Are French Women the New Tiger Mothers?

Parenting has "become a competitive sport" in America in large part due to the lack of firm discipline coupled with sky high expectations, particularly when it comes to breastfeeding. Perhaps those two things - occasional spankings and a laissez-faire approach to breastfeeding are not a fluke, but part of why they do so well with their kids.

And anyway, that woman has a PhD in parenting? How many children has she raised? Any? Or should we ask her nanny?

Nowadays hitting a child IS taboo in the States. Visit Nigeria where there's real punishment! But those kids grow up disciplined and hardworking. Coddling won't get your kids anywhere.

Every child is different. In my case, sitting me in time out was enough and 9/10 I'd get the point. My sister on the other hand needed to be spanked. I can count on one hand how many times I've been spanked, but in both situations neither of us became abusers. Furthermore, being spanked didn't teach us it was "acceptable behavior" it was UNacceptable behavior in the sense that our disrespectful actions should never go to the end all of being spanked.I'm not advocating for people to spank their children, but if it needs to happen, it needs to happen.

A society is judged by how it treats its children.

And when the children become teenagers and give them the fits, the French parents... surrender.

Speaking as a Frenchman, these crude generalizations about how the French raise their children are rather off.

OMG that's the "French" style? Hello! That was the AMERICAN style when I was growing up. Nobody catered to me. Nobody indulged. If I got a special toy it was a BIG deal and yes I was raised to say "Please", "Thank you" and to ask to be excused from the table. I wasn't asked at 3 years old what I wanted for dinner, I got what I got and I asked mom what we were having! No one freaked over what I may or may not like. When you are hungry, you will eat! Parents today are pathetic. Go to YouTube and look for George Carlin's skit called "Child worship." We suffer from it here in the states.

My goodness, I didn't know my parents were french--I'm in my late 40's and that sounds like I was raised. Before anyone wonders--I had and still have a fantastic relationship with my parents, have a good job and a really nice life and I credit these to my parents teaching me from the moment I could understand how life was and that I had to work hard for what I wanted.

I do not see anything about this article as "The French Style of Parenting" as unusual or different than some parents in the US. I have 2 French friends - both living here in the US only 2 years and I have come to know them very well. One was a single mom and was financially able to spend all her time with her son while he was young. They continue to be close but not excessively or obsessively close. He is very private about his personal business.

The other has a son and daughter, she is not very close with the son yet she is obsessively close with the 28 year old daughter - talks about her constantly. She hovers over the daughter and has been her 'friend' for many years.

I think parenting is unique and what works for one may not necessarily work for another, and right, babies do not come with instructions manuals.

But I do think it is very important for parents to spend as much time as they can with their children.

*In my opinion* too many of us Americans have kids just to add to our collections of "stuff", dump the kids in daycare at 6 weeks, and the parents have very little part in raising their own kids. They'd rather pay a baby sitter a measly salary (and you do get what you pay for) to raise their kids instead of planning for the kids and making some sacrifices if necessary, and raise their kids themselves. Believe me, it can be done. They buy the kids tons of stuff they don't need (and usually can't afford) to try to show the kids they love them, when the kids really only want and need their parents time and attention. Then the parents wonder why the kids turn out the way they do.

Our society should evaluate why these kids are turning out as they are.

I had a weird childhood. My mother has schizophrenizia and I spent most of my time with her as my father was at work. However, I am relatively happy with my childhood. Sure, there were some, "crazy" bits, but who the hell has a completely "normal" childhood anyway? I was an only child and I knew(and still know, much to my annoyance when they call a billion times a week) that my parents loved me more than anything on this planet and the thought of how fulfilled they would feel whenever I accomplished something great was what pushed me. I am 25(as of today) going into my second year of grad school with a 3.7 gpa. No one beat me, or made me take expensive music instrument lessons, or bullied me. I just know that when I walk across that stage to get my master of information systems diploma, that I will not only be making my parents happy, but also myself. Help your kids learn independence and responsibility to themselves(not just responsibility to others).

I was raised like this and I would say it works as long as parents balance discipline with love and fairness. Most of all, I want to stress something that is not mentioned in this article, the importance of distinguishing from one child to another. Some children are naturally inclined to challenge authority and need a bit more discipline and other children need less. I was an easy, compliant child (according to my mom), yet she applied the same unwavering discipline on me. As a result, by the time I reached puberty, I had become withdrawn and disconnected from myself. It took me most of my adult life to recover my voice, my creativity and my ability to feel secure in who I am. Reflecting back, I feel I needed a softer approach. That being said, I feel discipline is very important and I see so many children nowadays who lack positive guidance and develop a false sense of entitlement. It is important for parents to set strong boundaries so that their children learn to respect others and ultimately themselves.

Spanking=child abuse!?! What a leap! People like that give liberals/progressives a bad name.

I hate to say this but I think spanking a child - within reason - shouldn't be taboo. I got a lot more than I deserved when I was a kid, but I there were most definitely times when I deserved it and it put me back in line. America's become a nation ef extremes - you can't spank a kid without beating the living %@$#$ out of him/her? Find moderation and stick with it! I didn't grow up to think it was acceptable to crack people upside the head, even though I'd like to some times!

I like how they say "Spanking" and then reference it as abuse. Hm. I was spanked, and yet I was not an "abused" child. Nor am I an abuser. People are so stupid.

Let's see...I taught my children how to sit in a restaurant, quietly, in their seats from the time they were born. I/they were complimented by other patrons because they were quiet, stayed seated, ate properly, etc. All this started at home. My children (now 17 and 14) knew how to shake hands, be polite, etc....and we are NOT french. Oh, and yes..I DID spank my children when appropriate - NEVER out of my anger. It's called being raised as I was raised...with respect, discipline and high expectations. THIS is what is missing in parenting today.

I was raised to say Please, Thank-you, Pardon me, Yes Mam, No Mam,and all of those little Southern phrases that people no longer embellish. There was no huh, I don't eat that, and I don't want to go to bed now. Respect was given. When adults talked you were not around. You knew better. You were not your parents friend. You were their child and being their child meant boundaries. And the parents set the boundaries. I did the same with my daughters and even now when out together, if they see a sassy child they say they could not have been your child. Their is a bridge between childhood and adulthood. It should not be crossed until you are an adult and even then-You remember how you got across that bridge.

I imagine quite a few young parents are just overwhelmed. So many times I've heard those in their second marriages are usually better parents with their kids because they learned what not to do during their first time around.

1) Slapping or spanking a child, as long as an open hand is the ONLY thing used, is NOT abusive. That brief sting of pain (less than 5 minutes) opens up the subconscious and allows the parent to directly tell the child from a position of Authority, that their current behavior is not acceptable. One of the few good things that came from my birth mother spanking me is that it kept me from becoming a bully. She told me after the sting of pain that picking on other kids was not acceptable and i stopped.
Using a fist, foot, boot or shoe, or any other object to strike a child, IS abusive.
2) Europeans, particularly the French, are not into commitment and so they do not want to breast-feed their children because they have to be with the child just about 24/7. I have never known a mom to regret breast-feeding, and the kids are better off breast-fed.

So in other words, French parents discipline their children, teach them appropriate behavior, and don't hand them everything they want.

This sounds like common sense to me, but hey, all my kids have four feet so my opinion is probably worthless!

What a retarded author, not knowing the difference between spanking and abuse. Both of our kids were spanked fewer than 5 times in their childhood, all under the age of 5. In each case it was because they were doing something that could have had consequences far beyond a sore bottom. You go ahead and reason with your toddler not to run out in the street - be consistent about it and say all the right things. But in my opinion, a little physical pain is a far more effective lesson in consequences.