Parenting Guru: Planes, Trains and Automobiles (with kids)

Photos by Diana Dull Akers
Photos by Diana Dull Akers

As the official vacation coordinator in our house, many of my travel planning meltdowns have centered around "transportation firsts" for our daughter -- her first plane ride, first train ride, and first long distance car ride. Having now survived each of these, I can share lessons my husband and I learned about kid travel with each mode of transportation:

PLANES

  1. Read first flight books before traveling. Local libraries offer a variety of books aimed at preparing kids for taking their first flight. We found these truly helpful in preparing our daughter for air travel. First, Maya grew excited to experience such travels herself. Second, she was less surprised when we faced airport lines, security checks, engine noises, and turbulence since these had been described in kid-friendly stories up front.

  1. Pack a "Mommy's Surprise Bag." It's a given that we'll need to pack kid-friendly snacks, security items, and books/toys when we travel with kids. But several friends tipped m

    e off to the great-bang-for-the-buck trick of packing a "Mommy's surprise bag" for Maya's first flight. A quick trip to a book store and dollar store and I had a dozen small books, toys and interesting thing-a-majigs for Maya. Wrapping them doubled her kiddie joy. Surprises were doled out one on the half hour, with fanfare. She was thrilled and played happily with each item. I couldn't help but notice that other Mommies looked longingly at my Surprise Bag while their children squirmed, cried and kicked seats. I was so glad Maya was an angel!

  1. Don't forget you have a return flight, too. Oops. What can I say? Somehow all my neurotic planning about Maya's first flight had blinded me to the reality that we had TWO flights to contend with, not one. I learned the hard way that Mommy's Surprise Bag trick falls flat when none of its contents are surprises on the return flight. Maya squirmed, cried, and kicked the seat the whole way home.

TRAINS

  1. Children can be "train fanatics" in theory only.

    Like many kids, our daughter was all about trains for an entire year. Her second birthday party was train-themed from the games to the gifts to the cake. Parents and children wore conductor hats. She got a Thomas ride-on train set as her big gift. So when we took her to a local state park offering the Thomas steam train ride, we figured she'd be thrilled. Not so much. Didn't you notice? Trains are huge! Blasts of unexpected steam are scary! Train whistles are too loud! And the kindly gentleman conductor who tried to shake her hand? Fuggedaboutit.

  1. Trains = Parents-as-Seatbelts.

    Trains, like school buses, seem to laugh in the face of danger. Children used to being restrained by five-point safety devices become downright giddy when they realize they are riding on a huge moving train without a safety strap in sight. In essence, I learned that with trains, I am the safety harness. Holding on tight to my little girl? Kind of tiring. Kind of nerve-wracking. But admittedly, kind of special, too.

AUTOMOBILES

  1. Your pre-parent driving experiences are not relevant. Yeah, fine, you've put chains on cars in the snow in the past. Did you do it with a kid squalling in her car seat while you were outside freezing and swearing? Or perhaps you say "hey, I've driven from San Francisco to Disneyland 100 times; I can make the drive in 5.5 hours if we jet up Highway 5." Let it go, I say. Your old driving records have no meaning now. Add at least half as many hours to your driving time. You've got potty breaks. Food breaks. More potty breaks. Melting down kid breaks. Gas station breaks that become yet another potty break (and a battle with your kid who is howling for the nutritious array of snacks in the Quick Stop.) Toss in the commute traffic you just hit because you miscalculated your driving time, and face it, you're getting to Disneyland in nine hours, arriving in the dark.

  1. Pack a "Barf Kit." To the best of my knowledge, there is no such thing as a "barf kit" on the market, but there should be. (I may have just come up with my next business venture.) We weren't blind to the potential of projectile vomiting when we took Maya on her first long car trip to Disneyland. All day car

    rides, back seat realities, kiddie snacks and lunches en route - it's a recipe for a Technicolor explosion. Yet we had to learn the hard way (just once!) that a change of clothes and wet wipes is not sufficient. You need heavy duty cleaning items for vomit in car mats, seat crevices, and the back of your headrest. If you're rich you can toss vomit-covered kiddie clothes without care, but otherwise you need strong garbage bags to triple-bag the offending items until you hit a Laundromat. And unless you plan to keep all windows open, you need travel-sized air fresheners and disinfectants too. Oh, and something for the little one to rinse out the yucky taste, too. Yup, check out the back of our car. We now come packin' with a Barf Kit. [Note: Such vomiting events add about another 30 minutes to your drive; see #1 above.]

  1. You said it as a kid and so will they. Scientific research has shown that all children on car drives of more than 15 minutes are genetically wired to say "I'm bored," "Are we there yet?" and "I want to get out now." There is no known cure. Sure, you can try messing with their heads. One time I replied "Sorry, we won't get there until next week." This crafty bit of reverse psychology actually worked once with Maya. When I assured her it was actually only another few hours left to go, she replied "That's better!" and seemed pleased. Of course, twenty minutes later she was bored and wanted to get out.

Bring on the family fun cruise ships; I'm ready.