Can your kids 'catch' your stress?

I am a prime example of a grown child whose mother was always unhappy and anxious. I reacted to her moods by acting out behaviors. Later, I developed depression and axniety of my own and did not undersatnd what was wrong with me until I was in my 30s. I now suffer from chronic depression and anxiety and have, thankfully, learned some effective coping stategies to manage my illness even though I have to constantly battle my illness each day.Women! Thiose of you who have emotio0nal problems, either caused by a chemical imbalance, relationship issues, other life stressors, or a combination thereof : GET PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP!!! you don't have to live that way! And you need to break the cycle that you will pass down to your children!

i have multiple people telling me multiple times i need a therapest. Hmmm, i wonder why.

Wow. So this article starts out by pointing out all the horrors that can befall your child if you are stressed and your child "catches" your stress. Allergies, obesity, mental disorders -- they're your fault, mom and dad! Then a few paragraphs later, the author says that the push to be a perfect parent is ratcheting up stress levels. Really? And where is that push coming from? Oh, that's right...from articles like this one that blame all of the problems that children have on every decision their parents make. Now there are going to be parents stressing out over whether they are making their children unhealthy by being too stressed out.

Also, it's not that you should shelter your children from the things that cause you stress. The whole point of the article is that even if you try to shelter your children from it, they will pick up on the fact that you are stressed. But they won't understand why. The point of the article seems to be that rather than trying to pretend we are not stressed and trying to shelter our children from our stress, we should work on developing good, healthy ways to cope with stress and teaching our children those same ways to cope with stress.

If you are having financial trouble (because who isn't in this economy), should you to try to hide that from your children and have them worry that you won't be able to pay the bills? Or should you let them see you prioritizing necessities over luxuries and talking to your spouse or partner about how to make a budget for the household? If you are stressed out by a big deadline at work, is it better for you to pretend that nothing is wrong when you're working late every night and feeling short-tempered? Or is better for them to see you working hard to meet a deadline so they can do the same things when they have a test or homework at school?

It's not possible to keep kids away from stress. They will be stressed about things in their own lives now (a hard class at school, a fight with a friend) and when they are adults. The best thing is to show them good ways to handle stress so they know they can overcome problems they face.

Keep blaming the parents for their flaws. Wait until you're parents of your own. This article is typical of why parents stress out. Our society as a whole coddles the children and throws the parents to the meat grinder. We are not perfect, but we try our best. But when you're telling them 20 times to stop doing the same things, and they do it to test you over and over and over again, then let me see how patient you are. We know we stress out, but we try our best. How about articles on kids who listen to their parents all the time and HELP deesclate parents' stress level?

My mom is one of those always-on-the-verge-of-a-breakdown-about-everything people and has been since I can remember. I CERTAINLY was stressed as a kid. She had passed a lot of her anxiety on to me by the time I was nine. Later on in high school I was very depressed, and looking back now it's no wonder why. I love my mother, but she wasn't the healthiest person to be around as a child.

I aree totally with this, that stress is picked up by children. It's also picked up by others around you. (At least this has been my experience.) In fact I think you can feel it long distance from someone close to you. On the other hand it can take on a more sinister aspect; it can be picked up by someone inside you.

When I was unknowingly expecting my 2nd child, I had a love relationship with another person that was tearing me apart emotionally and lead to the fracture of my personality and that of the other person involved. Little did I know that the child I gave birth to would later become seriously emotionally ill . I really believe that carrying this child during that time of extreme and unresolved anguish led to her having an unstable life. When I was feeling like I was dying on the inside from what I was going through, my unborn child was being changed forever from chemicals that certainly must have been circulating within me then. My first child was happy and mentally stable always. It's something I have thought about for a long time, and wondered if psychologists had ever considered this as a cause for mental illness of unknown origin.

How many miserable couples stay together "for the kids" ? I could feel the massive tension in my household for years & was actually relieved when they split. Thankfully, my parents NEVER badmouthed each other & continued to co-parent & support each other for my sake. Sadly, my ex husband couldn't do that, he openly hated me for leaving him (despite his drug & alcohol abuse) & openly spoke badly of me to our son even blaming his failure to pay child support (a whole $300 per month) on me & my greed. Now my son displays aggressive & hostile behavior & interaction, he claims to love me so much, tattooed my initials over his heart & yet speaks horribly to me any time he disagrees with me. This would be "conditioned & environmental" behavior. Do your kids a favor, keep your marriage private, split if your not happy & don't involve them in your disagreements with your ex, otherwise they are just helpless victims.

We worry about children growing up too quickly, we worry about exposing our children to situations, we worry about putting too much pressure on our kids; and then we wonder why they kill themselves over video games, can't socialize, and fail to leave home and get lives of their own. Childhood is not to be preserved for as long as possible, it's not a time to be pampered and indulged, it's the time when children learn to be adults. We shouldn't shelter children, we should teach them! Stress and bad things happen, kiddos, here's how you deal with it; not, the world is a land of marshmallow treats and nothing bad ever, ever happens.

Yes, my mom was a stress case and so was I until I ditched her A$$ ... she can suffer alone ... does it to herself and others around her unnecessarily.

So we now have to stress out about our stress? Can we just be honest human beings instead and give ourselves permission to feel the natural emotions that are inspired by living in the modern world? Maybe if we just overthink it some more we can become the superhumans that we are supposed to be.

What an absolute crock of sh!t article.

This article ignores two very basic and critical aspects of child development that play a factor in child stress levels.

First, we learn in human growth and development 101 that children are very resilient and like "wet cement". Children are capable of adapting to their environment in ways that adults can not comprehend. Most children cope very well in high stress environments. It's true that high stress levels that are extended for long periods of time can certainly impact children in a negative way, however, it's important to remember that children can naturally cope much better than adults can.

Second, this article ignores children personality types. Some children have personalities and a genetic make up that makes them more susceptible to stress. Other children can more easily brush off stress and naturally find healthy ways to cope.

Stress is a part of life. Yes, I agree that mindfulness and meditation are important factors to help reduce stress, however, I think that articles like this only serve to compound the guilt that parents feel about situations that are beyond their control. We need education not admonishment.

Well, I guess all the other problems that stress adults or parents need to be concluded worldwide. Otherwise it is less likely that children will "cured" of their anxiety and stress and all of the things that this article says they're affected by. Such is life and it is the new experience. Everyone's parents are stressed. Look at the times? Everyone overlooking the important things of life. Surviving because of money and capital gain... We should just leave all that behind and adapt to and adopt a new way of living. Living. Surviving. Not stressing. Let our kids go back to being kids and having the development and general happiness as children more than 50 years ago.

I have a woman in my life who put her ex-husband and their children through hell for four years after their divorce. She seemed to spend her spare time thinking of horrible things to do to him, believing the entire time that she was justified in seeking revenge, she even claimed she was a Christian and acted in what she thought was 'God's will'. All the while her poor children were stuck in the middle, being used as pawns, and being stuck with a mother who was bent on revenge and was angry all the time.
Now, all three children have various emotional and physical issues. The oldest one is obese and has issues with breaking toys and misbehaving,in general. The middle child has severe emotional problems; being withdrawn from others most of the time, unable to hold conversations with other children or adults and also have issues with lashing out. At one point he took his frustrations out on his mother's car AND has even beaten on his sisters during his tantrums. The youngest child has gotten it the worst, with severe emotional issues, she cries much of the time. Her brain development seems to to have been affected a great deal. She acts as though she is mildly retarded, and s far below the average intelligence of children her age. All three children are sick, constantly, it seems one of them always has some sort of ailment.
This article really hit home as I am a firm believer that children who are victim to emotionally disparaging environments are going to develop emotional problems as well as health problems. A happy kid is a healthy kid! It's too bad, we all have a choice on whether to be happy, or not. I wish more people would be thankful for what they have, look at the positive aspects of their life and love their kids enough to move past difficult things such as divorce.

my comment has nothing to do with the story .. although I firmly believe it's true ... I am just frustrated with so many of these sites lately offering something and we go to it ... and nothing ... whatever we are supposed to see or hear isn't there ... like the giggles of the babies on the right hand column ... not there

My children know when something is wrong with me even when I try to hide it. I am sorry about this and wish my kids couldn't see it. But I am afraid that in today's society the way that it is with finances and everything else going on, it is hard to remain "Stress Free". This is not logical nor is it reality. It is tough that kids have to see this and deal with it but it is a fact of life and sometimes it can not be contained or controlled.

Can your kids 'catch' your stress? in short YES!!!!!

Kids should have stress, it builds character. They learn how to deal with it at a young age. Keeps them from turning to drugs when they get older.

Ever hear that saying that the best thing a Dad can do for his children is love their mother??? I believe it goes both ways and here is an example of how caring for your marriage is so important to your children. Even more importantly you can't say you would do anything for your child and then treat the other parent like crap...