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    Does Childhood Stress Stay with You for Your Whole Life?

    No matter how big the toothless smiles, how many toys are packed into the playroom, how perfect the family holiday photo seems, many children experience some kind of stress while they are growing up that one researcher says could stay with them into adulthood.

    Related: Can kids "catch" your stress?

    "If a child has a pervasive sense of adversity in his or her childhood for whatever reason, the brain responds to that kind of hardship by becoming more sensitized to stress," Dr. Rajita Sinha, director of the Yale Stress Center, recently explained to CNN.

    The brain becomes hard-wired to react more strongly, she says, making that person more likely to have a greater reaction to stress than people who do not have a similar history.

    What childhood stress is so big that is burrows into the brains for decades? Research points to pain, illness, and injury as major stressors for kids. But a child's stress level can increase to "severe" during family conflicts such as divorce, abuse, witnessing violence, financial crisis, the death of a loved one, or a parent who suffers from addiction or mental health problems.

    While anxiety is a normal reaction to stress and can even be OK for children to navigate, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, some people experience excessive levels of anxiety. One in eight children are affected by an anxiety disorder, according to the Anxiety Disorders Association of America, including those who are deemed to have post-traumatic stress disorder.

    While humans are "adaptive animals," Sinha says many children are experiencing stress before their ability to deal with it is completely developed. The adversity in their young lives therefore leads to a higher overall stress level into adulthood.

    "The stress pathway is developing during childhood. The stress system needs time to grow and become fully functional," Sinha says.

    Small children under stress are sources of concern, according to her studies. But she also sees adolescents, who are more likely to self-isolate, as particularly vulnerable. Teenagers' stress symptoms may range from sleep difficulty to overeating to school truancy to taking pain medication unnecessarily.

    While parents may not be able to completely shield children from stressors -- a kid's home life might be magical but they may encounter a bully in Sunday school or suddenly lose a grandparent to cancer -- Sinha says parents, teachers, and caregivers can help build resistance and optimism when kids experience stress.

    "Things happen. Families will face adversities. But if parents, teachers, and other adults are helping to guide children by talking about the trauma and providing them with adaptive skills, then those children will be more inclined toward protection and resilience, as opposed to risk."

    How can we help protect our kids from becoming over-stressed adults?

    1. Seek social support
    . Sinha says that interacting with others and garnering family support is a primary way we can protect kids from the risks of stress.

    2. Embrace education and intellectual challenges.
    Children are more likely to learn to navigate tough stuff if they are challenged in a safe environment like school, she reports. Teachers that encourage students to think abstractly, for example, are helping their brain develop in ways that will serve stressed children in the moment and, perhaps, in the long term.

    3. Develop optimism and tactics to control emotions. Parents and other adults who are active in a child's life may be able to help protect kids from carrying stress forward in such significant ways. A University of Wisconsin-Madison study revealed that a mother's voice, whether during a conversation or phone call or whisper during a hug, can produce significant biochemical responses that soothe stressed children. Another study of 405 inner-city children showed that yoga instruction boosted the kids' self-esteem and grades and decreased behavioral problems associated with the stress of poverty in South Central Los Angeles. Getting enough sleep consistently has also been shown to help children deal with stress more effectively. Some even say a little playful, safe roughhousing can do kids (and parents) a world of good.


    Read more on Shine:
    The most stressed out people in America are...
    3 ways to alleviate school anxiety
    What are your child's stress symptoms?

     
    • kitten  •  3 months ago
      i had a great deal of stress and trauma as a child. it was a learned characteristic learned from my mother. i used to allow it to get to me. by the time i was 9, i was having anxiety attacks nearly every day. as an adult, i found myself feeling sorry for myself and playing the victim card. it only added to my stress as an adult. then i realized one day that i was hurting myself and my wonderful husband. my life was at a standstill. i was diagnosed with major depression as a teen, and it did not ease for about 10 year. that is when i began to change...

      i realized i could not change the past, but i could shape my future. i began finding new ways to to cope with things in life, including past traumai learned. i began thinking more positively, even though it was difficult at times. in no time my life began to improve. i can say with 100% confidence that i am happier now than i have ever been. i am 28, but there are times i feel like a boisterous kid again.... at times anyway, lol. it is truly mind over matter. some people may require more help to do this (extensive counseling and medications, for instance, which i participated in both from the beginning of my diagnosis until early adulthood.).
    • Cassy Szablewski  •  Buffalo, New York  •  3 months ago
      All People today have some sort of Stress, Anxiety and Depression..In the end you have to deal with whatever your problems are..i understand that some things you can never fully get over(with good reasoning of course)...but for the sake of yourself you really have to try and go on and live you life...What i absolutly CAN NOT stand is when people who haven't had that bad of lives whine about how their "Depressed" and use it as an excuse to be mean and nasty for no reason....I come from an a very poor, mentally and physcially abusive home. Ive been on my own completely since i was 17 and was made fun of alll through out highschool because of this... and see people who have lives i wish i had find the tinest thing in their life to #$%$ about then call themselves "depressed". I myself am working to find a better "me." So really my point is don't fake depression and anxiety cause your a self center drama queen who wants attention...these are real disorders and are a complete HELL to live with.!!!
      • Us 3 months ago
        There is truth in all that, but it seems whenever I scratch the surface off of anyone's life, that I thought had it so easy, I find something I never expected. Few of us have it as easy as other's think. Basically, there is always somebody "messing" with somebody, and a story we never imagined :)
    • Athena  •  4 months ago
      For all of the people making cracks about how children should just "man up" and "get over it" there are some trials that you just don't get over on your own. Especially when they happen to you at an age that you don't understand what is really going on. We're not talking about getting picked on "every now and then" this article is about childhood abuse and how it can affect that child's ability to process stressful situations when they are an adult.
      • Melanie Decker 4 months ago
        it doesn't outline all of the child abuse terms. Nowadays, everything is child abuse unless you carry your kid around in bubble wrap and tell them that they can do no wrong no matter what they do.
      • A Yahoo! User 4 months ago
        please, they barely touched on abuse. what about children who are mistreated on a daily basis by their parents?
      • DDem 4 months ago
        I couldn't agree with you more. How can a child "man up"? Ummmm, they are not men to do so. I think this covers such a broadbase of stress more than just abuse. Responsible adults need to step up and realize that while yes children need to understand there is stress in the world, they need to teach these children how to cope with it and, most importantly, they need to filter what is not best for the children or what the child truly is incapable of coping with.
    • Sheila M  •  Kansas City, Missouri  •  4 months ago
      I can agree wholeheartedly with this - I had a father who was emotionally abusive and highly controlling, and I can clearly see adult reactions and patterns that are holdovers from that.
      • Lisa Elder 4 months ago
        I am with you, my adult life is riddled with emotional problems stemming from an abusive controlling father. My parents divorce was a blessing, not a stressor, but the damage was already done.
      • A Yahoo! User 4 months ago
        Same here. My father was a sadistic bully, and the abuse he inflicted on me as I was growing up is still affecting me today at age 58. My spineless mother's advice? "Get over it." I'm seeing a therapist, but defeating my depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc. is going to be a long and hard process. One plus - my father died of kidney cancer around ten years ago. Good riddance, and I hope he enjoyed his painful death.
      • txstateofmind 4 months ago
        Ditto. My brother and I grew up with a similar type of father. My brother, who got it worse than I did due to being forced to live with the man for three years after my parents split, went to therapy as an adult and was diagnosed with PTSD. He is making great progress in his therapy, I might add. I should go too because my dad still calls me (although I never pick up) and tries to have a relationship with me. I'm the only one left who will have even a little bit to do with him (I still send cards to him out of guilt). He was also a master manipulator and his words and his actions often contradicted each other. But his greatest tool was guilt, shame and constant put-downs. And it got much worse at other times. And like Lisa Elder, I was relieved when my parents divorced. My mother had a mental breakdown after the divorce which is why my brother ended up living with my dad. I was a teenager able to care for myself, so I was spared. Those were rough years. You just never know the fallout from being imprisoned in a family where emotional abuse is rampant.
    • carlo  •  New York, New York  •  4 months ago
      The way to shake this as an adult is to have good people around you.
      • Julia 4 months ago
        no matter who is around you it most likely will not be shaken
      • Carter 4 months ago
        the thing is...people who have been under these situations tend to push good people away. It's a pattern that has been entrenched in the person's brain. The only person that can change this pattern is themselves. Good people can only appoint them for help of deal with it.
      • carlo 4 months ago
        I can't believe I have to explain "good people".
        I mean having good people around you that love you and help you through whatever you are going thru, due to your past.
    • T  •  4 months ago
      No one in their right mind tells a soldier to "get over it." Now what kind of person tells that to a child?
      • Amanda 4 months ago
        Insensitive morons on Yahoo.
      • Flying_Bears_Rule! 4 months ago
        My dad
      • Sarah 4 months ago
        People who are selfish or have been told that themselves.
    • kbqlady  •  4 months ago
      I grew up with my father, who had PTSD because of being a concentration camp survivor (the Soviet Gulag), a mentally ill mother, a bullying eldest sister, another older sister, who was also mentally ill, as well as my own mental problems. Can you imagine what this family would be like? I don't really want to go into all the details. My family included emotional problems, secrecy, financial woes and marital strife, which almost ended in divorce, but not quite. Needless to say, I suffer from severe anxiety problems now. Does anyone wonder why? (smile)
    • starlight  •  4 months ago
      Stress does follow you for life.....I'm living proof of that. And NO, America's schools are NOT SAFE environments. They haven't been for decades, if not for the better part of a century now.
    • MtForceBwU  •  Medford, Oregon  •  4 months ago
      I'm sorry for everyone that had a terrible childhood, you will never get over it but you can get past it. Talking about it to somone helps, it's like pulling the bad stuff out. You can never change the past, but you can let go of it and live a better life. TWEET!
    • Whatever...  •  Topeka, Kansas  •  4 months ago
      Clearly Michael and Ann Marie haven't experience trauma during their childhoods. Congratulations. But for those of us who have, this article certainly offers me comfort. I am a successful women in her 50's who went to hell and back during childhood. Not only did I get abundant help from therapy but I'm convinced the stressors contributed to the empathy I show today towards others who struggle. Maybe Micheal and Ann Marie need to learn a little compassion.
    • Cheryl  •  4 months ago
      I though my high levels of stress seemed "over kill" for usual life experiences. Now I know that it's from being abused as a child.
    • m-e  •  Milwaukee, Wisconsin  •  4 months ago
      Selfish Parents only think of their own Wants - rather than the Child's Needs.
      parent's justify Divorce, by saying it's better for the kids cuz wealways fight . Divorce is very damaging to kids. Grow Up - and Stop Fighting. Being Bored with your spouce is no excuse for divorce.
    • JayneS  •  4 months ago
      No one is advocating not letting the child experience stress, just not more than they are old enough to handle. And giving the child the information and environment with which to deal with the situation is critical. It is essential that adults not complicate matters by being selfish (using the child to exact revenge on an ex) or absent (in bars looking for the next conquest or ignoring the child) does have an effect on the child's ability to deal with a stressful situation.
    • Monica  •  Abbeville, Louisiana  •  4 months ago
      I agree 100% with you Brittany...my heart hurts because I too know the effects of living in a home where you witness violence, lack of food & zero affirmation. School too was a struggle all I could think of was "is my mom okay, are my siblings eating, do they have electricity." Today w/ kiddos of my own I try my hardest to incorporate love, affirmation, meet their needs. Kids are so delicate- this is a tough world...so we as parents have to put in the effort to encourage them. "Be the change that you want to see" even if it's one baby step at a time...none of us are perfect we will all fail at parenting but you get right back up & try harder the next time!!!
    • brentg  •  4 months ago
      they need to invent a memory eraser. i have a lot of junk i want to forget forever.
    • surfgrl460  •  4 months ago
      This is my life. I had a pretty crappy unstable childhood. It screwed me up. I am stressed and anxious all day every day. :( I feel like I will never know happiness.
    • A Yahoo! User  •  4 months ago
      My child's father stands our child up and rarely sees our child. I always wonder what damage that will cause my child down the road even though nothing is showing up right now.
    • HarryHausen  •  Dekalb, Illinois  •  4 months ago
      GD right,,,father was a drunk, verbally and occasionally physically abusive, my sister and I both still battle demons from a lousy childhood
    • LivingOutLoud  •  Novato, California  •  4 months ago
      Finally, an informative article that is completely true and educates the public! My only complaint is it wasn't comprehensive enough and makes the solutions sound too simple. I can say from a lifetime of personal experience as well as being a mental health professional that people's brains and nervous systems that are exposed to controlling parents, verbal abuse, neglect (even mild), alcoholism/ addiction, mental health problems in the adults at home, sexual abuse, etc. and mostly, just not being seen as individuals or nurtured, develop differently. It isn't changed by a positive attitude or "cheering up" and telling the person they are too sensitive also isn't helpful. What matters is that different kids become adults with better coping mechanisms and resiliency, and mostly, adults who were raised this way who seek good, nurturing mental health help have a better chance of being okay. Also, anti-depressents and other non-addicting meds can help. As a sufferer of life-long Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I can say that our society knows so little about the truly painful difficulties people with stressful childhoods experience as adults. It's a miracle some of us have thrived at all, much less survived.
    • tim  •  Charlotte, North Carolina  •  4 months ago
      dag,, we need to form a support group and share what has helped us.

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