Do we say "No!" too much?

NO TO THE MOM in this picture and NO TO SHINE for using this picture. Bumbo, which is the chair the child is sitting in is not safe to put on an elevated surface such as a table, because a child can tip the chair over and fall to the floor. The product was recalled about a year ago because several children were injured that way. The Bumbo is now back on the market with a warning not to use on an elevated surface.

I raised 4 kids. I said 'no' once and redirected their attention. If they did it again I repeated 'no' along with a swat on the diaper or hand and again redirected their attention. If they tried it a 3rd time, I repeated 'no' and put them in their playpen with no toys and walked away. Eventually they got the message.
This also works on my 2 grandbabies.

I think "no" isn't used often enough. Or, at least not that the kid takes it seriously. They just keep asking until mom gives in. That is why we have to say "no" so much. When I was a kid, and I raised my daughter the same way - if I have to say "no" more than once, you get swatted on the butt, or another punishment. Pretty soon, once you say "no" they know you mean it and don't ask again.

I avoided the use of "no" w/ my toddler simply to avoid that becoming a standard response for her to try to use against me. People wonder why toddlers just starting to speak run around saying "no no no no no" to everything you tell them to do or ask them, well - if they learn from hearing what did they hear you saying to them. And lets be real you have to tell a toddler some version of "no" alot just to keep them safe.

if you say no and mean it, then you can never say it too much and mean it. If you say no and don't mean it then you are always saying it too much

As stupid as it may sound I say Mommy said no or Daddy said no. I don't have any illusions that I'm not constanly saying no, I have twins that are going to be two in a week and a 4 year old as well, I could almost swear that I whisper the word No in my sleep. As for do I use it too much...NO. I realize that many people think it unkind but NO followed by the child I 'm addressings name works better than anything else. I'm also go with IT MAKES BLEEDING, for things that hurt, that one makes them stop NOW.

yes cuz i tell my 18 month old no and she will turn around and look at me and say no no no no no

No is good to use sometimes, but I don't repeat it more than two times, on the third she gets a time out and she understands better this way.

If your toddler keeps on saying "no, no, no" to you, then you use it to much. It is a very easy word for a child to say. Children who say "NO" at the age of 1 1/2 dont really understand the word. I know parents believe they do but when your child says No and ask them if they want there dolly, they will say NO.
Most child care providers try not to use that word because you will have an entire class saying NO to everything.

In our house, NO means NO! Do not keep asking because the answer will not change. Maybe when my son was a wee little tot and just learning the meaning of NO, I may have switched it up and used other words, like don't touch, no sir, HOT, etc. But now that he's old enough to know the meaning of NO period...I will say NO, sometimes along with an explanation so he'll understand why, because I know after I say "No", he'll say "why". But in the end, NO MEANS NO! No questions asked and we do not cave!

Toddlers have very little reasoning capability. That is why they will take no for an answer temporarily and then return to doing whatever is was you didn't want them to do ten minutes later. If you buy into the idea that discipline should only be done through time-out or only through gentle verbal cues, then your kid will eventually be one of THOSE terrors that drive everybody crazy in public with temper tantrums and talking over you, etc.

Basically, "Sweetie, don't pull kitty's tail because it hurts kitty and kitty will hurt you." is a level of reasoning and logic that most children under 3 will not understand. You are better off saying no and taking their hand to teach them to pet kitty nicely. Or, for that matter, the second time the kid pulls the cat's tail, let the cat swat and/or scratch the kid. Sounds cut-throat, I know-- but most cats will only swat once or twice before they run away and the child will probably never pull the cat's tail again. In fact, the cat's method is a thousand times more effective than Mom repeating NO over and over and over again.

So the grandmother who takes a step-by-step method ( No. Then No and a diaper or hand swat. No and time-out), is more right than most of you. It's called aversion therapy-- because the child experiences something unpleasant to them when they have done something they are no supposed to. It teaches them there are consequences for actions and THAT is one of the MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS a child can learn. And they should learn it early.

I may have read this wrong, but I thought the point of the article was, the way we say no. For example do we explain to our children (depending on age) why the answer is "no", as in "If you pull on kitty you and kitty will get hurt" in a soft tone. Or do we learn to just spat no when we see our child going near the cat. After the 100th time to the grogery store, you know your kid will ask for that candy, so do you fiercly say no so they stop asking? Or do you try to keep explaing to them about how bad they are for you, or that you're about to have dinner?

How many times do you have to say it before you spank? If you say it 10 times and never spank a butt or swat a hand, then you do overuse it.

For crying outside...a child can't understand a long explanation of why they can't do something. Just tell them no. Too many parents want to negotiate with their children. Who's the parent anyway? It's your job to tell them no, get over it.

NO

Just because the kid is using the word doesn't mean you use it too much. Maybe it just doesn't have any consequences behind it if they don't obey. Say it once and mean it. I accidentally let the s- word fly in front of my friend's 20 month old and she still repeats it back to me, from just one time. At least it sounds more like "sit" when she says it. I'm in the babysitter hall of shame for that one.

"Is using "no" over and over damaging in any way?"

Not being a child psychologist I don't know how it affects the kid but hearing constant and repeatative "no, no, no" from mothers in public seriously messes with MY hearing.

Quickly gets to the point where I don't care what the kid is doing (as long as he/she isn't about to hurt themselves). I just want you to SHUT UP!

I would think that No is the simplest and most effective way to get the point across in such a way that is understood by all children... but that's just my opinion.

my niece is only 1 and she already says no

"That's owie???" I always use stupid phrases like that in my adult life....what in the heck is wrong with saying something intelligent to the child - and speak to him/her like he/she is an actual intelligent human being?

How about "DANGER"? Worked for us every time. The word "danger" stopped our kids in their tracks. And it's an actual intelligent word that conveys alot in one word....

Saying "no" is an important part of a parent's job. Too many kids these days are overindulged - Mommy & Daddy don't want to do the hard work and be PARENTS - they want to be Scooter's "pal, buddy, friend". But the thing is - we don't get that luxury until we're done raising them. We have to be the bosses, the protectors - the advocates. Not their friends.

I will agree, it's a good thing to use other phrases at times for toddlers/preschoolers - at the very least it can broaden their vocabulary. But no is simple and to the point.