Parenting Guru: Bringing Italy to Mom
My mother dreamed of traveling to Italy since she was a small girl. She grew up in a bilingual household with Italian parents and Nona who spoke no English. Her childhood was filled with the scents and tastes of regional dishes from Northern Italy, and the sounds of Italian arias and Neapolitan folk songs sung at family gatherings.
As I grew up, I often heard my mother sadly remark that she might never see Italy. The dream trip did elude her year after year. Financial struggles were a major challenge. When my mother became a widow at age 49, it understandably took a lot out of her. We didn't hear her talk about Italy for a long time.
That's why it was such a wonderful thing when, on the eve of turning 60, our mother announced she was booking a top-of-the-line guided tour to Italy with friends. My siblings and I were absolutely thrilled by the news. Our joy inspired us to come up with a special surprise for Mother's Day that year.
Mom thought she was coming over for a simple Mother's day gathering, but behind the scenes, an Italian café was being created in my home. With some help from family and a friend, we moved most of the living room furniture outside and in its place, set up small folding tables. Each was then covered with red and white checked table cloths and the requisite Chianti bottle and jar of bread sticks. Every day items came down off the mantel and walls, replaced with Italian ceramics and Italy travel posters we had on hand. Little white lights were strung around the room and a hostess table was set up by the front door. A pooled together collection of opera and Neapolitan songs my mother would love stood ready for play.
As mom walked up the drive, accompanied by her beloved Italian uncle, she was greeted first by the sound of Pavarotti drifting out the windows. Next she saw the red, green and white door sign saying "Buon Viaggio Mama!" (Happy trip Mom!) We could hear her on the front porch, her voice going up an octave as she said "What is going on here?"
My young niece greeted her at the "hostess station" with a menu and "table for two?" My brother and I were standing at attention, dressed in red and white themed attire as waiter and chef. Other friends and family were already seated at tables. Everyone cheered as mom took it all in and started to cry and laugh at the same time.
Next, I disappeared into the curtained-off kitchen to finish preparing and plating our four-course meal. My brother poured the wine (and Italian sodas) with waiter-like flair while everyone perused the fun menus we had created in Italian and English. I cooked with a grin, listening to mom read the entire menu out loud in both languages, enthusiastically commenting on each planned course.
That night we feasted family style on simple favorite dishes: minestrone (a family recipe), caprese salad, chicken piccata with penne. For dessert, we offered a simple gelato or tiramisu. Over dinner, there was lots of chuckling about the back of the menu which offered my mother helpful travel phrases in Italian and English like "Slow down taxi driver, I'm going to vomit!" and "Please, stop pinching me, sir."
And while corny, we all enjoyed toasting each other with "a la familia!" My mom, in true mom fashion, welled up once again.
When mom returned from Italy -- "the most meaningful trip of her life" -- she created travel photo albums that began with images of her meal at our little family ristorante. While planned in great detail, the evening had not been that difficult or expensive to execute. For all of us, it was a fun, loving, successful event.
This Mother's Day, consider creating your own surprise destination cafe, transporting your mother, grandmother, or other special mother in your life to a place that is near and dear to her -- without the cost of travel. Your in-house cafe might showcase a country of origin, or perhaps a city she absolutely adores (just think of the great cafes one might create for New Orleans, New York, Miami or Santa Fe!) Brainstorm with family the sounds, sights, smells and tastes of that destination. Simple, cost-friendly (even free) things like regional colors, music, and lights can all help create the scene (and you'll be surprised by what you already have on hand to support your theme). Best of all, kids and grand-kids of all ages will enjoy getting in on the restaurant act to surprise Mom/Grandma.
What destination and "chef's special" would you create for your mom or another special mother in your life?
