Parenting Guru: Give the Gift of Experience

I just splurged and bought my 6-year-old son a gift he'll always remember. It will dance and march and swirl about him in a dreamlike sequence, spinning tales of wonder in his sweet little head. He'll be wearing his much detested collared shirt but when he sinks into the velvety softness of the seat that will be his at San Francisco Ballet Nutcracker, he'll be thinking not of that shirt, but of Clara and Fritz and the Mouse King.

Of course, then my little boy will want me to buy him a nutcracker toy but the point is that the number of presents beneath our tree will be tempered by experience gifts, unwrapped and ready to go.

Experience gifts need no storage in our already cramped playroom. Time spent alone with mama never needs a shelf.

This is how I stay sane during the crazy holidays. I don't indulge my inner desire to hit the mall and go crazy; instead, I make a list of experience gifts and see what we might be able to do as a family.

You might not want to deny your children their top 5 items on their holiday wish list, but when sleepy heads are not nestled in pillow pets, you might want to get your kids out and about -- and in life. Unlike the experience birthday party, the experience holiday gift is for my kids alone so it doesn't break the bank.

Theater Tickets
This has been a theater going year for my family, with the Nutcracker performance punctuating the year with a flourish. Theater tickets are a wonderful way of exposing children to the arts; it's storytelling come to life beyond the electronic screen. There are so many family friendly productions around, at wallet friendly prices. Even the Nutcracker is performed at the community level, with shorter dance sequences to appeal to young attention spans.

Fearless Adventurers
One of the most common childhood dreams involves flight. While it might not involve Quidditch, a trip to an indoor sky diving establishment might come close. When my boys are not pretending to fly, they are climbing everywhere they should not, so we might head to a nearby climbing wall for a true rock climbing challenge.

Museum Memberships
This is a terrific gift that keeps on giving. Museum memberships are good for an entire year and provide cultural enrichment. While my mother derives great joy from the gifts she's carefully selected and wrapped for her grandchildren, I've also hinted that a museum membership would be most appreciated... by me!
I'm always on the lookout for fun and educational places to go with the kids.

Ladies Who Lunch
When I was a little girl, I had a porcelain tea set and hosted tea parties with my friends and our stuffed animals. Tea houses are wonderful places for future young ladies to feel grown up. There are many tea houses around the country filled with beautiful things like demitasse cups and Victorian lace. Bring three generations of women together for afternoon tea and create lasting memories. Or bring out great-grandma's tea set and host a tea party at home.

Laser Tag
My boys would think a trip to a tea house punishment, so we might indulge them with a game of laser tag. Laser tag is an unbelievably popular birthday party event for (mostly) boys age 8 and up. If you're like me and cringe at the thought of giving your sons toy weapons, laser tag is a harmless way of indulging the good guy/bad guy thing. Besides, we call it tagging, not shooting. Ahem.

Giving to Others
While this won't do as a standalone experience gift, there's something so inherently rewarding in learning to give to others. Get your children involved in random acts of kindness and watch the ripple grow. Donate to Toys for Tots. Offer to sweep an elderly neighbor's walkway. Visit a charity and see how you can help. Learning to help others is a gift, though I'm not sure how my kids will react when they accompany me to a charity to donate brand new Zhu Zhu Pets I know they'd rather keep for themselves.

Spending Time Together
Does Grandpa like to garden? Does grandma like to bake? Design a coupon that allows a child private one on one time in the garden with grandpa, planting seeds. Design a coupon for a private baking lesson with grandma, good for a dozen family secret cookies.

The gift of experience does not have to be expensive. It's the gift of time well spent. It's the gift that needs no wrapping. It's the gift that grows.

Be creative. Cross one material gift off your shopping list and add one experience gift. It might help save your sanity.

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Akemi Bourgeois is mom to twin boys. They live in the Bay Area. She writes at Chalk and Cheese Chronicles and is the editor of Mad About Multiples. Also find her on the newly launched Technorati Women.