I am a single (widowed) mom and my 8 year old still sleeps with me. My Mother in law continously nags to move him to his own bed...to which I politely reply "You have said yourself how well adjusted, happy and healthy my son is...and how well he has adjusted or losing his Dad so young (6). Zip your lip and let me parent my child.
My son is highly independant, excels at school, and is very self-confident....I believe largely due to the knowledge he gets the nurturing he needs when he needs it. He feels secure in the knowledge his remaining parent will be there for him.
I have allowed him to take the lead and occupy his bed when he decided he no longer needs the security of being in mine.

To A Yahoo! I couldn't have said it better myself. We have spent so much time trying to detach ourselves from our children. We are a selfish society. Bottles, daycare, crying themselves to sleep, etc. God help us all for what we have done to our children. We absoluitley cannot believe every theory that comes our way as children. We should followour God given conscience. I tried following some of these "opinions" with me first child and found myself feeling very distant from her. I found she was frustrated and so was I. I had that "something" is missing feeling. Today, I do not listen to any of them, unless I agree in my own heart. My son is 3, and I am just beginning to consider him sleeping in his own bed. My daughter is 9 and still sleeps in my bed at times. I don't mind. I like having them in my bed and feel absolutely no shame or guilt for it. We have some of our closest moments before sleep. We pray, laugh and tell stories. Life is so short already. A baby and a toddler are not independant, so why are we trying to make them that way. My son is 3 and has slept with me since birth. He is very independant. He feeds himself, dresses himself, picks up after himself, follows instructions, what more should I expect? That he get a job and pay bills? We are lour children's advocates, not these people who are so quick to put their opinions out there for the rest of us to follow. As a child I remember being traumatized with fear at night going to sleep. I literally layed ther and shook with fear. As soon as I was under the wing of my Mother, I was fine. She was my safe place. Asd I am for mine. I want to have the closest bond and trust that I can with my children. I do not want to sever trust, it is a hard thing to get back. Love is always the answer, bot the denial of. Here's to love!

What is wrong with these parents that cannot bond with their children without sleeping with them in an intimate setting meant for consenting adults??? There is no greater closeness achieved by doing this. Only feeding a parent's selfish needs. Keep your little ones in bassinets and cribs in the room until you feel secure enough and hold them when they have nightmares. Why do you feel this insecure need to attach your children to you instead of helping them feel safe and secure on their own? My younger brothers slept with my parents and my sister and I did not. Needless to say my brothers are emotionally and developmentally crippled as it went on for so long. Often familial pedophiles use this as a grooming tactic and opportunity. There has to be a healthy balance. There seems to be too many extremely needy parents sleeping with their children and using excuses to justify this behavior. I have never known a child that slept with their parents to be secure. They are usually quite the opposite much to the satisfaction of the clingy parent(s). This is about boundaries. I breast fed my son and we all know that means that no one is really sleeping during this time. If I wasn't holding him my husband was. There was a bassinet next to our bed during this time, though. Then we had a crib in our room until we felt as if he could sleep through the night. Then he got his own room and occasionally would come in for short periods of time if he had a bad dream. Usually not for very long as he would happily pad off to his own room because he got all the love and affection he needed during the day, and felt safe even a few feet away in the next room. It is hard on any parent watching their child grow up as we know eventually they will embark on a life away from us. But it is our responsibility to not instill fear and our own insecurities into their environment. I know a divorced father sleeping with his toddler and the child isn't even speaking yet and is very emotionally underdeveloped. So argue away, but I have seen all the evidence I need.

What is wrong with these parents that cannot bond with their children without sleeping with them in an intimate setting meant for consenting adults??? There is no greater closeness achieved by doing this. Only feeding a parent's selfish needs. Keep your little ones in bassinets and cribs in the room until you feel secure enough and hold them when they have nightmares. Why do you feel this insecure need to attach your children to you instead of helping them feel safe and secure on their own? My younger brothers slept with my parents and my sister and I did not. Needless to say my brothers are emotionally and developmentally crippled as it went on for so long. Often familial pedophiles use this as a grooming tactic and opportunity. There has to be a healthy balance. There seems to be too many extremely needy parents sleeping with their children and using excuses to justify this behavior. I have never known a child that slept with their parents to be secure. They are usually quite the opposite much to the satisfaction of the clingy parent(s). This is about boundaries. I breast fed my son and we all know that means that no one is really sleeping during this time. If I wasn't holding him my husband was. There was a bassinet next to our bed during this time, though. Then we had a crib in our room until we felt as if he could sleep through the night. Then he got his own room and occasionally would come in for short periods of time if he had a bad dream. Usually not for very long as he would happily pad off to his own room because he got all the love and affection he needed during the day, and felt safe even a few feet away in the next room. It is hard on any parent watching their child grow up as we know eventually they will embark on a life away from us. But it is our responsibility to not instill fear and our own insecurities into their environment. I know a divorced father sleeping with his toddler and the child isn't even speaking yet and is very emotionally underdeveloped. So argue away, but I have seen all the evidence I need.

IF YOU HAVE KIDS THAT WILL NOT SLEEP IN THERE BED TRY THIS IT WORK FOR ME. I WAS A SINGLE DAD (HIS MON MY WIFE DIED WHEN HE WAS 6)WE SLEEP TOGETHER FOR ABOUT A YEAR AFTER SHE DIED. THEN HE DIDN'T WANT TO SEE ALONE SO I MOVED HIM TO THE SOFA AND LET HIM FALL ASLEEP THERE THEN I WOULD GO TO BED. LITTLE BY LITTLE HE REALIZED HE WAS SAFE AND A BIG BOY. WELL JUST MY TWO CENTS IT WORKED FOR US. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Yeah, I'm not about to forgo sex with my husband and I'm not about to have sex near my children. So a communal bed is not going to work. That's a little sick. When they're infants, sure. Or on the occasion that they're ill and just want mommy and daddy for the one time. But regularly? That's not healthy. Plus, I need my space, my sleep, my privacy, and my husband/sexy times. That's just freaking creepy. And what are they supposed to do when they go for sleepovers or their little friends come over for the night? How are we supposed to explain that? I'm all for going against the grain, but there's something to be said for normalcy and not sabotaging your kids' social lives. Plus they really need to learn to self-soothe. You can't always let them come to mommy and daddy when they want to. It's unhealthy all the way around.

Im nearly six months pregnant, and im going to buy a co-sleeper for my baby. Im going to breastfeed, and having the baby close to you makes it easier then getting up many times at night to grab the baby. I see no problem with the baby sleeping in the bed. I think an appropriate time to try and get you child to sleep in their own room is by the age of 3. It may be rough on the child and you, but eventually it will happen. My mother breastfed my younger brother for 3 years, and he always slept in the bed with her. Not in a co-sleeper but actually in the bed. He is 5 now, and still sleeps in the bed with her, but has no problem going to sleep somewhere else. I dont neccesarily think that having your baby sleep with you in the bed will make the baby grow to be dependent and needy, it all depends on the childs personality. Its not going to hurt the baby to have sex while the baby is in the room. Having your baby close, and sleeping with you is absolutley okay.

I had a co-sleeper for my son while he breastfed. Then when he went to bottles, he slept in his own crib. It wasn't too hard on him. He is a good sleeper. But we do have a great tradition for the morning. He gets up really early, because he goes to bed so early (tried to change this to no avail). Anyway, when he wakes up, I get him from his crib and he drinks his sippy cup in bed with us. Dad sleeps, and I rub my sons back. Sometimes he falls back to sleep, sometimes him and I cuddle till dad wakes up. I wouldn't have it any other way! We considered co-sleeping and I think as long as you are safe, it is fine. :)

I am the mother of a 5 year old little boy and recently found out I am pregnant again. I am so against co sleeping. First of all it is dangerous when you have your infant sleeping in your bed. There is a reason why cribs are made and why crib mattresses are so hard. SIDS. I am all for having them in your room for the first few months in their own crib. Having your children sleep with you in your bed is the parents crazy neediness and laziness. Granted it is up to every family what works for them but I like to have my alone time when my husband and I go to bed. My son and I are extremely close and he loves his own room and feels safe in his own bed. If you think you need your kids to sleep with you to feel close to them then there is a problem. To each is own though. That is just my opinion. Also most of the families that end up on Supernanny have cosleeping issues.

From the beginning of time, human beings have been closely and intimately connected to their parents throughout childhood. The funny thing is that western (i.e., American) culture has duped parents into believing that their kids will be better off without them. We feed them with cow's milk from plastic bottles (because we all know what breasts are 'really' for, right?) We make them cry themselves to sleep until they're convinced that no one is coming to comfort them and they stop crying. We make them sleep in a room far away from us. Then suddenly they're teenagers and want nothing to do with their parents (because they're independent remember?). And we're wondering what happened? Why are they so distant? Why won't they confide in me? Now, they'd rather find comfort in inanimate objects (because after all 'things' were there instead of 'people' for comfort).

The very idea that we can teach an infant how to be "independent" shows how way off the mark we are. We think that a 'clinging' infant will make for a dependent adult? All the neurobiologists who have brainwashed us to think this way should be ashamed. Shame on them and shame on us for believing it. Want some anecdotal evidence of the harm it causes? Pick up biographies of your favorite serial killers or sociopaths and find out how they were raised. If you think that disconnecting your child from trust and security is a good idea just because the sun goes down, then this backward society thanks you....your child, however, will not.

I have a 3year old and yes she comes in to our room about 2 or 3 in the morning, sneaky little one!! Than my husand gets up and moves onto the couch in the family room and than funny I move into her room and sleep in her bed because she is a crazy kicker. We have been doing this for probably the past 6 months ahhhhhhh! She sometimes sleeps in her own room but she is a cuddel monster, and yes she always uses the excuse of nightmares.....SO ALL I CAN SAY TO EVERYONE....if you have the chance to move them into there own room when they are babies DO IT!!!!he he he

It all really depends on how dependent you are on your children or how lazy you are. We've got a 4 year girl, dependent like her cord hasn't even been cut yet or something. She took 1 month when she was about 3 yrs 4months old to get her used to sleeping by herself. Momma was having as much difficulty letting go as the child. And once she started sleeping by herself she wasn't allowed back cause she'd say she had a bad dream every night. Master manipulator. Our new born twins though only coming in the early morning when we are too lazy to get up fully at 5 am and just fed them and they want to stay or they'll keep you up crying no matter what you do. There no use in fighting at 5am. And it's pretty funny the first time you wake up and Mr. Pudgy Cheeks is snoring next to you. That won't last long though. If your kid has a room there's a reason for it. That's where they sleep and go for there peace. As you do. If you don't want your child living with at lets say 25 or maybe 35 or something then I'd suggest braking the habit before they will be able to remember it.

I am very against co-sleeping...I agree it is ok when they are very small, but when they get to the age of 2 and 3 they should be in their own bed..How is a marriage going to work if there is no adult time ever...I am actually against attachment parenting in general...this is my opinion, I do not want to see people attacking me, please. You want to practice attachment parenting that is fine but DO NOT try to push me to believe in it.

Well before I had kids I said no way are my kids ever going to sleep with me, that's what the crib is for. When my first one got pneumonia at 9 months I had him sleep with me to keep an eye on him. He slept in my bed for the next year until baby # 2 came along. #2 is pretty good about sleeping in the crib but if there is any fussing going on in the middle of the night I have no qualms about bringing her into my bed to sleep. Hey, I'm exhausted and if them sleeping with me gets me more sleep I'm all for it!

We had a co-sleeper bassinet, so our son wasn't IN the bed with us, but right next to us. We got him a crib and moved him to his own room at 7 months. It was harder on me than it was on him, so I would suggest to avoid the problem maria0451 describes, just move them before age 1 and you're probably ok. We did this mainly because we were in a small place and didn't have room for him to have a crib and his own room at first. Also because we didn't have enough money for a crib (the bassinet was under $100). I think every family should do what works for them and what's best for them, and that's why I think emilynetflix is a little stuck up. Some of us have no problem having sex with a sleeping baby next to us, and certainly not a problem discussing politics *shudder* in front of our kid.

I think children should be closely related to parents.Leaving them apart from childhood make them selfcentered.

I think it really depends on the temperment and needs of both parents and children. To some parents, keeping their bedroom 'adults only' is more important, some don't care. Some kids are good sleepers, some aren't and some need more closeness and some are more independent. Whatever fits the family is fine. The only thing I wouldn't reccommend is the 'cry it out' or Ferber method - I agree with whoever said that letting infants and toddlers scream their heads off until they realize no one is coming doesn't lead to anything good. And to the poster who described his 4 year old as a 'master manipulator' - you might want to consider that she is using her (at this age very limited) means to try to get her needs met. I've found that whenever I feel like I'm being 'played' by my toddler, I just have to remember that I'm the adult and he's the kid - he doesn't have the emotional control or tools yet to always do things the 'right' way and kids love to test limits. It's not anything malicious or planned at that age.

No way! When do the parents have sex, or have adult conversations - ie, not discussing potty training or bottles, but life and politics and the world? When do married people get to focus on the most important people in their lives - each other?

Nope. Kids sleep in their own beds, far, far away from the grown-ups.

Andddd... my daughter will be three and she still breastfeed!! ...lol

I am all for the family bed. I don't have to defend it, and I won't. IT works for our family and we wouldn't have it any other way