 15 things NOT to do with your toddler
2. Rehearse social situations
Prep your toddler for what they're about to experience so they know what to expect and how to react. However, try to keep it open enough so if it doesn't go exactly as planned, your toddler doesn't retreat.
3. Use eye contact
Even if a child doesn't want to speak, you can use meaningful eye contact to gauge how they are feeling. If they are having a tough time, eye contact with you will remind your child that you are there to be with and support them.
Related: 20 simple ways to show your kids you love them
4. Positive reinforcement
If your child smiles or reacts particularly well to a certain situation, make sure they know how wonderful it is when they do, and hopefully they'll do it more often! Also take note of what circumstances made your child behave so well so you can attempt to recreate them in the future.
5. Make one-on-one playdates
When they have only one friend to deal with at a time, it makes it easier for them to be social. Don't feel pressured to make a playdate with every kid in the class, either (like, maybe steer clear of that hyperactive, ball of energy that scared your kid on the playground). Stick with the same one or two kids for a couple of months, until he/she gets to know and like them. Slowly your child will adjust to spending time with other kids.
6. Don't apologize for who they are
Your child's personality is what makes him or her unique. Embrace it, even if you may have opposite qualities. Try not to let their shyness define them and focus on things they love and are good at, whether it's reading, riding their tricycle or "helping" in the kitchen.
Related: 12 reasons why I want to be a toddler again
7. Don't label them
Once your child hears the label "shy," which unfortunately seems to come with a negative connotation, he'll only retreat further and act more shy. Try to redirect teachers and other adults from using this term.
8. Hug them close
Give your "reserved" child as much confidence as possible by reinforcing your love for them and reminding them what they do well whenever you can. Make sure they know how much you love them for exactly who they are.
- By Naomi Odes Aytur
Follow Naomi on Babble
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