Parenting Guru: Being thankful for the life I didn't anticipate

[Editor's note: This month, Shine Parenting Gurus were asked to write about a moment over the last year that they are genuinely thankful for, whether that was a good time with their family, or a more difficult experience that made them reflect upon their lives in a new way.]

My one-and-only, beautiful daughter Sarah somehow, somehow, graduated from elementary school this year. Somehow, six years flew by me. Somehow, that little, shy child that I left, with big tears in her eyes, on that first day of kindergarten, grew into a confident, smart, beautiful, mature eleven-year-old, totally ready for the next big thing. And just like everyone said it would, it happened in the blink of an eye.

This life of ours, it isn't what I had mapped out. I did not think I would be a single parent. I did not think I'd be single as I approached forty, for that matter. I did not think I would have an only child. I did not think my only child would have a stepmother, or a stepsister, or a step-anything.

But on graduation day? I was completely overwhelmed with gratitude for this village of ours that has been so instrumental in growing her into the amazing creature that she is.

That picture?

It's me, Sarah, her dad, and her step-mom at her elementary school graduation ceremony. We did this together. We managed these incredibly important, formative years, together. And we did a fine job of it.

When I was younger, and thought about my life and how it would unfold, did I think the picture capturing this day would look like that? No. Of course not.

But I can honestly say I would not change a thing. If anything were different, it might change that beautiful young lady in the middle, and I don't want to change one single thing about her.

As I get older, I find gratitude in the most unexpected places. It's on the flip-side of my failed marriage in this case. Divorce is gut-wrenching, particularly when there is a child involved. And no, I did not give my daughter the childhood I imagined that I would, with two loving, married parents and a bunch of siblings. And heaven knows I've struggled with guilt and regret related to that. But look at that smiling face, surrounded by three parents who truly love her and are totally committed to her well-being.

I can't imagine she would be any happier, or any better adjusted, if she had grown up the way I had planned.

I'm not entirely sure why it was 5th grade graduation that brought into crystal clear focus how good life is, and how much I have to be thankful for when it comes to my daughter's upbringing. But I knew that I could not take complete credit for this great kid. That this was a true team effort.

I'm genuinely thankful my life didn't follow the path I had mapped out, and I'm genuinely thankful for my ex-husband, his wife, and his wife's daughter, and for the love and joy they bring to my daughter's life.