Parenting Guru: To the Aunties on the Sidelines

Akemi

I'm running off the field in my maroon soccer uniform, cleats full of mud, heading toward a huddle of my teammates when I spy her out of the corner of my eye, standing along the sideline, next to my parents.

"Hi," I say, running up for a quick hug before rejoining the huddle.

I'm at a quaint little Inn, on a family vacation. I head to the garden to join the others, all of us sipping on cool drinks and she smiles at me, motioning for me to sit next to her.

I'm at her house and it's Thanksgiving and I hear her laughter rise to join the aromas of good things cooking. I plop in front of the TV and enjoy the familiar surroundings.

I'm walking down the aisle with a partner I don't like, but who matches me in height. I grab my diploma and turn briefly to face the audience, feeling victorious. Miraculously, I spot my family and she's there, beside my mom, waving.

I'm waddling around, a belly full of twins, ready to burst and she visits, putting her hand on my belly, then on my uncle's matching belly and she shrugs, a twinkle in her eye.

I'm driving and it begins to sprinkle and my thoughts turn to them, the aunties on the sidelines. From the sidelines, they watched my games, they watched my graduations, they watched me have babies and they did all this when they, too, had busy lives as parents and grandparents ... and now, they are gone.

I was busy growing up, living my life and moving on, thinking all the while that the aunties were like photographs, frozen in their prime, always looking the same, always present in my life.

But time marched on for us all and as I grew up, the aunties on the sideline marched along with time as well. Time has a funny way of distorting perspective. In my mind, I may have aged but the aunties? They stayed the same.

Oh, how I wish they could be as they were, cheering from the sidelines, laughing over the stove and rubbing my big belly, a lifetime still ahead of them.

I miss the aunties on the sideline.

I'm a mother and an auntie myself now. I can be the auntie on the sideline, cheering on the children I hold dear, as they rush past me to greet their friends. They might not show me all the appreciation I deserve, but I know from experience that everyone needs an auntie on the sideline.

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Akemi Bourgeois is a Yahoo! Parenting Guru and mom to twin boys. They live in the Bay Area. She writes at Chalk and Cheese Chronicles and edits the blog, Mad About Multiples. She is an editor of at Technorati Women. Follow her on Twitter: svtwinmom.