Pushy, competitive--are dads worse than moms?

At least you keep it to yourself. I've seen Dads at the race track where my son races get into fist fights. Seriously. I've seen parents lie and cheat for/with their kids. I've seen grown men scream at their children for not going fast enough, not checking up on someone passing them (basically, this is telling the kid to throw their competitor into the wall), and not taking someone out (see: throwing competitor into a wall). I've seen parents do things they probably never would have thought about doing otherwise, all in the name of their kids "winning." It's not pretty.

Look, I think competition is a good thing. Kids need to learn to compete if they are going to survive in the world (hello? they will have to compete for college spots, jobs and girlfriends at some point in time). But, to have your parent scream at you for not winning? That's not competition and it only teaches your kid that if you try and don't succeed Daddy will be pissed off, so why bother? How about teaching them what they could work on to improve their skills and then win?

You sir, are a hypocrit. First off there's nothing wrong with what your doing. Second, you sound foolsih when you refer to dad's screaming on the sidelines as jackasses, if they are jackasses, then so are you. This is an ignorant article and I am sorry I wasted my time on it.

Manicmotherhood I hear what you are saying. However, I disagree, I know since your manic your probably hopped up on zoloft and xanax and can't handle anytype of heated discussion but that is a part of life. It is good when parents teach their kids to be competitive. That is what life is about, theres constant competition in this world, you even ackowledged it. Kids should be pushed hard to perform, unless they are talentless and the parent doesnt want to ackowledge it, which is the case in some of these overbearing parents.

I know that at Tae Kwon Do class, the dads are the worst. Case in point, the kids were supposed to be blocking the bat and one dad was screaming at his kid to hit it harder. The teacher came over and pointed to the sign that politely asks parents to be quiet and not distract the class. Then he says with a smile, "They're blocking, not hitting."

I would look at it from your daughter's point of view. Would she like you to be there if you were yelling at her to swim faster? Or would she rather you tell her how great she did after practice? I'm the type of person who is discouraged when people yell at me but there are people out there who feel encouraged. I say ask your daughter what she feels. I think its healthy to feel competitive for your daughter, after all she is the BEST thing in your world and you want the world to know who she is.

Isn't there a post on here about comment bullys?

Tony--learn to read. I said competition is good and that kids need to learn to compete. And FYI, dude, my son has been track champion 3 years out of 5. He LEARNED to race, without people screaming at him. We taught him to compete to the highest level he could without screaming, threatening or pushing him.

Tony: do you understand the meaning of the word hypocrite? also, YOU are the jackass father on the side of pool.

Please everyone just ignore the people that go on here to just rile everyone up. They're obviously on here just looking for a fight. If you respond to the, they're getting exactly what they want.

I'm a Mom and I feel this way when my son's in anything competitive. I think there's a few reasons for feeling this way. 1. We want our kids to do well and be great (or the best) in anything they do. 2. Illogically, our child's successes are our successes. If our child's a winner, we're a winner. Like I said, it's completely illogical to feel this way, but I think that most parents do. It's almost embarrasing to us when our child doesn't do well and we think it reflects badly on us as the parent. It's not right, but there it is. I try to just recognize that this is what's going on in my head and not let it come spilling out so that it effects my son and ends up hurting him. No one's perfect, but I think by just knowing that it's not right and not being in denial that this kind of behavior is okay, you're way ahead of the game and you don't run the risk of embarrassing yourself and your daughter.

Ummm I'm a mom and I do the same. My son plays hockey and my daughter runs cross country and plays basketball. My parents used to just sit and watch the games, no pointers afterwards, just "good job" no matter what, which was nice, but did not help me improve my skills. When I watch my kids, I take mental notes then we discuss after the game. Last year my daughter was getting beat in Cross country by a girl I knew she could beat. It was a mental game, after I helped my daughter come up with a running strategy, she overcame the mental "I'll never beat her" thought and kicked butt! I think it is important to help your kids out and encourage them. I try to keep it positive and I never ever say anything negative about the coaches.