Parenting Guru: O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree...

[Editor's note: This month, Shine Parenting Gurus are sharing their tips on how they get through the holiday season without losing their wits and patience. Have a tip to add? Join in!]

When a tree falls in the house, does it make a sound? The answer, of course, is yes. Especially if it's the family Christmas tree, decorated to the hilt, and it comes crashing down within an hour of when I finish adorning it. It turns out that sometimes those fancy Christmas tree stands are not as reliable as the method my family used growing up: tying the top of the tree to a nearby window handle or door knob with rope. Hindsight is 20/20.

Anyway, that was the day my holiday stress was at its max. My kids and husband stood around helplessly, as my tears mixed with the shards of all the fancy ornaments strewn all over the living room carpet. "Now I have to start all over again", I thought, heartbroken at the mess and the lost decorations. "Get me a broom", I barked. One of my sons - the optimist - reassured me, "It'll be OK , Mom. We have lots more ornaments in the basement." And off he went to retrieve a box from our storage room.

As my husband righted the tree and my other son hunted for string, I tried to turn my attitude around. I put the Charlie Brown Christmas Special soundtrack on the stereo, cranked up the volume, and restrung the lights. Only this time, instead of doing it myself, the entire family pitched in. We marveled at how some of the ornaments, nestled in the branches had survived the fall. They included some of my favorites, so my despair lifted a bit. The majority of the ornaments that had fared the best turned out to be the homemade ones or the cheap plastic ones that my twins used to hang on the bottom branches when they were 4 or 5.

As the years had passed, somehow the tree had become my sole responsibility and at some level, the joy of decorating it had lost some of its luster. The crashing tree and the flurry of joint activity that followed actually brought us back to our original family ritual of decorating the tree together. We had lots of laughs as we pulled out all sorts of handpainted, barely recognizable figures or misspelled Christmas messages that I had kept in a separate box for safekeeping. Nostalgic shouts of "Hey, I remember making this at school," or "I used to be SO into Pokemon" filled the air. What had begun as a disaster turned out to be a blessing.

So now, whenever I get stressed out by the holidays, I think about the lesson of that Christmas. No fancy ornament or perfectly decorated tree is worth as much as the joy of sharing the simple pleasures of the season as a family.