Is Having Enemies Actually Good For Kids?

It's important to read the articles closely and realize that what's in play here isn't the peer rejection found in those extreme cases the media grabs likes to highlight. We're talking about the normal, everyday, I-don't-like-that-kid stuff. Yes, kids can be cruel, but you've got to learn at some point that not everyone's going to be your BFF. There are bound to be challenging people around you throughout your life, and knowing how to deal with them is indeed a skill.

What sticks out to me is what stuck out to Robyn. There's a small group of kids that are so "different", they experience peer rejection (group-wide as opposed person to person) and suffer greatly for it. There IS a line to be drawn here. That one person, that one friend can make all the difference in the world. Trust me on that.

When a kid has an arch nemesis, it means she has the guts to say--I don't care if you like me, because I don't like you. There's never anything wrong with standing up for yourself. Nobody should feel they were born to please others, and nobody should feel pressure to be liked by everyone. The kids I knew who didn't have an enemy were all things to everyone, like a social chameleon. They never ticked anyone off by disagreeing, and they never really stood up for what they believed in. See those people at high school reunions, and they have smiles plastered on their faces, afraid to displease anyone. Inner happiness will never come from fulfilling everyone else's expectations of you. If you have the guts to get to know yourself and be yourself, you'll get over the fact that you can't be everything to everyone. That's what makes a person less phony, and more genuine.

any parent with common since should know that having negative relationships or enemys that the child or children know about is very unhealthy and having that around your children just keeps them upset and open for questions to the parent. It's also teaches them that its ok to live like that and it's normal, which any good parent should know automatically.

I tell my kids you don't need to like everyone not everyone will like you but, you still need to treat people w/ respect. If someone is being mean to you ignore them or be nice in return

No, having enemies is never good for a child's esteem, I do not care what the "experts" say.

Having enemies is also good for a child's esteem because once they accept that you cannot get along with EVERYONE, life gets much easier.

I tell my daughter about kids she doesnt get along with
Dont take it to heart it might pass and so on
I always tell her to keep being herself around those kids and dont let them change how she feels about herself

people that challenge you in life give you a sense of self, what do you believe in, who do you care for, are you willing to stand up for those who need you.....
but as always kids and teens can be cruel so watch for sign where the challenging can become damaging.

NO! Not an enemy! I worked with a peer counseling group. In that group were 11 girls, aged 12-16. We had many discussions about diversity and learning to appreciate other points of view. They also came to understand that bullies were people with deep rooted issues, and the only sane option was to walk away and tell a person in authority if they felt threatened. Trying to make every one happy is one way to make sure you never are.

My daughter an "arch nemesis" as she calls her, the girl can be mean and they do have fights but you would never guess that this girl is a bully towards my daughter when you hear her talk about her. To her it's as simple as she doesn't like me so I don't like her and has become somewhat of a game to see what the girl will do next. It has made her realize that not everyone will like you and vice versa, and she has learned that it doesn't have any impact to her as a person. Having been bullied a lot as a kid (the kind that left scars inside and out) I was at first worried. But the more I hear her talk about it the more I realize this is normal and a part of her growing up (so long as it doesn't get out of hand).

Everyone has enemies. You simply don't like everyone and everyone doesn't like you. That's just life so it's unrealistic to expect children in large groups would all like each other. In school, at work, even within families, some people just aren't compatible and bring the worst out of each other. That said, it's a problem when it turns into harassment, abuse or an obsession. One shouldn't feel entitled to actively hurt or destroy someone just because there's no love there.

The answer to this question could be a surprising "yes." For now, especially in this nowaday world, it's always good to have your child prepared for adversaries because the actual blows ahead are tremendous, so, it is always good to give he/she a head start that when these circumstances arived he/she will be in readiness. So, it shouldn't be "no."

It doesn't surprise me that kids who can blow off dislike are better adjusted. Of course they are. They're not spending every minute worrying about who likes them or what they can do to be liked because they probably have a very strong sense of self. However, I don't think even one of those kids would be a match for extreme bullying. There's a huge difference.

As a kid, I was afraid to have anyone not like me, so I liked everyone and went out of my way to make sure I was in everyone's good favor. It was nerve wracking, painful, and terrifying to worry that someone somewhere might not like me. Then I got older, got a few enemies, sweated it for a while, and then realized that I didn't have to be nice to everyone even if they were cruel to me. I didn't have to give in to every demand just to stay on someone's good side. It was unbelievably liberating. So, yeah, I think having enemies and knowing how to deal with them can be great. Bullying is different but enemies can be rather invigorating.

I've never liked the word 'enemy'. Even as a kid, I didn't have 'enemies', there were just some people I didn't really get along with, but they certainly weren't 'enemies'. Having to lump everyone into a category of 'friend' or 'enemy' has always seemed to be too black and white to me.

Did anyone notice the picture of the girl in red yelling at the girl in yellow? That is so funny, because this rainbow baby would have made Miss Red, black and blue if she had got up in my face that way. Hey, I'm just saying the picture says it all.

I think whether or not you believe that having enemies may be good for your child or not, as a parent you should be aware of who your children friends and enemies are.

Children need to understand that sometimes, you get enemies regardless of anything they may have done or did not do. It's just life, but they need to know that they do not need to adjust themselves to meet their enemies liking. Only the strong survive, boxing and martial arts(two things I love the most) will help the weak and strong children survive alike.

Well I see my brother and I as proof... lots of kids hated us growing up and were both healthy and successful people... like I and lots of others say:

"If you got haters, you're doing something right."

I believe this, Some girls growing up didn't like me some did. Just like i didn't like some kids. I think that it helps teach people not everyone is going to like you, witch when it comes time for highschool and life people need to learn.

Kids are going to grow up & have to deal with difficult people in real life. They might as well get used to it as kids so they know how to handle it as adults.

Having an enemy as when your a kid is what every child needs. But like they said only to the extent. Coming for PR to the states, my English wasn't as great as the other kids. So i got picked on and ended up having numerous of enemy. Then it turned to bullying. Not having a father figure in my life when growing up, i turned to the closest thing to it and it was my mother. " She told me to that i needed to defend my self and stand up to those kids!" i took the advise to the head and when i was walking home from school i saw an boxing gym on the way where i didn't noticed before. i ended up signing up and started training. my whole objective was to actually fight the kids. you know an eye for and eye. But i can guarantee you that every gym doesn't train people to fight in the street. they help you built character, self esteem, confidence, and the most important thing discipline. not that the child need it, but when its comes to the bulling or confrontation with an enemy, it takes alot of discipline to walk away in a situation where the conflict is about to climax. but one of biggest thing learned on my own was to be protective, not on my own but for those that couldnt really defend them self. thats how i started making new friends. and eventually they wanted to be strong as well to help others. so it became like a chain reaction. but what really makes a child to take this step really DEPENDS ALL ON THE PARENTS. we are the ones that, WHAT EVER WE SAY TO THEM, WILL " make it or break it" for the kids. so if you grew up being pick on as a kid and never defended your self and became a softy ( no offense ) and you hated it, dont let your kids go trough what u went trough. we always want our kids to do better than we did in our life.