Later today I'm leaving for my second business trip in a month. My daughter is staying with my parents while I'm away. We've only been apart 1 day, but already, I miss her like crazy.
I'll only be gone for 2 days, but it seems like 2 months. It's not that I'm worried she won't be taken care of or that something will happen to her--I just miss being her mom. My mother told me it's totally normal to miss your kids when you're separated, but a friend of mine begs to differ. She thinks I have a codependent relationship with my daughter.
I was a little offended when my friend suggested this, but as time has passed, I can acknowledge there's probably some truth to what she said. Being my daughter's mother is my most cherished role in life. But I don't think that necessarily makes me codependent--I think that makes me a good mom.
You decide, though. What kind of mom do these 10 things make me?
1. I cry when we're separated. When I left my daughter yesterday, I cried for 10 minutes on the train. When my parents called to check in later in the evening, I cried again.
2. I get teary eyed when someone mentions her name and she's not with me. I was coming home from dinner last night and my boyfriend asked when I was going to pick her up. Cue the waterworks.
3. I won't vacation without her. If it was financially possible for me to bring my daughter and babysitter on this 2-day trip with me, I probably would have. This time was unavoidable, but when I travel for pleasure, I never do so without my little girl.
4. I pass the time in the airport looking at pictures of her. I got to the airport super early on my last business trip. Instead of passing out on the floor or walking around the shops, I just listened to music and flipped through old pictures of my little girl I had saved on my computer.
5. I have to close her closet door because I get sad seeing her little clothes. Before bed last night I found myself getting emotional because I was staring into my daughter's closet. I considered sleeping in the living room so I wouldn't have to see all her stuff in the bedroom.
6. When we're apart, I have to speak to her every day. Multiple times a day. By video chat if at all possible.
7. I just don't sleep as well when she's not in the bed with me. I know it sounds crazy. I should sleep better when there aren't little feet in my back. But I'm so used to having her in the bed with me, it's a little unsettling to be in that big bed all alone.
8. I bring her back tons of souvenirs. They're all worthless little trinkets and tchotchkes that I know I shouldn't waste my money on, but I feel like I need to come bearing gifts for being away from her.
9. After I've been away, I always plan some mommy and me excursion we wouldn't otherwise take. This weekend, for example, once I back from this trip I'm taking her to an apple orchard. I don't particularly like apples, but I think she'll have fun and I feel like I "owe" her.
10. Did I mention I miss her? Like, a lot. Like I can't even enjoy the break or the free trip to a place I've never been because I just wish she was with me.
Okay, so what's your take? Totally normal, all "good" moms feel these things? Or codependent? Share your thoughts in the comments.
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