I Love My Friend—But Not Her Kid

Brat? Who me?Do you know a mom you love, but you hate her kid? Most of the time I'm on the opposite end of this scenario. I like the kid just fine, but the mom drives me bananas. Not this time.

I love Charlotte. She's a lovely woman with a fun personality. I always laugh when I'm with her and have a lot of fun with her. She's one of those moms with lots of energy and a sunny disposition who is always up for an adventure.

I think that's why it's so hard when her son-let's just call him Damien-is such a brat.

I don't mean Damien throws the occasional temper tantrum, talks back, or breaks something. I mean this kid goes out of his way to systematically torture the children around him-physically and emotionally.

Related: 7 tips on how to get your kids to stop cursing

I think Charlotte would call him "high spirited." I would call him "psychotic."

When our boys were 4, Damien would punch Gomer in the face. Not slap or smack, but punch. In his face.

Twice I caught him doing it. The first time I brought it to Charlotte's attention and she asked Damien, "Damien, did you punch Gomer in the face?"

Damien conjured up the most angelic and innocent face I've ever seen on a child and said, "Of course not, Mommy. I love yooooou."

He hugged her and kissed her. "Oh, I love you too, sweetie. I'm sorry I had to ask you that," she replied and gave me a look that said, "Problem solved."

The second time, I cornered Damien and said to him, "I'm on to you, Mister. The next time you punch Gomer, I'm going to let him punch you back. So get ready."

Related: 13 things I think when my kid's having a tantrum

He gave me an evil smile and said, "Then I'll just hit him harder."

I didn't mention my aversion to Damien to any of our friends, because I didn't want to talk behind Charlotte's back about her child, but one day I realized I wasn't alone in my hatred of this kid.

My friend Carrie told me that her daughter, Jasmine, asked Santa to beat up Damien.

"That's all she wants for Christmas. She's scared to death of that kid," Carrie confided.

After that, several of us compared notes and quickly realized that we all felt the same exact way. We adored Charlotte, but we despised Damien and our children were deathly afraid of him!

Related: 10 ways to bully-proof your kids

Over the years I've distanced myself from Charlotte. It's the only solution. I've tried talking to her about Damien's behavior but she refuses to believe he's a problem. Gomer is terrified of him and refuses to fight back and so I have to keep them apart. It's awkward and strange to do things with just Charlotte. The other night we got together and she said, "We need to get the boys together!" I just sort of nodded and said, "Uh huh … but we're pretty busy …"

It's hard, because I like Charlotte a lot, and I'd love to do more with her, but until she can control Damien, I just can't be around her.

Do you have a friend with a child you can't stand? What would you do?

- By Jen Fisher
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