Do you go to church – just for the kids?

Going to a church for the kids is a good thing because if a child is never taken to church when they're young how will they be able to have their own opinion on what they actually think of going to church, religion and God?

I've always had a desire to go to church because I like the teachings of Jesus, to love each other, be kind, etc., but invariably any time I've given it a try I eventually felt stifled, as though it was more important to present an image of correctness than to let your human flaws show through. Plus, besides the feeling of acceptance and love, I assumed I would feel, it seems that cliques are pervasive, there is a hierarchy with the walls (based on economic status), etc. all these things that are definitely not on the Jesus approval list. Then there is the condemnation of those that don't "fit in". Funny how "Christians" have always been the ones to run me AWAY from attending.

we stopped going to church the day our pastor chastised out then 6 yr old in front of the congregation after services over a question she asked. She had seen the christmas displays around town and asked, if jesus was older than santa, since she had seen a display of santa praying over baby jesus. the pastor, loud enough that almost everyone turned and heard, said she must be an idiot to not know that jesus is obviously older than santa since santa didnt really exist. we stopped going to church that sunday. our daughter wept for being yelled at and for being called an idiot.

So many people don't understand -- it's not about "going to church", it's about a relationship with the Creator of the universe. What is important is what is in your heart, not sitting in a sanctuary on Sunday morning. That being said, if you do have a spiritual connection with God, you want to be with others who believe in Him also, so that you can encourage each other to live out that faith in everyday life. Christians are not perfect, we just know that we can be forgiven. Please don't let someone's misguided idea of religion keep you from finding the truth. God is real -- please don't judge Him by imperfect, misguided people.

For a long time, I did not have time for church...kids, family, life. I felt as long as I believed that was all that mattered.
Growing up, my single mom commented once that you should "try many on to see what fits you". Lutheran seems to fit her. Southern Baptist seems to fit my sister and me. I am still trying it on.
Now my children were never made to go when they were small, but they are teens and I think they need more understanding and peer interaction. So, I make them go on the sundays they are with me.
They do need to understand others beliefs and customs. If they find God along the way, that would be great.

What about going for your spouse? I feel lost and feel like an outsider (I've been told I put myself on the outside) at times at my church, I go for my husband most of the time.

My mother dragged us all to church whenever she decided we weren't turning out to be The Cleavers or her own mother mentioned how nice it would be if we went to church. Her mom used to make them all go to punish my grandfather when he was hung over on Sundays. I really and truly hate that side of the family.

I was raised a practicing Catholic and when my daughter was born I had a very negative experience with a priest who wouldn't baptize her so I stop attending Church. I no longer viewed it as I once did but more a money making industry that didn't care, at the time, both my husband and I couldn't afford to pay a large amount for our child to receive her first sacrament. My daughter was raised like myself with good values and morals. What my parents taught me I passed on to my daughter. And like me, she attended Catholic school, private high school, and Catholic college. My daughter is a practicing Catholic. She understands my thoughts and views and I've never influenced her with any negativity I may have regarding my experience. My husband I were not married by the Church and although I first thought this may have been the reason for this priest not baptizing our daughter, it wasn't. You see, when my husbands sister went with her husband to baptize their lil girl born a month before mine, they had no problem paying the amount of money being asked. Their daughter was baptized. Like us they weren't married through the Catholic Church yet were able to afford it.

So those who don't take their kids to church aren't influencing their view on God/Christianity? Be reasonable people, not taking your kids to church is just as much a statement of belief as not taking them. They'll figure that out too. One way or the other, you are going to push your beliefs on them. Some push going to church and others push not going. You're still forming their values.

"Morals are from the Bible?" No, they aren't. My adult children are very moral individuals, and I would be surprised if either one of them had even opened a Bible in their entire life. If you want to take your children to church, that's your business as a parent, but understand that a decent home, and great hearts make children into good people. You may use a book and a church as a supplement, but if their spiritual diets are good enough, they don't need a vitamin.

This is my story and I'm only putting it out there because I have a tough time with this and may need some advice. I have a 13 year old child, who I adore dearly. I grew up Catholic my entire life, because my mother is a music minister. I've always felt that this Religion was beautiful. My child attended mass every Sunday and even attended a Catholic private school from K-5th grade. We moved to California a few years ago and unfortunately I've been through some rough patches, but it has not stopped me from losing my faith. When I say faith, I mean that I have faith that all things are possible through the grace of whomever you wish to believe in. My son and I move in with some family members. In the beginning it was great! His Godparents were going to be a part of his life. Then I started noticing that my aunt was very controversial when it came to religion. She started correcting me and would argue with me about Religion, which is something I didn’t want any part of. Growing up talks about Religions with my family has always been interesting, and we were able to communicate for hours about positive things. I mentioned to my aunt that in order to be right with God first, it starts from the heart by accepting people for who they are, no matter what their beliefs are. Then it came to the point where she wanted me to attend every church function with her and if I didn't go and stop what I was doing just to go, she would give me the silent treatment. She even went to the extent of telling my son, if we didn’t go she’d be mad at us. In the beginning I would apologize and do what she asked me to do. Then I started thinking, wait a minute I'm a grown women who could make decisions for myself and my child. I then started to protest in my own way by not allowing her to have her way. It has now angered her to the point that she doesn't invite us places anymore and sort of rubs it in my face. I do feel left out and so does my child, but regardless of what a person believes, does not mean you should treat them poorly. I believe God starts in the home by loving your family members first. I still say good morning and hi how are you, but she is very distant and has been for over a month. It's only when she can have it her way with me, she is nice to me and invites us places. Just the other day, I was sitting down having a conversation with my other aunt and my other aunt, whom I live with started saying to my other aunt out of the blue, that it's sad that parents don't take their children to church and walked off. I felt really hurt. I started thinking, what if I was a Buddhist, Muslim, etc, would she not accept me? What I feel it comes down to, is accepting all people for who they are no matter what they believe. Now every time I think of church, all I can think of is my aunt and her judgmental ways. It's sad to say, but I see it as a negative, because of her preaching, and views on abortion, it's getting to political and I feel I want no part in it. Deep down inside I don't truly mean this, I still have my faith, I still pray and my heart wants to help others. I honestly rather be at a soup kitchen feeding the homeless. I'd rather be in a hospital visiting the sick or the hungry, and rather than attending church for my own self gratification, I’d rather do for the least of my brothers and sisters. I cry almost every day because all I want is to be accepted and loved, no matter what. With all that I've been through these last 2 1/2 years, I still have my sanity, faith, hope, and courage to know that all things are possible. Today my child attended mass with his little buddy. I will never deny my child his faith or beliefs. I will allow him to grow into a beautiful human being, who is compassionate, kind, and treats all people equal. Right now I'm trying to clear my head and figure out what works for me. Thanks for this post and for also listening!

Trust me. My parents go to church because they like it. In fact, it got to the point that for years, and possibly still today, I believed my parents loved church more than me. I mean, they spend nearly the whole day there. And three times everyday, my mother prays to this religious tape. That takes up most of her day. It is thanks to them that I revoke the religion they are so fond of. I try my hardest, but when you have parents as devoted as mine, how can you not get disgusted at the religion you were raised in. Now I have my own beliefs and am very happy with them. Which is why I hide my contempt so much from my parents, because, in the end, I know that's how they feel about their religion. But still, I am not going to baptize my child or any other religious act my parents forced upon me. Instead, I will teach my future child about all the religions out there, even atheism (though I guess that's not really a religion), and tell her/him that when s/he finds the one that makes them happy, I will support her/him all the way. Plus, I think it will make my child understand other cultures better.

from the day i was born up until i was finally able to give an emphatic NO, i was raised in the catholic church. Baptized, first communion, confirmation. i hated every minute of it. It was nothing but a chore to me then, and it still is to me now. I don't need a supposedly benevolent entity holding my hand. I will allow my kids to make their own decisions about religion, when they feel like it. I will expose them to each and every religion and make their own minds up. i consider myself an agnostic, and nothing will probably change that.

"Let's go to church so the kids can have a moral foundation" is a losing strategy. It doesn't work. Kids are smart enough to figure out that it's just a game to the parents, not based on a genuine faith. And church is not enough to raise kids as Christian kids. It takes a family commitment including church, family prayer and Bible-reading, and a general lifestyle of living for Jesus Christ in every area of life, by his grace. It's the parents' example which sets the deepest moral foundation. You can't just be secular in most of your life, add some church time on top, and expect the kids to grow up Christian.

I was once a very creative, curious child that was interested in everything from Buddhism to reality and consciousness. Then I had Christianity crammed down my throat and the brainwashing caused me so much psychological trauma that I became reserved and started to suffer from OCD. Luckily, I abandoned the church at 18 and realized I had to find my own way spiritually. If I ever have kids, I could never bring myself to force any kind of religion on them after my own traumatic experience with it. They would be free to believe in whatever they choose.

I hope that people wake up to realize how detrimental ALL forms of religion are and that they need to break free from fear of an invented eternal damnation. Seek out the truth without fear and you will break free. Dont be afraid to read books on the metaphysical attributes of our universe, seek out the spiritual within yourself during meditation. the truth IS out there for those willing to look for it. I was a christian for 28 years until i found the truth.. it was scary and humbling and the most amazing thing i have ever experienced. i now am happier, healthier and my mind is my own. Please come over to the side of reason and intellect.
"My mind is my own religion" - Thomas Paine

My parents took me to church, but in my church there was a childrens church in the basement. I loved going to church when I was little. Nope, my parents were strong Christians and they wanted us to become Christians as well. They never pushed their beliefs on us, but around twelve I decided I wanted to become a Christian. I'm glad my parents took us to church. I learned so much from the people and also my pastor was a really kind man.

Morals come from the Bible. You don't need to attend church per se to be a good person, but the morals and values that make someone a good person originally came from the Bible. You can't get into heaven unless you accept that Jesus died for your sins. That's what the Bible says. If you read the Bible for yourself you could find all of this out, other than relying on others in a church setting to tell you what it says and possibly not tell you the truth of the gospels.

I am not a Bible-toting christian, but I honestly believe that most of the posters here quit looking too soon. I grew up old-school southern Baptist. Hell, fire ,and brimstone. I really got fed up with being told what I was doing wrong and that I was going to Hell because...well because we are all born sinners. It wasn't until I had children that I tried to reconnect with a church. I visited many churches of many different religions. I finally found one that fit. Now my kids wake ME up to go to church. There are places out there that give positive messages about Christ and help you apply those to your daily life. My church is non-denominational...you wouldn't know it is a church unless you were looking for it...no one will track you down for visitation(!). It is part of North Point Church. Check it out! You won't be disappointed...not your parents church!

A church is not a country club for saints, it is a hospital for sinners. And we all are sinners. Christians aren't perfect but we are forgiven, and forgiven, and forgiven...