Reader poll: Is your child one of the 40% born out of wedlock?

I wish people would lay off the judgements. As moms, we should support each other. My first daughter was the result of a violent sexual assault. I was a 19 year old virgin. Because of complications during delivery, I had an emergency hysterectomy. This turned out to be a wonderful blessing, because when she was 4, I adopted her 6 y/o sister. My girls didn't know it, but they were helping me to heal. I stayed single until they were 8 and 10. I wasn't ready to be with a man, and for my older, adopted daughter, who had been abused, it was best to stay single. When we had both reached a point when we werer emotionally healthy, I got married. Now I have a stepdaughter. Having experienced single and married parenting, I can say both have their benefits. I love being married, but sometimes I miss our all girl household. I believe I am closer with my girls because of it.

I am surprised by " 75% of those births to women over the age of 20." Usually women in their mid twenties are far more knowledgeable about their bodies and methods of birth control and the dangers of STDs.

I hope this is part of a healthy trend. I also hope that these single moms are capable of supporting that child emotionally and financially. Far too often that is not the case. Many single women continue to bring more children into this world when they are still watering down the formula for another child.

Nony, there was a study published in Self Magazine (I know, not the most scientific source) that talked about unplanned pregnancy in women in their twenties. It is astounding how little women actually know. Look at the other Shine post that talks about a girl who thinks she may be pregant from anal sex.

why is it that after years and years of living together,when a couple finally ties the knot can only stand to be married for a short time?

I had all five of my kids out of wedlock. I was young and wild then and had no kind of intentions of marrying anybody!! I grew up under the assumption that all a man was good for was making a kid. After I got pregnant, I didn't care if the father wasn't around.I was so naive and full of myself. I can't believe how stupid I was then!! Fortunately, the fathers of my babies did stick around whether I wanted them to or not. I had a job and was working and still getting help from Social Services and not dealing with issues that I should have dealt with. Today, even though I love all my babies I still wished that I could have waited but things were different back then for me and thanks to therapy, I have changed a lot!!!

I got pregnant a month after we got married. There were some people who doing the numbers but waited till marriage before we had sex. Being a mom is a full time job for me and I dont know how most single mothers do it. When my hubby comes home my little one runs in his arms and I run out the door to the fitness room.

What's wrong with having a child "out of wedlock"? Many modern couples live together but choose not to marry because it is an outdated and archaic tradition, and also for making a social statement because not everyone is allowed to get married under the current laws so they won't either, etc. Who cares?

Kim: Marriage is as sacred as you make it. Why do you assume that you can't have a good marriage?

I'm one of the many who has a beautiful child out of wedlock. Still living together with her father, being a family. Honestly if we're going to talk about numbers here, lets talk about the 50% divorce rate. Honestly, I think the children who don't have to go through divorce are a lot worse off than those who are born out of wedlock.

My child was bormn out of wedlock. Her father and I were together very happily for 2 years when we had her. It is now three years later and we JUST got married. Because we are happy together and have been for five years. Just an example that this story only studies the marital status not the relationship status.

There are a lot of men as well as women that choose not to want to have kids. That is why they are on the dating sites... I don't know of many people going on web sites looking for a "baby daddy". Obviously Luna is or has done something like that. Which in turn is pathetic, I'm sorry I'm lowering myself to your level. My point is that Jamie Spears and Bristol Palin will not be in the system for public asistance. The only person who can and should be blamed are the parents, we are the backbone of our kids until they grow and develop their own. People are so worried about teen pregnancy that you are blind to the bigger problem, DRUGS, Drinking and driving.... Don't lose sight of the real problem, because that is what is wrong with America today; too many have already lost sight because they are to worried about the neighbor's kids instead of worrying about their own.... Miss Luna I hope you can let go of your anger 'cause it's people like you that keep hate going in this world.... GOD BLESS

I fall into a few categories. I had my oldest son at 16 years old. I was taking the birth control pill when he was conceived. My second at 18 years old. She was conceived while I was taking the birth control shot. And then my youngest at 24 years. All three of my kids were born out of wed lock. WHO CARES! Their father and I are still together. We have been married for 1 and a half years. We have an awesome family. There was no need for us to rush marriage. We love each other and know that we will spend the rest of our lives together. We did start our family young but have raised our children since the day they were born. We own a house, have three cars and three wonderful kids who now are 10 yrs., 8 yrs., and 2 yrs. We couldn't be more happy. You really need to look into life stories and not statistics.

No, because we are too lazy to deal with extra paperwork as we would if we were not married.

I don't see the point of this article. Sometimes people who are not married have a child. Is it up to us to determine whether it's right or wrong? No. The end.

Sam-- My pregnancy was PLANNED. I got pregnant on purpose because we wanted to have a child together. I agree with you there are a lot of stupid people out there --but what I am saying is there a lot of people in happy committed relationships who live together for years and years just like married people do having children . When we got married after 7 years the only thing that changed was my last name. Not all these babies that are born out of wedlock are born as a result of careless one night stands to women who are welfare and having one baby after another with 3 or 4 different men.

I don't care if you are a single parent male or female, as long as you can afford it and you are a good parent that is all that counts and more power to you. Sometimes one good parent is better then two that are married.

This story also does not say anything about the women like me. I had my son and then was married to his father 3 months later. My brother-in-law was the same way with his and his wifes first child. She was born and about 2-3 months later they we're married.

I was 24 when my son was born out of wedlock 10 yrs ago and me and my significant other have been together now for 16 yrs. our son was planned, we both have great jobs. We have never been on public assistance. I don't believe being married has anything to do with teen pregnancy it all has to with whether or not you have time to be a responsible parent and stress the importance of what irresponsible, careless sex can and will cause. Those of you who are shaking your head saying this lady doesn't know what she is saying are the ones saying my son/daughter wouldn't do something like that. Sweep the dirt out from your own doorstep before throwing it on someone else's.

Springtime-- Who says we aren't knowledgeable about our bodies, birth control & STD's? I was 28 when my daughter was born "out-of wedlock" and she was planned! In fact it took 6 months of trying to get pregnant after I had a miscarriage the first time. My daughter was very much wanted by both me and her daddy who is now my husband. F.Y.I. we lived together for 7 years before we got married and have been married for 4 years. By the way we both had good jobs and supported her without any assistance.

Well I conceived both of my childen out of wedlock, the second child was a surprise which came while planning our wedding. We planned for the first child and are both very responsible. Marriage is just a piece of legal paper, it says nothing about your committment to each other and your children