Parenting Guru: Send those kids to camp!

My daughter spends a full month every year on the banks of the Guadalupe River in the beautiful Texas hill country. The activities she has done while there include horseback riding, archery, riflery, trick roping (hey, it is Texas), fencing, soccer, golf, drama, chorus, art...and many more.

Whoa, rewind...a month you say?!

Yes. She goes to camp for a month. And it is one of the very best things I provide for her.

People seem to be about 50-50 split in their reaction to a month of summer camp. I think about half think sending my child away for a month constitutes child abuse and means I don't love my daughter, and about half understand what a uniquely wonderful experience and opportunity it is for her.

I am a single mom raising an only child. We are very close. And I am a mom who believes that my job as a parent is to raise my daughter to be a happy, well-adjusted, independent adult. And because we are so close, I think it is very important that she be confident and happy away from me. At camp, she is in a very safe and fun environment, away from me.

She lives in a cabin with six or seven other girls her age, and a counselor. In addition to dealing with the occasional bout of homesickness (which was rare this year, her third year), she also has to learn how to deal with and manage her cabinmates. Learning how to manage people is one of the more important life skills, and camp is a great place for it, particularly for my only child who does not have to manage any siblings.

The camp Sarah goes to is an all girls camp. When I decided to send her, another part of my motivation was to provide her with a break every year, for an extended period of time, from all of the distractions that boys can be. I wanted (want) her to have a place where she can go and be a girl, without worrying what the boys will think. She has that.

At camp, she has no access to the internet, cell phones are banned, there is no television. She is completely unplugged for a month. We communicate with each other the old fashioned way, through snail mail, and I get to see a different side of her in her writing, and I love that.

This year there was a benefit I had not anticipated. Sixth grade was a tough year for her. It's hard to be twelve. There was lots of drama among her friend group and she could not get to camp fast enough this year. She wanted a break from that drama, and she wanted to be with her camp friends. I love that she has a great peer group outside of her school friends.

All of the campers draw for a "tribe" their first year, a la Harry Potter and the sorting hat. There are three tribes, and the competition is fierce, and fun. I love watching the girls giving it their all to win the plaque for their tribe. Sarah's tribe, the Tejas, won the plaque for the first time since 2006 this year and the girls were completely overjoyed and proud of themselves.

Ah and for me as a mama...I get richly rewarded for surviving a month without her. When we see each other, for the first time in a month, it is the sweetest time I have ever experienced in my life. We both cry happy, happy tears. The moment is so sweet that I want desperately to bottle it up and keep it forever. She is always a little taller, a little blonder, a little stronger, and happy. She loves camp so much, and she also loves to see me again when it's over.

If you can send your kids to camp, I highly recommend you do it. Yes, you will miss them and they will miss you, but the benefits far outweigh that temporary discomfort. My daughter started out, at age 7, going for a week and did that a couple of years before attending her first month-long session.

So where do you fall in the 50-50 split? Is it terrible to send a child away for a month or is it a wonderful opportunity? And before you say terrible, take a look at that happy and healthy kid in the picture.

Clare is a Shine Parenting Guru. A single working mama to a twelve-year-old daughter, Clare is hanging on for dear life and navigating adolescence to the best of her ability, and she likes to write about it. Read more from her at Life on the C Train.