Help! I Hate My Friend's Kids: 3 Ways to Stay Sane

Babble.com

What do you do when you can't stand your best friend's kids?


Last week, a desperate mom wrote in for advice to Carolyn Hax's column in The Washington Post complaining that she can't stand her dear friend's bratty daughters - or her friend's way of dealing with them.

"She spoils her kids rotten and as such has created a couple of monsters," wrote the woman. The real problem is that her daughter can't bear their behavior either. Should she decline playdates with her friend and her kids or should she say something about the kids' behavior?

More on Babble: Playdate Problems: I Love You but I Hate Your Kid

According to Hax, she shouldn't do either - unless, of course, her own daughter isn't safe around her friend's kids, in which case she should end all contact. But as long as the kids are just garden-variety bratty, Hax advises the mom to find shared interests and go on an outing rather than let the kids run wild at home. If supervised activities don't work and she truly values the friendship, the mom should make time for her friend outside of playdates.

Hax also points out that before this woman knows it, her kids will be busy with their own friends and won't be tagging along on their mom's social visits. "Choosing to put the friendship at risk seems shortsighted when time is leaning your way," writes Hax.

Here are some things you can do to make time with your friends' difficult kids more bearable:

1. Set up a neutral place to meet - like a museum or a park - so there won't be quarrels about sharing toys.


2. Next time you're all together, try not to get so involved with talking to your friend that you lose track of what the kids are up to. Be a little more hands-on than usual just to see if you can diffuse disagreements before they become full-blown arguments.


3. It may be tricky, but try to talk to your friends (in a non-judgmental tone, if possible) about how your kids aren't really getting along with her kids and maybe there's something you can all do to work things out (without assigning blame).


It's hard enough dealing with a difficult child when it's your own, but when it's someone else's, patience wears even thinner. Read more ways to manage the situation without endangering your friendship on Babble's Strollerderby.

Has this ever happened to you? What did you do?

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