Parenting Guru: Opting out of holiday madness

Clare

[Editor's note: This month, Shine Parenting Gurus are sharing their tips on how they get through the holiday season without losing their wits and patience. Have a tip to add? Join in!]



When I saw this Parenting Guru assignment I was really stumped. I don't stress during the holidays. Really, I don't.

So, I set out to discover why that was. What is my secret? How do I sail through the holiday season without ever feeling frazzled, or losing my wits or my patience?

I thought about this for awhile and then came to the following realization: I opt out of a lot of it.

I don't do a lot of shopping. As a matter of fact, I avoid the mall and all things like it during this time and do 90% of my Christmas shopping online. I don't go overboard on gifts. I decline some party invitations if my calendar starts looking too full. I don't do a lot of decorating. I'm not the mom who bakes and decorates sugar cookies with her daughter. (But I'm happy to go buy some!)

Is my kid kind of getting the shaft here? Oh maybe. But she still absolutely loves this season and lights up on Christmas morning.



We love to snuggle up on the couch with hot chocolate and watch Christmas movies, preferably with a fire in the fireplace, and we both look forward to that time together every year. She loves to help me cook, and has specific foods she gets excited about. We love to drive around and look at Christmas lights. We like to make the dog wear antlers at least once. We listen to Christmas music for the entire month of December, and we sing loudly to it.

I made a very conscious decision not to feel guilty that I am not the mom who goes all out during the holidays. As a working, single mom, sometimes I even have to miss the parties at school. And I don't feel so guilty about that anymore either. My daughter certainly has to deal with disappointment sometimes, but is that such a terrible thing? Ultimately, she knows without a doubt that I love and adore her, even if I can be slightly Grinch-like (lazy?) during the holiday season.

I love what these holidays stand for, whatever your religious beliefs are. I love getting together with my family. I love a loud, full house that smells like turkey and pecan pie. I love it when we start new traditions, as we surely did this year, with the Great Thanksgiving Citrus War of 2010. (Imagine lemons and key limes flying through the kitchen causing chaos and destruction.) Clearly, I even kind of love a mess.

But I don't love being frazzled, or stressed, or losing my patience. I don't want this time to be about the accoutrements of the season, I want this time to be about the season. So yeah. I opt out of the things that might cause me to stress out and I enjoy the more simple pleasures that this most wonderful time of the year has to offer.