Kids Get Stressed This Time of Year, Too

by Amy Gates, contributing editor, Mommy & Family

The holidays are supposed to be "the most wonderful time of the year," yet for many people they might as well be known as "the most stressful time of the year." We often think of stress as something that only affects adults, but it can play a significant role in the lives of children as well, especially around the holidays.

There are a lot of changes to children's routines during the holidays, from visits from unfamiliar relatives to traveling, from an influx of sweets to over-scheduled days and late bedtimes. All of these things can take a toll on the wee ones.

Rather than accept that tears, tantrums and troubles (which are all normal child reactions to stress) are a necessary evil of the holidays, you can follow some tips to keep your kids (and yourself) feeling a bit more carefree. I can't guarantee there won't be any tears or tantrums, but it will be less likely to be from stress and more likely to be typical childhood tears and tantrums.

10 Ways to Reduce Kids' Stress has some helpful tips, such as:

• Stick with the routine as much as possible. Keep stressful holiday shopping and eating out to a minimum; start preparing for Christmas early to avoid holiday anxiety.
• Ask your children what makes them feel better. Do they wind down with music, reading, spending time with you or playing with siblings? To help children calm down at Christmas, encourage them to do what they love
• Talk to your children about traditions and spirituality. If you believe in Christ, focus on the real meaning of Christmas - and trusting God. If you have traditions, explain why they've stayed in your family.
• Make sure your children eat nutritious foods, drink lots of water, and get exercise. Reducing kids' holiday stress looks similar to minimizing your own holiday anxiety.
• Bring a favorite blanket or stuffed animal if you're staying with family over the holidays. A bit of home will reduce your child's holiday anxiety.

Another tip they add that I think is really important (and often difficult to do) is "Cope with your own holiday anxiety. The less Christmas stress you feel, the more relaxed your children will be."

The holidays often come with trips in the car or airplane, which can be stressful on kids (and parents alike). To keep things from getting too crazy, follow these tips:

• Give 'em time - Allow lots of time so you don't have to rush from point A to point B, unnecessarily stressing everyone out. Allow time for potty breaks, diaper changes, unexpected car sickness, getting out to stretch, etc.
• Keep 'em fed - Pack lots of healthy snacks for the kids to eat while you drive/fly.
• Keep 'em entertained - Pack a variety of toys, games, books, coloring books, markers (Crayola Color Wonder markers and books are great for travel because the color only shows up on the special paper). You can even wrap small presents for the child to unwrap on the way. You might also consider investing in a portable DVD player so the child(ren) can watch a movie here and there.
• Keep a good attitude and your sense of humor and your children will likely follow suit.

There are more Tips for Airplane Travel with Small Children at Mother Words.

Another tip that I really like is to learn relaxation techniques with your children. This will serve you both well during the holidays and throughout the year. The article Holiday Stress! Are children affected? states:

Colds are contagious and so is stress. Children are affected by stress of their own and pick up on family stresses. This includes holiday stress. So how do we promote calmness in our family and increase our chances of staying healthy during the holidays?

The Mental Health Association recommends counteracting stress by maintaining a positive outlook, focusing on activities that take your mind off your worries and taking time to relax.

Instead of telling your child to go "calm down" this holiday season, I invite you to give them the tools they need to manage stress and anxiety. Introduce your children to breathing, visualizations and affirmations during this holiday season.

All you need to do is read a relaxation book to your child that shows them how to manage their own energy, stress and anxiety. Play a guided imagery CD that's creates calming images. Sit down and write affirmations with your child. Make it fun by hiding your positive, calm statements in your pockets or under your pillows. Take time to look in your children's eyes as they speak to you. Try it for 10 minutes a day. Sit still and hold their hand as you listen to holiday music. Watch the ripple effect of calmness as it makes its way through your family.

In Midwest Moms' post How to Avoid Thanksgiving Stress, she has some suggestions on how to make introductions between your kids and unfamiliar relatives a little less stressful for the kids.

I have found it is best to give children a chance to "make friends" with new relatives in whatever way they are most comfortable. Sometimes that means that it will take time to warm up to someone new.

When you are introducing someone to your child, do so in a way that reveals important information about the new adult -- not potentially embarrassing information about your child. Saying, "Aunt Doris used to fly airplanes!" can intrigue your child and get them to ask questions.

We usually make the introductions easier on our kids in two ways. We arrive early, so they're meeting people one-at-a-time. And we arrange to meet relatives we know well and all walk in together. It can be a lot less intimidating to meet people when you are already surrounded by friends.

In Jolene Park's recent guest post on Mile High Mamas called Beat the Holiday Stress, she suggests the use of Rescue Remedy both for adults and kids (and even pets). Jolene notes, "Rescue Remedy is part of the Bach Flower essences, which are extracts from flowers and used to balance emotions. They can be purchased in any health food store." Personally, I've used Rescue Remedy for both myself and my children and highly recommend it.

No matter what your plans are this holiday season, try to remember to keep your own stress level down and your sense of humor up and your kids will benefit as much as you will.

More BlogHer.com Parenting posts:

• Bad Toys, Bad Toys, Whatcha Gonna Do?
• "I Left My 2-Year-Old at the Playground"
• Does Everybody Really Hate Mommy?
• The Awesomely Awesome My Parents Were Awesome Blog

BlogHer.com contributing editor Amy Gates blogs about green living, attachment parenting, activism and life with an anxiety disorder at Crunchy Domestic Goddess.