By Karen Karbo, REDBOOK
Q. All of my women friends from the neighborhood seem to be going through midlife crises. They hit the bars, take pole-dancing classes, have affairs, and are setting all the wrong examples for their tween-aged children. I still get invited to their inappropriate events, and I'm tired of making excuses. Should I tell them that I can't stand their lifestyle? -A.N., 40, CALIFORNIA
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A. If you're tired of making excuses, stop making them. Tell these ladies that bar-hopping and pole-dancing just aren't your thing. If they're merely neighbors and not close friends, they probably won't be that offended. They may be making choices that you wouldn't (at least not now; as life unfolds, we're sometimes surprised to find ourselves doing things we'd never imagined), but you'll feel less upset by their actions if you pull back on the judgment. Isn't all the finger-wagging emotionally exhausting for you? I know you have plenty of better (and happier) things to do-like connecting with some new, like-minded friends.
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Advice guru Karen Karbo is a mom, a teacher, and the author of the new book How Georgia Became O'Keeffe.
Do you need life advice?
Send questions about perplexing friends, family, mates, colleagues, and anyone else to karenkarbo@redbookmag.com , and include your initials, age, and state. Letters may be edited for clarity and length.
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