Telling your child to go tell someone you're sorry after they have bit, hit, or hurt another child right after the incident has occurred is the dumbest parenting tool you can use. They aren't sorry they did what they did. Not right away anyway.
I witnessed first hand how a child can manipulate a mother the other day. I understand all children learn to manipulate their parents at some point but this is ridiculous. The setting is a large field where multiple groups of cheerleading teams are practicing. The scene is my friend and I sitting in camp chairs chatting it up while watching our kids practice. A couple of soccer goals are piled next to us with a small child climbing up and down on them.
At points he will hang off the nets and sit on the tops of the bars. At other points he will take the water bottle his mother gave him and pour it into his tennis shoes. She will tell him, he only gets one water. He pours some on the fence and more into his shoes. Later when she talks with a woman she knows, he is on the field pulling his pants down, exposing his backside to the public but she never notices. Finally, he walks the hundred yards back to the soccer goals and climbs back up them. As he hangs off of them, other parents whisper he is going to get hurt.
A small boy wearing a helmet is interested in what he is doing and tries to talk with him. He kicks him in the jaw. The boy looks stunned. My friend tells them they need to separate. We look towards the mother who is busy talking with her friend. She hasn't seen anything or if she has, doesn't seem to care. The little boy walks away but then comes back to tell the boy that wasn't nice of him to kick him. The boy rares back and kicks him in the chest and knocks him to the ground.
The mother finally sees what is happening and starts walking our way. When she arrives she tells the boy to tell the other sorry. He isn't sorry. He won't be until he is punished first then he may feel some remorse.
She proceeds to put him in time out where he then yells and screams while she talks on her cell phone.
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