Is Drinking around Your Kids Good Parenting?

My mother would have a single glass of red wine every night before she would go to sleep. It was recommended by her doctor because of my mother's particular health problems, and she made sure we knew it. She would occasionally have a beer with her best friend when she came to visit (her best friend lived in a different state, so they didn't visit often). From this I learned that there are okay reasons to drink a little alcohol, but my mother did talk to my sister and me about the dangers of overimbibing, especially for young women.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with responsible drinking in front of your children. That's preposterous. My husband and I don't have children yet, and won't for quite some time, however, we do have a wonderful hobby together that will NOT cease just because we have kids one day. Our hobby is home brewing.

We make our own craft beers and wines. Every year for our anniversary we brew a mead, and have been doing so since our honeymoon. Craft brewing and responsible drinking are good things for children to see. It shows them that there is more to alcohol that getting blitzed and acting foolish. It shows them that you can enjoy an alcoholic beverage because of its flavor, pairings with food, and that it can be a responsible hobby (when you are an adult of course).

For those of you saying "Practice as you preach to your children" and "If you don't want your children to drink, you shouldn't drink either" consider this. You don't want your children having sex before they are adults, right? Does that mean you and your spouse will abstain from having sex? I'm betting not. I mean, sex is the whole reason you even have kids right now. Do you also abstain from kissing or holding hands in front of your children? That's good, show them that you should be cold and unloving to the person you marry.

why would your kids loose respect for you if they saw you having a beer? Don't get it.

There is nothing wrong with drinking in front of your kids! In Spain (where i grew up) it is normal to take your kids to a bar or restaurant with you, drinking at home with dinner etc and the drinking age was 16 and the driving age was 18 so at least you have a couple of years drinking experience before getting behind the wheel. Why do Americans make such a big deal about everything, if the parents are good people then the kids are usually good people. Just because people drink and smoke doesn't make them evil! Don't shelter your kids from the world it just makes them want it more, when they learn that drinking is normal and not "cool" then they are less likely to do something stupid.

My parents stopped drinking when my mom found out she was pregnant with me, and they still don't. But my grandparents and other relatives all drink when we have parties, and Daddy has one glass of wine at Christmas. I think seeing them all drink while listening to what my parents told me about drinking made me cautious. They all drive, even after having a glass of wine. I don't have my license, so no worries there. My mom's been a hypocrite about me drinking, but that's a story for another time.

My husband and I enjoy a glass of wine or a beer while watching hockey after dinner. My kids see us drink in moderation and for the rare time that we've over indulged (when the kids were with a sitter) we make no secret of the effects the next day. We explain that Mom or Dad doesn't feel good becuase of too much wine or beer the night before. (This is a rare thing.) They also understand that we do not drive when having adult beverages.

This past New Year's Eve my daughter did not want us going out because she did not want us to drive (she is 6). I explained to her that Mommy and Daddy hired a driver to get us home safely and that the driver would not be drinking at all. I think it is good for her to see that we made plans to get ourselves and our friends home safely. I still made sure to only drink in moderation on New Year's Eve (I didn't want to feel awful in the am).

Never smoke ,drink alcohol,use drugs or break any laws in front of your children they will loss respect for you as a person and parent. I can remember kids who said my parents are a-holes and worse I hate my parents they are losers.

Whatever you do, just remember that your kids learn how to behave by watching you.

ru talking about drinking soda pop?? what you should be talking about is,,what parents do after drinking booz...
judgement is the part of the brain that develops last,,and the first thing booz obliterates

if kids see him fun after he has been drinking and see that often that will be engraved in their heads when they are older. they will believe they will be more fun and have more fun if they dink socially. bad idea with the way school systems and teenagers are getting too. imagine how bad it will be when our kids are older?

If it's done in moderation and that's what you are modeling to them--to drink in moderation. If you don't want your kids to drink, you shouldn't model drinking in front of them. Human beings, especially children, learn the majority of their behavior through mimesis or mimicking I guess you could say. That's why people put such an emphasis on "role models." You can tell a kid all you want that drinking is bad and not to drink, but you might as well shut your mouth if you are modeling drinking to get drunk in front of them. Nine times out of ten, children will become what they SEE, not what they HEAR.

If you don't want your kids to drink, you shouldn't vilify it for them either or make it taboo. You have to take the mystery out of it, not create more mystery around it which only peaks their curiosity. Just show them, by example, how it's possible to have a good time without alcohol and they'll grow up figuring that out for themselves. Also, as they get older, talk to them matter-of-factly about the consequences of that behavior. Don't ever tell them they can't do it. Instead, show them they have a choice (hey, let's be realistic, kids in high school have access to alcohol so technically if they really wanted to drink, they could). Say to them, "Well, sure you COULD do this at that party, but just remember that this, this, and this will most likely happen to you and cause this, this, and this kind of trouble in your life." If the kid is particularly headstrong, you may even bring in someone who has made that bad decision and is living with the consequences of it to talk to the kid too from a peer perspective. What you want to do is show them why it is a BETTER CHOICE to either be sober, wait until the legal age and drink in moderation, or to not drink at all. If you respect their natural born free will in this way, I guarantee they will surprise you at just how conscientious they can be.

Personally, I'm usually the "drunkest" person in the room and all I'll have is a glass of water. :)

If moderate drinking is part of a parent's lifestyle then it seems fine to drink occasionally in front of your children. When they are ready, talk with your children about alcohol use and make the statement that moderate, responsible (e.g. no driving or drinking when pregnant) is acceptable when you're an adult. Explain that abstaining from alcohol is also a fine choice. If your family doesn't drink, then explain your reasons in a rational, calm manner so that drinking doesn't become a form of rebellion or intrigue. Whatever your family's lifestyle, be a good role model for your children.

Bry is correct. Going to someones house and not being able to drive yourself home is not the same thing as having a beer once in awhile at home.

my mum does not drink, but my dad does enjoy a beer or two every once and a while. he knows when he should stop and he does. it is not a big deal to me, and i think that it smells atrocious so i have no desire to try it. it really does not bother me and i am a teen. and just because you see something does not mean that you are going to go out and do it! i do not wear fugly "mum jeans" or socks with sandles and turtlenecks. not my problem, you "adults" must remember that teenages are usually more cultured and aware than their parents think that they are, and more than their parents.

I wonder why the article's author is lumping intoxication in with social drinking where very few people actually consume enough alcohol quickly enough to become intoxicated. I'm thinking about New Year's Eve, Christmas parties, birthday parties, etc.

My parents would have family friends over and drink an entire gallon of Ernest and Julio Gallo's Pisano (yes, disgusting) when we were kids, and we always used that opportunity to add more casual swearing into our lexicon for the night. We thought it was funny that they didn't tell us not to swear when we said "hell."

I usually have a drink a day, while my kids are here, and they don't care at all. After a martini, I'm much less likely to yell at them to turn down the video game, or stop running around the house shooting each other with nerf darts.

But if I'm watching other parent's kids, I always ask if they mind if I have a beer when their kids are over. They know I'm not going to get drunk, but if they prefer I don't, then I don't drink when their kids are over.

My kids have seen plenty of drunk people, and as long as they are "happy drunks" I'm not much worried about it.

Poonam & I have two children. I was in the IAF.Besides, Operational work we were engaged in lot of social interaction. Perforce, a lot many times the evenning parties had to be organised at home.Drinks have always been the order of the day. We both, as Parents, decided that we always explained to the kids 'calling a spade as a spade'. Our Children understood the difference between an 'Adult' drink and drink for the children.Both our children are very settled and have family of their own.

It doesn't matter either way. My 14 yr old son never saw me drink since I did it when he was spending the night at a friend's house. And yet, my son is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict (I never used either - around him or not). When he went into recovery, he told me it didn't matter. He was introduced to alcohol and drugs through his friends. Whether or not I drank did not factor into the question at all since I don't drink to get drunk and I'm of legal age to drink (his words).

For the ones allowing their kids to drink "supervised" in their homes, I think it's a bad idea. It's still illegal. They may not lose respect for you, but it teaches them that you're okay with them breaking the law.

I believe in parenting by example; therefore, I do not drink. Besides, you are responsible for taking care of your child and it is not possible to do that to the best of your abilities if you are under the influence of alcohol. Just sayin'

There's a difference between having 'a' beer or 'a' glass of wine in front of your kids and drinking yourself stupid in front of them. The first sets an example of moderation, and the second is what fuels the PC Police when they insist all drinking is bad.

Lensam has the right idea. My husband's parents were the same way with him, and today he's a very responsible social drinker. As for me, some of the best advice my dad ever gave was when he told me, "There's nothing wrong with drinking. Just make sure you're in control of it, rather than it being in control of you." It's something I've heeded well.

umm no