One of my friends asked me if she could bring her baby to my wedding-an evening cocktail party. I didn't say no, but I did say it probably wasn't the best place for a baby since it would be crowded and loud and noisy and late at night. She didn't bring the baby and our relationship hasn't been the same since. Now that I'm a mom, I still think it was wrong of her to ask. But I do wonder-when is it okay to ask if your baby is welcome at an event?
I always assume that my baby is not invited unless the party-giver specifically says she is. But this hasn't always worked out.
I've had my mom drive 250 miles to babysit for me, only to show up at a party (a late-night Mardi Gras bash) and find that everyone had brought their kids along.
Conversely, I've been invited to an early afternoon event to which the hostess has expressly invited kids. I showed up with my baby, who was the only non-adult there (aside from the hostess's baby who was upstairs with the nanny).
Don't get me wrong, I don't always want to bring my baby, I'd just like to know when she's invited and when she isn't so I can make my decision from there.
I know I could "just ask," but this is sometimes very awkward because you don't want to put the hostess on the spot or make her feel uncomfortable, like my friend did with me. And in my case, I thought I had made myself pretty clear-the cocktail party invitations were sent to adults only; a second invite for a day-after the wedding party was addressed to all family members.
Have you been bringing your baby out to parties and events with you? How do you find out whether babies are welcome?
Written by Suzanne Murray at CafeMom.com