School Projects Should Just Be Called "Parent Projects"

I hate doing these projects. School projects ought to be called "parent projects" since that's what they pretty much are.

My son is in the 4th grade and has already done at least seven major projects in his elementary career. I, I mean he has done projects on plant life cycles, famous Americans, prehistoric life, and a bunch of other stuff I can't remember right now.

While these school projects are surely educational (at least in theory), they are also surely the parents' responsibility. Often these projects are rather complex, involving photos, research, and multiple trips to the craft store.

Below you will find a nifty pie chart illustrating the use of my time as it pertains to school projects:

I hate doing these projects.

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The 1/3 where I try to make it look like my child did the work is arguably the most difficult usage of my time. I've found using scissors with my left hand to look surprisingly authentic…I kid, I kid…or do I?

Look, I obviously don't want to rob my child of an opportunity to learn. I speak from gobs of personal experience when I say the last thing I want is my kid sitting on the sidelines of his education.
I hate doing these projects.
I remember in the 4th grade I had to build a model of Mission San Juan Capistrano. My engineer dad was "helping" me with this assignment only he wouldn't dare use materials like sugar cubes and popsicle sticks, child please. My dad had to create a blueprint of his design, construct it out of cardboard (to scale no less) and then cover it with textured clay. I sat there and watched; maybe I glued something, maybe not.

Then in the 6th grade I had to make a cross-section model of the sun. I, err, my dad created a sun replica complete with a core that lit up. It lit up people! You pressed a freaking button on the base of the model and the core lit up like an actual ball of fire! And he only stopped there because pyrotechnics were expressly prohibited.

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I hate doing these projects. As a child, I was never personally inclined to draft schematic and wiring diagrams for school projects but my dad sure was. And by the way, I'm pretty sure my model of the sun was contributed to NASA upon their personal request.

I'll tell you what I learned from school projects growing up, I learned my dad is damn good at this stuff and that sugar cubes and popsicle sticks were reserved for kids without engineers in the family. Is that what I want my kid learning? Not really.

So who gets more out of these projects? The parents or the children? Now, I have learned that Alexander Graham Bell invented the iron lung and that is good to know…I guess. Of other notable benefits, my eldest has learned how to sit in a chair quietly and hand me things so that's been good too. Oh relax; he's also learned how to make a clay dinosaur stand upright (I'm joking! Sorta.)

I think the real education comes from building parent projects with our children. I know I seem to be learning more from elementary school the second time around.

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