Gearing up for a fight (red eye left in on purpose!)
My six-and-a-half year old has a possible terminal case of diarrhea of the mouth.
The past few weeks have been rough around our house. It seems no matter what I do, it set's Irene off. The other day, I committed the big sin of turning the radio off because Irene was in the back seat of the car singing a different song. She started screaming at me to turn the radio back on. When I pointed out that she was singing a different song, not the one on the radio, she started to scream louder.
Our conversation went something like this:
"Turn it back ooooonnnnnnn"
"I'm not going to turn it back on until you ask me nicely Irene."
"Arg pharph snarrfff NOW"
"Honey, I can't understand you, but I don't think that was asking nicely"
Scream, sob, scream
"I'm sorry Irene, I am not going to turn the radio on. Take a deep breath and calm down."
"Irene. That's not very nice"
"YOUNEVERDOANYTHINGNICEFORME. YOUNEVERDOWHATIWANT. YOUAREHATEFUL"
Parenting is so much fun.
The sad thing is, that was not the worst of the week. That was just the beginning. We had many more exchanges like this one. I would say "no" to something and Irene would collapse into a sobbing heap, screaming about how mean I am. Her favorite things to say are: "you hate me" and "nobody loves me".
Of course, Irene saves her best material for dinnertime. Our once adventurous eater is now a typical picky eater. Kraft Mac N' Cheese is the only thing I know she will eat. There are a few things I make that she likes, but they are limited. My husband and I are growing tired of having our food choices held hostage by our daughter.
I have tried making things she likes, with minimal twists. Sometimes this results in her gaging at the table and spitting the food out. Other nights, we get that lovely trick plus her mouth.
The other night, I made a Mac N' Cheese with sweet corn. The main ingredients were noodles, cheese and corn. All of those are on the Irene approved list of foods. Irene dipped a spoon in it, announced she didn't like it and sulked off. When it was time to go down to bed, she announced she was hungry. I told her she could eat the Mac N' Cheese.
"I HATE that Mac N' Cheese"
"I'm sorry you feel that way. The kitchen is closed, so that is what I am offering."
"I can't eat that, it was AWFUL."
"Irene… you didn't even taste it, and that is really not a nice thing to say."
"YOUARESOMEANMAKINGMEEATSOMETHINGTHATDISGUSTING. IT. IS. DISGUSTING!!!"
Ah. The lovely words my daughter speaks to me. Nothing but love there.
When a verbal assault is no where in sight, she is a true angel and joy to be around
I know she doesn't mean it. I do my best not to let it get to me, but some days, that is really really hard. I try not to lower myself down to her level. I try not to raise my voice to meet hers.
I try, but I don't always succeed.
I have looked for a pattern in these outbursts and have found a few commonalities:
- She is tired. Not much of a surprise here. Tired children do not usually make the best choices.
- A major change is about to happen. Ever since her brother's exciting arrival, Irene has had issues adjusting to change. The last time she was this nasty was right at the end of the school year. Now we are in the last week of a six-week summer camp so big changes are afoot.
- She is speaking to her mother. That's right. My sweet little girl saves all of her vitriol for me. Her daddy is spared being subjected to and being the subject of her verbal assaults.
There is not much I can do to avoid these triggers.
So, I just have to find ways to live with the outbursts - right? It's not like I can cure her of this possible terminal disease?
What do you do when your kids suffer from diarrhea mouth?
More from Melissa at: http://talesoftheantipreemie.com