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    A Dad's Rules for Dating His Daughter

    By Babble.com | Parenting – Fri, Feb 10, 2012 6:26 PM EST

    A dad's rules for dating his daughterA dad's rules for dating his daughterA few years ago, I came across a funny article that laid down rules from the perspective of a father to the prospective boyfriend of a daughter. I've tried to modernize the rules a bit and make them more appropriate.

    I'm very tempted to have this set of rules available when my daughters start dating. Unless, of course, I lock them all away in a tower. That evil witch who put Rapunzel high away from the world and prevented her from coming down was actually pretty smart. But until I build a 5-story high stone tower, I need to have a set of rules that all young men wanting to date my daughter must follow.


    No honkingNo honking
    1. No honking
    You WILL get out of your car, walk to the front door, ring the doorbell and wait patiently for my princess to be ready. If you honk, you won't be picking anything up.

    No touchingNo touching
    2. No touching
    You WILL admire my daughter from afar, and only from the neck up. You may not touch her in front of me. If you forget this simple rule, I will remove the body part that touches her, and if your eyes linger below the neckline, I will remove them as well.

    Related: Back off, moms! 7 places dads don't want to hear your advice

    No No
    3. No "pants on the ground"
    General Larry Platt put this so articulately on American Idol. "Pants on the Ground, looking like a fool with your pants on the ground". You are totally welcome to come to our house with your baggy pants hanging down and underwear showing, but understand that I will go and get my nail gun and re-fasten them to your waist.

    Use the barrier methodUse the barrier method
    4. Use the barrier method
    Recent news has said that sex without the "barrier method" can potentially kill you. To clarify this regarding my daughter and sex - I'm the barrier and I WILL kill you.


    No small talkNo small talk
    5. No small talk
    While people say that it is important for there to be conversation between me and the person dating my daughter, I only require one thing to be talked about and that is when you will have my daughter back after the date. Please understand, there is only one acceptable answer - "Early!".

    Related: Public places I don't want to see your kids (or mine!)

    Date until she's finishedDate until she's finished
    6. Date until she's finished
    Even though you might be the most popular guy out there, the only way that you can date other girls is if it is ok with my daughter. You will continue dating her until she is finished with you. And remember: If you make her cry, I will make YOU cry.



    Wait patientlyWait patiently
    7. Wait patiently
    As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not act impatient. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car or mow my lawn?

    - By Michael Sheehan

    For 3 more rules for dating this dad's daughter, visit Babble!

    MORE ON BABBLE

    What the? The 10 weirdest products for dads
    15 things I can get away with because I have kids
    10 signs that scream "I'm a dad!"
    A mom's rules for dating her son
    10 ways I want my daughter to act like a princess


    Family Kitchen | Babble.com    Stay connected. Follow Babble on Facebook and Twitter.

     

    12 comments

    • Switchrat
      Switchrat  •  Suwanee, Georgia  •  2 months ago
      Good luck having a daughter without a dating life.
    • Tess
      Tess  •  2 months ago
      None of our children were and will not be allowed to date until they are 16 years of age and even then, one of us will be cleaning our guns when the boys show up and we hope our boys date girls whose fathers do the exact same thing. Yes we are Southern and there is nothing better than that to prove to them they will respect your daughter or we will have words with you.
    • Emmi
      Emmi  •  Indianapolis, Indiana  •  3 months ago
      One of the very few things my dad ever told me that made sense:
      "If you are not worth it to him to get out of the car, walk to door, ring the bell, and shake my hand, then he is not worthy of your time and attention!"

      Also, chivalry is not dead, we just need to stop confusing it with chauvinism!
      • Dubs
        Dubs 3 months ago
        Tell that to the gender feminists.
    • Sarah
      Sarah  •  3 months ago
      Why is respect a one way street only with only the "princess" deserving of it? I don't think so. Keep your "princess" and I'll keep my son away from her. And yes, I am the mother of a son and a daughter and respect is a two way street.
      • Dubs
        Dubs 3 months ago
        Exactly, well spoken.
      • life_is_good2010
        life_is_good2010 3 months ago
        I don't think you get the humor in this post. Just saying...
      • Tess
        Tess 2 months ago
        I think you got it perfectly, we raised a daughter and have two sons at home. Our boys know they will respect any young lady they date or they will know our wrath as their parents and we expected no less from the young men who dated our daughter years ago.
    • life_is_good2010
      life_is_good2010  •  3 months ago
      I am a daddy's girl, and I know that my dad feels the exact same way. I love this list, I love how my father wants the very best for me. I deserve it. I have standards that will be met. Just sayin'. And for all you haters out there who don't like this article: 1) Its a joke. 2) I'm not a princess because I have standards. I'm a girl who deserves respect. 3) When I go over to his house, I will be respectful to his parents, I will dress appropriately and I will do what I can to make good impressions. :)
      • Switchrat
        Switchrat 2 months ago
        And you won't hold his hand, because touching someone you care about innocently is an affront to some people.
    • Craftygirl
      Craftygirl  •  Seattle, Washington  •  3 months ago
      I'll happily post these rules in my house when the time comes
      • Switchrat
        Switchrat 2 months ago
        Good luck having rebellious daughters then.
    • Marion
      Marion  •  Jacksonville, Florida  •  3 months ago
      Its a joke people....
    • Anouk
      Anouk  •  3 months ago
      All of these rules have nice sentiment, but if a teenager never gets broken up with, they won't be able to deal with rejection as an adult..
    • Fatima
      Fatima  •  3 months ago
      LOL, my husband and I have already decided to accompany my daughter on her dates. But I like these rules!
    • KP
      KP  •  3 months ago
      Anyone who thinks their daugher is a "princess" is obviously raising a stuck-up, snobby witch no one will want to date.
    • kokoro
      kokoro  •  Maribor, Slovenia  •  3 months ago
      Good luck enforcing those. You are so going to fail!! Hahaha!

      1. No honking: after he sees what a a-hole the Dad is, honking is the only thing he'll do.
      2. No touching: hahahaha! Reality check: she wants him to touch her...
      3. No "pants on the ground": yeah, like he cares. It's just pants. Really. It's no big deal.
      4. The barrier method: hahahaha! No barrier has EVER worked. If they really want to, they'll just work around it. Nothing you can do.
      5. No small talk: small talk is actually polite so maybe the Dad could learn some manners.
      6. Date until she's finished (with you): hahahaha! This one's my favorite. The way this is going he'll probably dump HER for being a spoiled little princess.
      7. Wait patiently:Making a guy wait for more than 10 min is flat out RUDE. If she knows what time he's picking her up, she'd better be ready or he has the right to leave. Changing the oil, mowing the lawn?? Slavery was abolished in the 19th century. But he might do it if you ask him really nicely and pay him for it.
    • REB
      REB  •  Port Orange, Florida  •  3 months ago
      I concur. LOL
     Post a comment

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