My Rookie Mom Mistake
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Somewhere between my first and second child I abandoned radical parenting and the world (or at least my kids) breathed a collective sigh of relief.
I was all up in my eldest's developmental biz from the time he was born. I was busy filling his days with tummy time, music time, reading time and tactile time. If it was suggested by Dr. Joe Blow, M.D., I made time. I cut off the pacifier and the bottle at precisely the "right" time. I didn't stop there either, I moved him to a big boy bed and began to potty train at the "right" time as well. Problem was, none of those things felt very right at the time.
For me, textbook parenting was gospel and ultimately, my greatest rookie mistake.
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Even deep in the throes of my radical parental reign, hereby knows as "The Dark Ages", I knew there wasn't a "right" time for every child. Then again, logically knowing something and believing it are two entirely different things. I denied every maternal instinct in adherence to textbook parenting; classic rookie mistake. I know there were certain developmental milestones my eldest wasn't ready for, but with mama pushing so hard to keep him on developmental track, we were left with nothing but a lot of tears and aggravation we could have all lived without. And to my eldest, Mommy apologizes for the McDonald's potty fiasco of 2004; dark, dark times.
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Evidently giving birth to Little BooBoo was the last of my pushing because once he was born, I was just tired. I was simply too tired to push developmental anything. If you want to know just how much I'm not pushing, consider that my 2 ½ year old is still sleeping in a crib and on occasion, still takes a bottle at night (don't judge…and in case you just can't help yourself, know that I'm tossing them out this weekend). As for potty training, the preschool is pushing way harder than this Mommy Friend. Little BooBoo is a smart and happy child, showing his readiness for these new developmental milestones on his own schedule and making smashing progress.
I've learned after all these years to trust my maternal instincts and help my children reach the next level based on their readiness cues. This is probably something most (if not all) of you Mommy Friends knew all along, but my journey toward this realization apparently needed to be learned the hard way.
Nobody, including the experts could know my children the way I do and my only regret is that I didn't learn the lesson earlier; dark, dark times [shudder].
While I continue to devour child development books, I am now confident enough to separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to my kids. No one could have pushed me into confident parenting any sooner than I could have pushed a reluctant toddler into potty training.
My instincts were there all along, I just needed to trust them.
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