How My Husband Tried to Get Out of a Vasectomy

My ex wouldn't have a vasectomy so I had my tubes tied. There was a problem during the surgery and I ended up with the old-fashioned kind, which is more than the procedures used today. It took me the entire summer to recover and the entire thing was very depressing. This was possibly one of the turning points of the marriage failing. Men who really care about their wife's health will conquer their fears.

After we had our two kids, a boy and a girl (two of the same would have opened the option of having a third), and my health plan changed so as to include vasectomies, I scheduled the consult, met with the doctor, and made the appointment, entirely on my own. My wife did not know about it, as I did not want her trying to talk me out of it.

She did eventually find out, before I had the surgery, and she threw a fit. I asked her, what business was it of hers? I explained calmly that she had told me, many times, that even though we had agreed on two children, should she become pregnant again, she, and she alone, would make the decision whether to have the baby or not. I was simply the father, and I would have no say in the matter. Zero. After all, it was her body, right? Not mine.

So, I explained that, having a vasectomy affected my body, not hers, and that I, and I alone, had control over my own reproductive rights. So, I, and I alone, would make the decision to have a vasectomy. There was no further debate. She could get on board with it, or we could have problems over it from now until forever, but it WAS HAPPENING, like it or not.

My husband had two choices after we were done. Vasectomy or NEVER have sex again. No condoms, I wasn't going on the pill longterm, and there would be no need for calendar watching other than the expected date of menstrual cycle starting.

Of course, he got the vasectomy and has never regretted the choice since it made life uncomplicated within a couple months after. AND great for spontaneous sessions!! :)

If a man won't get it done, he's NOT worth having!! :)

Just be careful...IUD's are NOT as good as a vesectomy, or getting your tubes tied for that matter (which, by the way, why DIDN'T you get your tubes tied if you were looking for a permanent solution?). I had an IUD, it got dislodged, and I got pregnant then had a miscarriage. It was awful, and it's not something you can just forget about; you really need to have it checked yearly to make sure it's still where it should be. Just sayin'.

I think this guy is being a jerk about it, not because he doesn't want the surgery, but because he isn't being honesty with his wife about it. I can understand feelings of worth tied to fertility, as women we have to deal with it all the time. I can understand not wanting surgery or not liking doctors. I don't understand why he just can't own up and say he doesn't want his junk touched and let his wife go through an IUD, which can be dangerous to her health.

ASK...1st off men are HUGE FREAKING BABIES!!!Omg and secondly there is a part of their brain that makes them think that they may need to reproduce with another woman in the future... So a vesectomy is really the only way to go to ensure your husband has no love children!!!

I cannot believe this woman popped out 4 kids for this lame-o.

I really feel its best for the man to have a vasectomy for several reasons. One because its less painful and their recovery time is Wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better what a woman would have to deal with , with a tubaligation. Women can't do anything for 6 weeks after theirs. Men can go back to work in 2 days, they just can't lift heavy things for 2 weeks is all. My ex husband had one done and wasn't in any pain at all. Women also face the challenges of having problems after tubaligations such as partial hysterectomy's and eventually, a Full hysterectomy. It is also ten times cheaper for a man to go and have it done. I really think its a shame that men are so sensitive on this whenever their wives have multiple child births. I mean men, come on. Stop being such babies! You could be the ones having to give birth.

My husband got one...He came out of the room so fast i asked him if he had changed his mind...less then 10 mins..he said nope all done!..spent the day with a bag of frozen peas on his crotch watching movies, took one more day off to rest up..went back to work...10 days later follow up appointment and started back to our nomal routine right after..for US it was the best decision we ever made and he said although he was very scared at firest he is glad he had it done. Now there are no more worries about contraception and neither one of us has to implant or take something foreign into our bodies.....

I was in the same boat. I had the same conversations with my husband. He even went as far as to suggest that I just get a hysterectomy "since I would be getting one anyway in the future". I was 39 at the time. I had to explain to him that not all women got them and that no surgen worth seeing would do that kind of surgery without a good reason. It came down to me too. I decided that it was more important for me to not get pregnant than for him to have a vasectomy.

My husband has been putting off getting a vasectomy for two years now. I can't be on birth control anymore b/c my body had an allergic reaction to Ocella (a generic form of Yasmin birth control back in late 2008) and now I am left with an autoimmune disorder that I have to deal with for the rest of my life. Before I found the diagnosis to my disorder I suffered for almost 2 years. Sex was extremely painful and felt like I had acid poured on me then add the friction to all that... ouch. Anyway, I am a little angry at my husband for being selfish and not getting this done after he promised me 2 years ago he'd do it. I could have gotten my tubes tied during my last c-section but at that point we weren't sure if we wanted to have a third -- A decision I just couldn't make at that point b/c I was just having our second child. I did schedule a tubal last year but cancled b/c they weren't even sure they could do it b/c of my previous c-sections/scar tissue etc.. The future is uncertain if my husband will have it done. His latest "promise" to me was, if his friend (who just had his third child) gets it done he swears he will do it.. not holding my breath. Two years ago he told me if he could get a Super Snake ( a type of Ford Mustang) he woudl get it done.. I never thought he'd spend the money on the car but low and behold he just bought one.. I told him he needs to hold up his end of the bargain.. We'll see.
Sorry for the rant.

Better than my neighbor. He got remarried late in life and both of them had previous families. She got pregnant, they had a son and decided that he should go get a vasectomy because they were getting too old to be running after toddlers. Well, he made the appointment, chickened out, and didn't tell his wife. About a month later she showed him the pregnancy test with a "Forget to tell me something?". Bonus? They had twins.

Men have it so easy! We don't even let them admit it when they're too scared to do things. If he didn't want to do it, he should have told you so instead of making dumb excuses. Glad you got an IUD since condoms aren't always reliable and you would have probably ended up with baby #3 before too long. My boyfriend has already offered to get a vasectomy after we get married and have children - I didn't even have to bring it up.

I'm going to go against the grain here but guess what ladies I am going to use an invocation you use all the time.

HIS BODY HIS CHOICE. Deal with it, men have to...so can you.

women are always fighting for their rights to control what they do with their body (whether you are for/against abortion or not). Why should it be any different for men? You shouldn't guilt them into making such a big decision that they could possibly regret/resent you for later. I think it would be a hard decision for a man to lose something that they feel makes them a man. Kinda like how some ladies think that boobs make them feel more like a woman

I wouldn't force my husband to get a vasectomy if he didn't want to! Why don't you get your tubes tied if you're so concerned?

Why does he have to be the one to get the vasectomy? If he doesn't want to do it, oh well! Why don't YOU get YOUR tubes tied?

Thank you for writing this article, my boyfriend and I were just discussing this last week. His excuse is "I don't want blue balls"! But now after reading your article, I understand now that birth control is and always will be the woman's responsibility.

Clearly all the people who think that it's the given thing for a man to have the snip have no respect for your partner as a person or as an equal. All you're concerned about is yourself and are obviously that arrogant to assume that your way is the only way.

It's not your body, it's theirs! I'm sure if your husbands came up to you and wanted you to have a surgical procedure that they claim is "good for us" but safer if you do it then you would refuse!

Surgery is surgery, no matter how much you dress it up. In my opinion, no one (man or woman) should have surgery unless their life is being threatened directly (this also applies to plastic surgery, like boob jobs etc) and definitely shouldn't have it done unless it's your own decision.

When me and my partner decided we are not likely to have kids, I told her flat out I'm not having the snip and she was fine with it. She's 100% she doesn't want kids and I'm about 80% I don't - I'd never rule it out, but it's not a deal breaker to me and I think kids are horrible creatures anyway. We've both been married before so we know that relationships aren't always going to last forever. We're just reaching 30, and I'm not willing to alter my body in case we split up and in 10 or 20 years time, I change my mind (I do live in the free world and I have that luxury) as men and women sometimes do.

Stop being so hard on your blokes!