A Correlation in the Change of "parenting".....Obesity And Thank You Notes
http://undoingrelianceproject.blog.com/2012/01/04/a-correlation-in-the-change-of-parenting/
Both articles are featured with in this link and below.
http://money.msn.com/family-money/article.aspx?post=71144ae2-5529-42fb-a074-a40e8f4f8302
Looking and reading the above two articles, the first about obesity in children, the second about the lack of thank you cards being sent, you think what do these two thing have in common?
Quite simply, parenting; responsible parenting.
Below is my comment (Wicked Frankly) from the first article on obesity.
When did we stop parenting!?!?! Parenting consists of more than bringing a child in to the world and doting on their every whim until they can go off in the world alone. If your child is heavy, even a little bit or appears that they are starting to age, but not lose the "baby fat" start removing prepackaged foods from the house (fruit snacks, lite or reg. chips and crackers, juice, 100 calorie snacks). And tell them no; When they say they are hungry after you fed them 45 min ago- they are just bored, find them something to do or do something with them. If your child has an allergy or becomes diabetic, make it so dinners become an exploration for the whole family, this equals family time, taste bud development, awareness of nutrients, or nutrients you need then to replace, and about the importance of taking care of ones self. You would give the child the tools to independently make their own good choices later in life. If a parent truly wants to take the time to help their child, what they will find is it will help themself(ves) and the family dynamic. I am a single mother, a vegetarian, and have a child who is limited on dairy intake and because of a dental appliance cannot eat very much hard or raw foods, so I read every label, i preserve foods (freeze, or boil and jar) from the farmers market so we can eat them in the winter. I understand the challenges here. The main argument here, the biological science, people need to remove the emotion, and look at the damage they are doing to their body and to the voices of body function that indicate when you are hungry, tell you when you are tired, ill, or are lacking vitamins.
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As for the second article, on thank you notes- i did not post a comment, however that does not mean i am with out them. As a child my mother sat down with each of us after the reciept of gifts and we wrote out thank you notes. Sometimes we would crab about it, but my mother stayed firm. She said, if you want to take the gift, that someone took the time to put together for you, you should take the time to thank them and show them you truly appreciate it. We did not have to do it for everyone, just the people that were not present for the party, or for Christmas that sent gifts in. As i grew, my mom would make it fun for us. We went out, picked out our own cards/stationary, and stickers. She had our own address labels made and it became a more personal thing for at least me. When i was 15 or 16 i received my first thank you card. It was from a child that i had sponsored through my church for a Christmas gift program. I was one of about 3 that had gotten one of the 20 kids in my confirmation class. I then understood. I was about 15 or 16, i took my own money i worked by babysitting for, and i sacrificed what i could have spent it on for the good of a child. And the child took the time to hand write me a card to thank me. Those are the kind of lessons i think many parents hope their children get to substantiate their parents "parenting."
I have two wonderful girls. They are gracious and are thankful for everything they have, and all of the people who are in their life. They too write thank you notes. As a parent, who has sent them to multiple b-day parties, sent gifts out and the like, have maybe received 5 or 6 thank you cards in response. My eldest who is 11, asked me if that bothered me. I told her yes and no. Yes it bothers me that, and as like the article stated, i do not know if they got it, and if they did they did not acknowledge it at all (even a phone call would have been fine!), but no, in the fact that maybe they were not taught any better. Another lost manner.
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What am i trying to get at here…..
We bring children in to this world- some planned, some not so planned, and then expect them to just survive. Instant filling of a void/gratification has taken over what could be valuable lessons in responsibility, independence, education, and manners. I have heard every excuse in the book, but my favorites are "we just don't have time" and "if I tell my child they have to do this it will be a battle."
IF you are a parent, you are a parent, a mentor, a responsible guardian, a teacher, a role model…NOT A FRIEND OR A BEST BUDDY OR A SECURITY BLANKET.
Fighting with your kids will not harm them. It will in fact stimulate thought, emotional constructions, responses both hindering and beneficial, tools, and an emphasis on working through conflict for a greater good, and teach manners and respect along the way.
IF you have a fat kid, you can see they are fat. Don't deny it. You might as well hand them a smoke and tell them to have at it, as that will at least put them out of their misery faster. By not helping them, by not helping them help themselves learn to be healthy, you as the parent are killing your child. BY not saying no, because you do not want to deal with the crying and the screaming, and the tantrum, and the struggle, you may as well hand them their death on a plate. Ignorance in this case is not bliss. It equals death. You will out live your child. As a parent , you never want to bury your baby. Make the time to help them, their life depends on it. They are worth every second of the fight. And if to you, the parent, they are not then you should never have had the privilege to have them at all.
