Facing Down the Bullies: 5 Ways Parents Can Help

One critical thing I forgot was how your self esteem dissappears after you are bullied long enough and young people almost always tell parents there are problems it may not be direct that I am being bullied but I garantee the parents should know. If a kid hates going to school or other functions and has no friends chances are they are victims. Parents need to be be active in their kids lives and dont be afraid to ask the tough questions that just might save your kids life. I was reading several statements about bullying will not last forever, that is the most ignorant thing you could tell a victim. if you are a freshman in high school and you are looking at four years of hell tell me its not forever. Wake up people before your children kill them selves or someone else.

Telling the kid to ignore it, does nothing but make the child look submissive to the bully - which is like waving a red flag in front of a bull. The viciousness now that kids use while bullying demands that it NOT be ignored, or you're going to have a child who sits and takes it until he or she commits suicide.

What the parent needs to do is get their kid into marital arts and let the kid put anyone who bullies him or her, into the hospital. Make sure that first documentation of the bullying has been done, teachers have been talked to (and videotaped if possible), letters have been sent to the school, the principal, the district, and keep all their return letters. Because nothing will be done, even with all of that. BUT this documentation will come in handy should anyone try to press charges on the kid who stood up for him/herself or tries to sue the parents of the kid. If that happens, the parent needs to turn around and sue the school district and have all that documentation ready.

Teach your child to repeat "I was defending myself and trying to save my LIFE, from BULLIES at this school!" to any authority figure who steps in to stop the kid from beating up the bully.

It will be a lifelong lesson for those bullies too, getting the crap beat out of them like that - they will be more careful in the future to keep their mouths shut even as adults into their careers.

Parents do NOT tell your children to ignore it. Your children will never stop being the bully's target if you do that. Take your kids to learn martial arts, boxing, whatever is needed and teach the kid to stand up to bully's using these methods. That is the ONLY thing that a bully understands.

Bullying is a big deal that many parents just blow off as a learning experience. Make no mistake it is very serious and parents need to look for the signs. I am 61 I was a career Air Force Special Operative and learned when I was a teenager was the the target of serious bullying, however there was one boy that really stood out and was way more agressive and meaner than the others. One day after school I was walking from the bus stop home and he attacked from behind and hit we with a large 2 X 4. It knocked the wind out of me and I was knocked to my knees while he just laughed with some of his friends. I absolutely lost my mind I caught my breath got and ran strait at him and commenced to kick his ass. When it was over he had a broken nose a front tooth broken and bleeding from every where. I really didn't care how bad I hurt him I had taken his abuse for years. That was the last day a bully messed with me. His parents tried to file a law suit but it was thrown out when the truth was exposed. That one spand in time changed my whole life and I was not afraid to fight any more and I stuck up for others male and female that were bullied. How many kids have committed suicide in the US because of this crime in the last two years? You would be surprised. It has to stop!

too bad none of this worked for that poor girl in Mass. that killed herself

A couple of these "tips" are questionable.

Bullying isn't forever? I can think of two children I went to school with who were bullied from 2nd or 3rd grade all the way through high school. Unless something changes, nothing will change.

And self-esteem is NOT a magic pill. A kid doesn't want to hear how wonderful s/he is from mommy. And in fact, bullies have very high self-esteem. Self-Respect is a better target to aim for, and that needs to be earned. http://emergingcenter.wordpress.com/2010/03/22/bullies-and-self-esteem/

I can recommend an excellent program: The Total Bully Solution
http://www.totalbullysolution.com

Peace

If you want to stop bullying, stop it at every level. Work place bullys are school bullys grown up. The lawsuits you see in the news are because some jerk picked someone who they thought would be an isloated target. They were just having fun. Interesting enough every school bully says the same when it back fires on them. It is to everyone in our societies advantage to have a zero tolerance attitude towards bullys of any age. Anywhere. Companys in particular would save a lot of money and negative publicity if they were more active in enforcing all civil rights laws and not excusing anyone trying to get around those. Right now bullying is out of control in schools. Let it continue and it will be just as bad when a lot of the bullying kids are grown. At another level.

Being ignored and excluded happens in adult life as well. This is not bullying. That is the way the dice rolls. Children who are brought up with the " It's All About Me" attitude will have a hard time in school. However, any time there is physical contact and ongoing taunts and threats, a child should know that going to an adult in chrage is the right path.

Excellent points, Mark :)

0__o And just ignoring it won't do? Then again, it's not ignorable if its physical bullying, even then, kids should have the sense to get help.

Ok I am in 8th grade. If someone "bullies" me (with words, insults, etc) i say "Do I care what you think? NO", and give them the finger. If it's physical, I WILL hit them back. Harder. Guess who hasn't been bullied since 2nd grade? Me.

as a child i was bullied, my mom thought she was helping with the whole "ignore her" act, well when some1 bullys you all day and you cant get away because shes in 4 out of 8 of your classes and members of her cliche are in ALL of them. So heres what you truley need to tell your kid to do (at an apropreit age) FIGHT BACK, it is the only thing that works, and all that ever will. Throw it back at them, and they will stop, go ahead and critisize me, but thats how i got out of it and a good friend.

I agree with going to an authority figure to inform them of the bullying. But what happens when the authority figure doesn't do anything in return? My child was hit in the nose at daycare recently and I never got a report on it just a story from my daughter. I told my daughter to tell the teacher the next time. The next time the other child pushed her and nothing happened again. Needless to say her dad and grandfather have given her a few tips on defending herself and that problem has stopped. A lot of times telling the teacher doesn't work. And sometimes our babies have to physically defend themselves against bullies.

I think im going to cry now , this is so true